" Gaseous Goings-On..!" 'Michael A. Herr' (Aloha Friday)

Renowned author Michael Herr is back guest-blogging on this awesome Aloha Friday talking about  those silent but deadly noises going on around the world... Make sure and check out Michael's website at; http://www.michaelherr.com/



ALOHA FRIDAY

Gaseous Goings-On !

Aloha Folks,

A couple of years back I had a quite minor operation. As I lay on the gurney, a chic shower cap on my balding head and nothing else but some threadbare underpants on my body, waiting to be prepped a doctor pulled back the curtain to my little space and sat down.

"I'm Dr. So-and-So," he said. "I'm your anesthesiologist."
"Oh," I replied, "you're my gas-passer."
Then, as I normally do after speaking, I paused to think. Probably not the best response to a man who was going to put me out . . . and could easily see to it that I never came back. And he probably wouldn't cut me any slack for hitting him with a line from an old episode of MASH*.

Remembering that incident got me thinking about bodily functions. There are a lot of things we do that we pay no mind to, but there are several things we can't control that cause us embarrassment.

We yawn when someone is speaking — minor embarrassment. We cough during a theatre performance. If the coughing goes on and on that can be major embarrassment.

For real embarrassment, we have to look inward. Truly inward, to our abdominal region mostly.
Our stomach rumbles, telling us and all those within earshot that we are hungry, or empty. We grimace and clutch our stomach our actions telling those around us that we have no control over this sound.

But sound is even more embarrassing, when combined with smell.
Yes, we pass gas. Sometimes just a small amount, and so silently that no one can point directly at us as the source. Sometimes so much, and so violently, that a trip to the nearest restroom is required to see if our underwear has survived.

Women, in the old days, who passed gas used to look around immediately to see if there was a dog close by that they could blame. Buddy Hackett did a tremendously funny bit on this.
Passing gas, farting, is a natural activity, so why is it so embarrassing? In a boys' high school locker room it's actually more of a recreational activity. The idea there is to hold the gas in until you can get close to someone, preferably someone sitting on a bench about arse-high . . . and then let go.

While high school boys think farting is humorous, especially if they are the ones doing the farting in someone else's packed car, based on my own experiences many years ago, high school boys cannot conceive of high school girls farting. In fact, even today, the more beautiful the woman, the less likely a man is to be able to conceive of her farting. Just as women "glow" rather than "sweat", so women are perceived by many men as being incapable of passing gas.

So, if you're lying in bed at night with your wife and the covers fly up in the air, obviously it was you who really let one, not your adorable petite wife. Even though she's the one who had the Super Deluxe Bean Burrito for dinner. So say you're sorry, flap the sheets to air out the bed, roll over and go back to sleep. Pull the cloud of embarrassment over yourself.
Okay folks, see you next week.
　

Hana Hou, (Encore)  Shared from Facebook...

check out Michael's website at http://www.michaelherr.com/ 

The opinions, beliefs and viewpoints expressed by the various authors and forum participants on this blog site do not necessarily reflect the opinions, beliefs and viewpoints of the Publisher of Dakinetalk the blog, but they could? ;D)

Racism or what..?" 'Obama Da Dog' (Facebook-Source)



 My name is 'Obama.' My dad named me after President Obama.
I am proud to sayI am a dog who supports Obama... After-all
Willard Romney tied his dog to the roof of his station wagon
to accommodate luggage. What kind of man does that? I'm sure glad my
dad doesn't do that.

                                                      The Republicans top priority was to deny President Obama a second term by any means. The Republicans should be ashamed of denying America many opportunities but didn't because most are closest racists and cannot candle the fact that someone who doesn't look like them is the most powerful man in the world!
James "Kimo" Rosen

The rest of this blog is a random sampling of truths circulating all over Facebook, courtesy of Facebook shares...

Hana Hou, (Encore) Shared from Facebook...

And Finally... Hana Hou #2!  Shared from Facebook shares...

"The Eccentric on Kaua'i..." 'Bettejo Dux' (Classic Wednesday) Blog #777!

