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Thursday, August 15, 2013

"Never been married and here's why...‏" 'James "Kimo" Rosen' (Guest appearance by Bettejo!)

Movie Star Irene Bedard (Disney's voice of Pocahontas) and James "Kimo" Rosen
during his tenure as Publisher of Alaska People Magazine back in 1998.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Irene_Bedard


Never been married and here's why

People are often surprised when they find out I am nearing the big 6-0 and have never been married?

It's really not their business, but the first thing that comes to  most people's mind, "are you gay?" No, I am not gay.("not that there's anything wrong with that." 

"Then why does a handsome intelligent man like you not have a wife?" I thank them for calling me handsome and intelligent stressing that flattery will get them everywhere.

First let me explain, although I have never been officially married I have lived with on a long term basis of 4 years or more  with four different woman in my adult life since the age of 23 and have had numerous short term relations too.

I always thought that  two people have more buying power and that when you have a significant other, wife, or husband common sense tells you life will cost less, right?  You can buy the larger jar of peanut butter, you can split the rent or mortgage and take turns on who drives and who buys the gas.

The irony of having a partner is life becomes much more expensive than living alone. Maybe 5 times as expensive!

The next time you feel sorry for  anybody in their 40's, 50's, or 60's who has yet to tie the knot, know that they may be just fine the way they are.

If you  cannot find happiness in another person do what I did, get a dog! Need I say more?  ;D)


P.S. Now for Bettejo's counter parody perspective to this blog.When someone parodies  you, it's the ultimate compliment!
Aunty Bettejo with nephew Tommy a few years back!

People are often surprised when they find out I am nearing the big 9-0 and have only been married twice. Been 27 years without a husband.

It’s really none of their business, but the first thing that comes to most minds is, “Are you a lesbian?” No I am not, daughter is, if that’s any help.

“Then why does a beautiful intelligent octogenarian like you not have a husband?” I thank them for calling me beautiful and intelligent stressing that flattery will get them everywhere. A couple of sick silly patriarchs on the line I’ve been banned on-twice-call me narcissistic. Well, I like myself. I love my smile. I love the picture Carol Ann Davis took of me that sometimes shows up at the top of my column in The Garden Island Wellness section on Wednesday.

I still speak to my Editor on this blog even after he took -and circulated- that awful picture of me blowing out a candle.

First, though-let me explain-I have been officially married. Twice, as I said before. Disaster the first time. Two kids, a young single mother. Help! Then a love affair with my second husband for 31years. After he died lots of men-I mean lots of men-came sniffing. I was single, had some money and some land and was ripe for conquest.

My foot.

I have buying power and I sure didn't need a sex hungry, gigolo messing up my world class act. I couldn't live with them and, trust me on this one, they couldn't live with me.

I buy in bulk, paper products and stuff and learned how to handle that. In the beginning I would forget to check the pantry or the other storage sites and discover I had enough toilet paper to paper the White House.  I’ve enough bottles of Tabasco to last me the rest of my life.

But I’m learning. And I’m going it alone and loving it. I do what I please, when I please and where I please.  It’s the only way to go.

I agree about the dog, though. Only my ‘family’ consists of a horse, a dog, two cats and a macaw.

Still, maybe Kimo could adopt me? Us?

I’d make him pay for that picture in spades. All that Tabasco sauce would come in handy. In his consecrated chicken soup I whizz up on Colette, my Vitamix. A whack over the head with Macha my trusty shillelagh.

Narcissistic? You ain’t seen nothin’.



Hana Hou, (Encore) Shared from Facebook...





50 comments:

KimoRosen said...

Not that there's anything wrong with it!

Deborah Morel said...

Liked your dakinetalk story. Nice photo. Handsome couple all the way around.

KimoRosen said...

Just a fun story, mainly all truth a little metaphoric at the end! ;D

KimoRosen said...

Bettejo, from one Narcissist to another very funny! ;D)

Deborah Morel said...

What a handsome couple you two make. You both look very happy!

