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Saturday, March 21, 2015

"Losing a Parent..." 'Judith Whitehead' (Inspiration Sunday) ---Our condolences---

We are sorry to hear of the passing Judith's father, 'Bert Meyers.'
Judith Whitehead lives in Amherst New York.
 She has worked in the ophthalmology field
 of medicine for over 30 years
Looks like the warm weather agrees with Judith!.

Losing a Parent

Losing a parent has to be on the top of the grief list along with losing other loved one’s. My mom passed away 16 years ago and left my dad to carry on alone.  He led a full and wonderful life with my mom and did find a way to keep himself very busy until recent years when his body and mind began to fail him. 

He lived independently first in senior independent living and then about  about  3 yrs ago he could no longer manage even though we continued to prop him up with frequent visits.  He entered  local  nursing home continuing care where he needed constant help with his inability to walk any longer.  

When he was admitted into nursing care,  my real mourning began.  For him the loss of dignity and independence was a fate worse than death.   He was a stoic and independent man whose feistiness took over along with his growing  dementia; he had fleeting moments when he was with us in mind but chose to use only a few 
words to communicate for the remainder of his life. 

The people working in the nursing home knew very little about the person he really was; so full of life, funny, friendly and flirty with the ladies.  

There was only one real queen for him and that was the love of his life, my mom. He always was very social though and knew many people who began to pass away one by one.  When you reach your nineties, even though your health holds  up, it is inevitable that you will be joining God in the last chapter of your life. 

There are many levels of nursing care ranging from poorly paid aids to LPN and RN’s.  There are many people who work in a nursing home setting that clearly do not want to be there.  It takes a special 
person to fulfill those positions and it is very  clear some are in it for the long haul and others are just putting in their hours.  

We were able to check in on my dad just about every day and in his recent months of living brought him the foods such as matzo ball soup that he loved and was able to eat.
Nursing homes are on a  budget  but foods like pizza and  peanut  butter sandwiches etc were not on my dad’s diet.  He never ate pizza a day in his life.  He did not have the desire or amount of teeth to eat many foods.

God help the people that have no one to advocate for them in a nursing home setting of which there are many.  Few and far between get visitors as we observed and it can be a lonely and frustrating attempt to live out the rest of one’s life.   

Many nights I prayed that God would show mercy and take my dad in his sleep; my prayers were answered. Only 10 percent of seniors get to pass away this way; the others become sickly and linger with unhappiness.  My dad was an early riser and when I got the call at 5AM I knew what had happened.  

I am fortunate to have had parents living through my children’s upbringing so they could partake in the 
enjoyment of a family full of love.  My husband recently lost his mother who was in her 90’s as well.  

We now will continue on enjoying life and looking forward to new experiences with our growing family and will continue to draw strength from all the wonderful memories that we will keep close at heart from our parents. 

 I am sure they are all resting in peace and still watching over us in spirit.  I still feel their presence in many ways and will draw comfort from that for  all of eternity. 

"In the early morning hours this past Wednesday, 03-11-15, my dad peacefully joined my mom in heaven; it was the best way to pass away I could have asked for, no suffering, with a peaceful end to 95 years of life" Judith Whitehead
The below link will take you to the Obituary of Wilbert Meyers in the Buffalo news;

If you wish to sign the guest book click on the link below for Wilbert "Bert" Meyers;

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          Hana Hou, (Encore) Shared from Facebook...


Anonymous said...

Very good insight into a very sad situation. Thanks

KimoRosen said...

Judy I remember your dad hanging out with my dad when he drove me and two friends to a pinball tournament... I think my dad was afraid of me and my long haired friends and asked your dad to drive along!

Douglas meeker said...

My folks are in their 90's and slowing down, it isn't easy.

KimoRosen said...

Doug, My regards to George & Helen. Are they in Alaska or Kansas?

Stephanie Spritzer said...

I watched my dear friend Judy take care of her Father, it was touching, the care, thoughts , time...she did this for years.. she is a good soul...

Sandy Markley Levine said...

May his memory be for a blessing. I am with you in spirit at this time of grief mixed with thanks.

Judith Whitehead said...

Thanks you all...its quite an adjustment after seeing him so much