Guest-blogger Bettejo Dux is one of Kauai's most eccentric people, she has lived on the cosmic island of Kaua'i for over 40 years... She is an animal lover, people lover and enjoys life to the fullest. This is Dakinetalk lucky blog #777!    
www.bettejodux.com

THE ECCENTRIC ON KAUAI-Dakinetalk Lucky Blog #777

I think most writers are eccentric. We tend to be loners. Articles, columns, letters, novels are not usually written by a bunch of folks. There are writer’s clubs and courses in colleges and universities but I think most of the best writers go along with the idea: if you want to write, write. Study other writers. Read. I also think many of us find  our creative process dwindles the more social contact we have.

I also think writing is more a calling than a profession.
Filled with words and ideas we have to get them on paper. If we spoke them all the world would go deaf. I blame my addiction to words on my Irish roots, we’re filled with them. I think too many of my ancestors hung upside down and kissed the Blarney Stone.

As many writers in my generation did, I started with long yellow legal and a pencil. Then got lucky and married a man who had a small portable typewriter he’d taken with him to Berkley. He wanted to be the writer but it turned out I was. He was never jealous, but egged me on and even bragged. Bill,  delusional, was content to know that if he couldn't write, he was smart enough to marry a budding Dorothy Parker. That helped my ego.  As a young writer I hated rejection slips. Printed rejection slips. Nothing could be more demoralizing.

I’d learned to type, not a very good typist-I wasn't born to be a secretary-and am a terrible speller. Once I had an editor say, “Bettejo, never write a word without a dictionary.” I also have a habit of making up words which is fun, entertaining, and creative, only nobody knows what you’re talking about. Dictionaries do come in handy. Especially if you can remember the first three letters.

But eccentricity? Well, I have an over abundant supply. I am a devout non conformist. If everybody else is going north, I’m quite content to go south. In high school I went through the bobby sock and loafer shoe trip but as soon as I grew up I developed my own distinctive style. It went over. Heck, guys, in Manila I was named one of Manila’s best dressed women. Often the clothes I wore I designed. Don’t know if the fits the eccentric bin, but I remember the times fondly.

On Kauai, that bit of eccentricity went over like a great white shark in a wading pool. So I played it to the hilt.

To talk about eccentricity on Kauai is pretty much like talking about eccentricity in America-we’re a perfect macrocosm-and I think it does not usually play well. Most Americans seem to think they’re eccentric when they’re dressed just like everyone else and their garb has a designer label on it.  Think many of my generation did not outgrow the bobby sock stage.

You know what I love to wear most? Raggedy ass sweaty sweats, pants and sweaters with holes, and cheap white canvas tennis shoes made in China and bought and paid for at Payless.
I’m a practicing eccentric. Some one I love very much asked me, “Are you happy being you?” My answer? A resounding ‘yes’. You?

Hana Hou, (Encore)  Shared from Facebook...

Bettejo  also  publishes her own blog column.
You can check it out at ;  http://www.bettejo.wordpress.com .   Besides her blog she recently published and authored the humorous fiction book, "The Scam," check it out at(www.bettejodux.com) or  on Amazon.

http://www.bettejodux.com/

"Ashamed or Proud, You Be The Judge..!" ' Douglas Dunn'

Guest blogger Douglas Dunn  is a regular commenter and guest-blogger on dakinetalk... Doug runs a small publishing consulting business in San Diego county and is a  certified American sign language (ASL) interpreter (for Deaf people),  last but not least he has been a Democratic Party media spokesperson and has had  the good fortune to work with Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama. Doug also drives a Nissan Leaf !
Doug purchased a Nissan Leaf electric car last year doing his part to help save the planet along with
saving quite a few dollars by never ever having to purchase gas.

Doug with President Obama back in
2007 at the California Democratic Convention

Ashamed or Proud, You Be The Judge

The Republican party has TWO living former presidents:
George H.W. Bush and Dubya Bush.
Neither attended nor spoke at their recent convention.