KimoRosen said...

D- did you read Bettejo's counter blog, her parody on mine? If not click back on da link and read her side of da story, that's quite a photo of bettejo about me!

KimoRosen said...

D- are you talking about bettejo and her niece or me and the movie star? ;D)

Deborah Morel said...

You and your movie star love! Bettejo and her nephew make a sweet photo too.

KimoRosen said...

This blog was re-posted as a throwback blog on 10-29-14, the comments below this are all new comments;

Jaana Makipaa said...

That was great!
I often like to say that I don't want a husband or even a housemate because people tend to do more harm than good to my delicate ecosystem.

My recent move to Anahola turned my life upside down as I *had* to rely on help from (gasp) other people. The movers rushed through and grabbed items randomly, and placed them into my new home in such a random way that it took me an entire day just to find my toothbrush.

So, this is what I'm talking about. I have an almost-perfect system in my home. I know exactly how much coffee, toilet paper, tooth paste, etc that I have. I know where everything is & where everything belongs.

I also have a system that eliminates any excessive cleaning (I call it "preventative living" or, simply: self defense.) Very few people seem to be capable of coming into my home without causing some sort of disruption to my delicate ecosystem. It's always something, and however minute the disturbance may seem to others, it can be a huge one for me when I'm having my ultra-severe chronic pain days.

So, if I should ever get married again, I'm pretty sure we'd have to live in separate homes. And, he would have to be an incredible kind and patient man to deal with the likelihood that he wouldn't see me more than maybe once a month or so.

KimoRosen said...

Your comment was great too!
6 mins · Like

Anonymous said...

Right now I am so set in my ways, that I would drive a wife or live in girlfriend insane. ...

Harmony Bentosino said...

I love having a man support me physically, emotionally, financially, & even with food. I just don't want to live with one or be married!

Jaana Makipaa said...

LOL! I'm sure as we get older we all get so much more set in our ways, which is why I suppose a lot of men go for women half their age. You stand a better chance of "molding" someone who hasn't yet fully developed.
But, I'm beyond help. I'm too stubborn & selfish when it comes to my home & daily routines.
My home rules would basically be: "Cease to exist until I say it's OK for you to exist, and even then, only exist precisely in the manner I tell you to." Bwahaha! I am soooo bad...

Jaana Makipaa said...

Harmony wants a slave. (I do too.

Harmony Bentosino said...

I wouldn't say a slave at all. I love to give & receive in a relationship. I just don't want to live with anyone.

KimoRosen said...

Jaana and Harmony, both awesome individuals... It's definitely not the 1950's anymore. I guess I know I can never find June Cleaver, so I remain single!?

Jaana Makipaa said...

I humour never really reads very well. I sure hope no one thinks I literally want a slave.
And, Kimo, I think there are still some June Cleavers out there! But, you would have to be a Mr. Cleaver. In any case, anyone looking for a mate, especially on Kauai, is going to have a hard time. I gave up ages ago, and since then I also became too ill, so there'd be no sense even trying now -even if I were still interested.
It was an interesting experience & I met a few nice people, but, those days are clearly over for me. But I sure do enjoy the friendships I have!

KimoRosen said...

and Ward Cleaver I am not....Bwahaha! I BTW I was being somewhat facetious, people don;t get my humor either..

Jaana Makipaa said...

New rules: Assume everything I say is tongue-in-cheek unless I specifically indicate it isn't. (Yeah right. My humour will still escape most people... Oi vey.) (Was that "Oi vey" used correctly?)

KimoRosen said...

OY VEY!

KimoRosen said...

Talk about being misunderstood, you should had been during the hey day of my superferry jokes.

Jaana Makipaa said...

Do people get your humour/sarcasm better in person? For me it doesn't seem to matter whether it's in print or verbal. It's all about who I'm dealing with. And, sadly, most the people I know in "real life" don't seem to have much of a sense of humour at all.

KimoRosen said...