The Democratic party also has TWO living former presidents:
Jimmy Carter and Bill Clinton.
BOTH will speak at the Democrats’ convention this week.
Bill Clinton will play a starring role with a key speaking assignment in prime time; the aging Jimmy Carter, now 87, will speak via a live video feed.

Additionally, most recent failed losing candidates Bob Dole and John McCain did not speak at the Republican convention. The last successful Republican vice president, and the immediate past officeholder of that position, was Dick Cheney, who will also be absent.

The most recent failed losing Democratic candidate John Kerry will speak at the Democratic convention. Al Gore, the most recent past vice president, will be in attendance, but will be hosting coverage of the convention for his cable network, Current TV.

It is obvious who is ashamed and who is proud of their leadership.

Hana Hou, (Encore)   Shared from Facebook...

The opinions, beliefs and viewpoints expressed by the various authors and forum participants on this blog site do not necessarily reflect the opinions, beliefs and viewpoints of the Publisher of Dakinetalk the blog, but they could? ;D)

If you would like to express yourself about any subject you feel passionate about, please  feel free to submit a guest blog to dakinetalk. Please limit guest blogs between 200-500 words, along with a short bio and photo of yourself. Send all blog submissions to; jrsensei@hotmail.com  who knows your blog could go viral!

"Politics, Slander and Libel..." 'James "Kimo" Rosen'

The joke goes; How can
you tell when a politician is lying?
As soon as they open their  mouth's.

Why are politicians in their ad campaigns allowed to slander and libel their opponents without consequence?

If we, the average person  were to put an ad on TV telling lies about another person we could potentially go to jail for slandering that person.

It's time to stop all this slanderous political dogma and  elect politicians  who have a few brain cells remaining who are willing to cross party lines and act on bipartisanship for the benefit of our great nation.

Hana Hou, (Encore)  Shared from Facebook...

" A lesson in irony..." Chester "Unc" Lau'

Master Sgt. Chester Lau, aka Unc is a retired cinematographer 
living his naturist  twilight years on the island of Oahu.
"Unc" shares a lesson in irony... Enjoy.  ;D)

: A lesson in irony. Why Work when you can get them FREE ? Yes,we should help the disable & elderly,mandate responsibility for child care back to parents,NOT THE TAX PAYERS !!! can feed the able bodies only if they do public services for food , shelter & compulsory  education for meaningful jobs to support themselves !!!l'oncle Amusant

 

The Food Stamp Program, administered by the U.S. Department of Agriculture, is proud to be distributing the greatest amount of free meals and food stamps ever.....

Meanwhile, the National Park Service, administered by the U.S. Department of the Interior, asks us to "Please Do Not Feed the Animals."

 

Their stated reason for the policy is because the animals,like humans will grow dependent on handouts and will not learn to take care of themselves.

 

This ends today's lesson.

Hana Hou, (Encore) Shared from Facebook...

"Crisis Intervention Counseling..." 'Harmony Bentosino'

 Welcome back dakinetalk's good friend 'Harmony'  for another adventure in her life..' Harmony is currently working on her Masters degree in counseling. She is  studying drug abuse counseling. Harmony  resides in Kapolei, Hawaii on the island of Oahu...
Harmony is a true free spirit as seen here swimming with dolphins on the island of Oahu...Harmony blogs about her recent fate...

Crisis Intervention Counseling
Harmony Bentosino


If it is true what they say about bad luck coming in threes, then I have met my quota, and I am safe!

Everything happened in the space of two weeks. One night, I was leaving my class on crisis intervention counseling when I had a crisis of my own. As I skipped down an outdoor stairway on the campus, I didn't see the last step. I slipped, and the pain in my foot and ankle was so excruciating I began screaming first because of the pain and second because I needed help.

My classes are at night, and I had stayed late. That meant no one was around to hear me. I soon realized that yelling was fruitless. I didn't want to stay there until someone found me the next morning.

I managed to hobble to the bus stop to catch my bus home. I asked the driver to drop me off by my driveway. The problem is that the driveway to my townhouse complex is very lengthy, and by the time I arrived home, the pain was so severe that I couldn’t walk AT ALL! It was now midnight. I didn’t want to scream or wake up my neighbors. I also didn’t want to lie in my driveway all night long. I began to crawl along the length of my long driveway. When my knees grew sore, I scooted on my butt. Luckily, I am in good shape, and scooting was not terribly difficult. I pity a frailer person who would have been stuck all night. However, by the time I reached my apartment and literally dragged myself up the stairs, the skin over my tail bone was rubbed raw!

The next morning my boyfriend drove me to the urgent care clinic. He had offered to come get me the night before while I waited for the bus. However, he lives on the other side of the island, and I knew the bus would arrive first. It actually came while we were speaking. The next day at the clinic, I learned I had sprained my ankle and broken my foot. They outfitted me with a cast and crutches. With a little practice, I learned to "fly" on the crutches. But if the distance I needed to walk in my home was short, I would hop on one foot, and that grew tiring.

Two days after this accident, I heard my neighbor screaming outside. I ran out forgetting to grab my crutches (although later my foot didn’t seem any worse for the wear). She had been walking her dog, and a big dog was attacking her little dog. The ferocious dog knocked her over and jumped on top of her as she tried to protect her little dog. Luckily another neighbor pulled the fierce dog off her little one. The tiny terrier, Tony, was a bloody, gory mess. The savage dog had bitten his ear off (among other things). I suddenly found myself doing crisis intervention because the woman walking the dog and her daughter had become hysterical. In my efforts to comfort the woman, her daughter, and the badly injured dog, I got too close, and the little guy bit me because he was so frightened.

"We don’t have money for a vet, and we have maxed out our credit!" they wailed. Luckily, the owner of the brutal dog paid for the vet. The bloodthirsty dog had escaped a fenced in yard because his owner forgot to close the gate. We didn’t even know if poor Tony would survive. He stayed at the veterinary hospital for a week. When he came home, he seemed to be doing better than the woman who walked him because she was suffering PTSD. It traumatized us all.

The third crisis also entailed a medical emergency. My boyfriend, who hadn’t felt well for a week, informed me he was at the hospital and needed to have his gall bladder removed. A little while later he called and explained they couldn’t remove his gall bladder because his heart had become unstable. "I could lose him," was the panicked thought that invaded my brain. By the next morning his heart had become stable enough to remove his gall bladder. I rushed to the hospital and was the first one waiting in his room when they wheeled him back from surgery. We soon learned "good riddance" was an appropriate response to his gall bladder because when they opened him up, the doctors discovered his gall bladder had grown gangrenous!

He made a slow recovery. When he first came home, he was too weak to feel like making love. I worried, "What if he never wants to do it again?" Luckily, a week later, things were back to normal in that department although his convalescence in other areas remained slow.

As I said, these three events happened in a span of two weeks. I was still attending my crisis intervention counseling class and found it ironic that I was the one experiencing all these catastrophes. Maybe the class ought to be counseling me! Perhaps, the crises I had encountered weren’t up to the level of suicide, sex assault, or natural disasters which we had covered, but I knew they counted for something! I related to my teacher what had happened and asked if the course could take on a more personal nature. He decided we would divide into pairs and take turns counseling each other. Since the class contained an uneven number of students, one dyad would become a triad. He suggested I join that group because he thought my saga warranted two listeners.

When it was my turn, I explained to my partners we were doing this exercise because I had experienced so many crises. Then, I described what had transpired. One of my classmates was empathetic about the emotions I had experienced, and it felt so soothing. Then, she responded, "Harmony, I remember in the last course we took on the spiritual dimensions of counseling you were doing a presentation on the role coincidence plays in your life! And look at what’s happening now! What do you make of all this?"
I answered, "Maybe, thing happen for a reason, or maybe, they happen by chance. I don’t know. Either way the important thing is what we do about them.

I’m the type of person who reaches out for support when I need it, and I couldn’t let this opportunity pass me by. I’m fortunate to be taking crisis intervention counseling when that’s exactly what I needed!"

Hana Hou, (Encore) Shared from Facebook...