I think it has to do with with where people were brought up, my humor is more east coast, Seinfeld like humor which many outside of that part of the country just roll their eyes. here's a meme to prove it!

Skeleton rolling his eyes a s dice meme...

Jaana Makipaa said...

Oh yes, Seinfeld-like for sure! You're right, it does have a lot to do with where they grew up. East coasters more often "get" me. Although I do have one friend from the east coast & she absolutely *never* gets my humour, but I believe this is more because she has been indoctrinated into the belief system of "The Secret," where all words are taken so literally and it's "taboo" to say anything even remotely negative (even if joking). It's very difficult to communicate with someone like that. Especially for me, because, as you know, I am not very good at censoring myself.
19 mins · Unlike · 1

KimoRosen said...

back on topic, did you guys like Bettejo's parody of my blog?

Jaana Makipaa said...

LOVED it! Absolutely loved it!
3 mins · Unlike · 1

KimoRosen said...

see, Bettejo's humor was excellent, hopefully she will make a comment soon?

Jaana Makipaa said...

I'd love to meet her. She seems to have that fun sassy spark, which is a very rare trait here on Kauai. Bring her with you for Huli Huli!

Chester "Unc" Lau said...

Bettejo is my k ind of people,fantastic writer and a marvelous human being,love her Unc

KimoRosen said...

Bettejo Dux and i have lunch once a month in Lihu'e, you are welcome to join us sometime. We'll talk Saturday at the Huli Huli station...

Deborah Morel said...

I am laughing so hard this go round reading this tag team story by Kimo and Bettejo. I have been "Thainized"--adapting to the Thai culture where laughter is leads. Yes, Bettejo--live with Kimo, but don't give him an inch--be the Queen of Hawking, bartering, and price negotiating. Enough toilet paper for the White House? Let's go roll the White House. In Thai, the word is "sanook"--let's have fun!

KimoRosen said...

Agreed D, Bettejo Dux really had me in stitches the first time i saw that parody. I wish Bettyjo would join us on this comments thread...

Jaana Makipaa said...

I'm thinking this should be a regular thing.
6 mins · Unlike · 1

KimoRosen said...

Jaana , I will discuss it with Bettejo Dux, great idea!

Chester "Unc" Lau said...

Great Idea,let's roll !!!

Bettejo Dux said...

Okay, I'm here.Frazzles. Trying to hold it together.Getting ahead of it, I think. Kitten are adorable.Working on Secular Sabbath. Fun. We'll see. Love you. Monday, next, iour meeting. Got pictures for Kim.

Bettejo Dux said...

That's frazzled.

KimoRosen said...

Bettejo, did you read all the comments from your fans! Looking forward to the Secular Sabbath!

Bettejo Dux said...

Just now, Kimo. I stumbled on it. My kittens watched themselves on Ho'ike. Wish I'd had a camera. Trying to get back to work. It's been hectic.

KimoRosen said...

I really enjoyed that parody you wrote, Deborah thinks you should write more parodies on my blogs? Well?

Bettejo Dux said...

Sometimes I get in the right pew, other times I get lost in cyber space. Must do a thing about that, when I come back. Love all of you.

KimoRosen said...

"Lost in cyberspace" would be a great title for a future blog!

Bettejo Dux said...

Messages pop u. Pop down. Aol goes cuckoo. Computer goes cuckoo. My computer news got stuck on October 24. Sigh. Kim, I'll try Secular Sabbath first. It's in the works. Did you know you could buy a $1,200,000 bottle of champagne?

KimoRosen said...

please buy the bottle and invite everyone on this thread for a drink!

Chester "Unc" Lau said...

Bottoms up or Hokole malona

KimoRosen said...

L'chayim!

Jaana Makipaa said...

Oooh, I missed the visit by Bettejo! I hope she agrees to doing this on a regular basis. I'd love that!

KimoRosen said...

I hope so too Jaana, I will see her in person on Monday and hopefully she will agree to write more parodies! Huli Huli!

Jaana Makipaa said...

Excellent! Huli Huli!