"Romance" Bettejo Dux' (Classic Wednesday)

Bettejo Dux has lived  on the Cosmic island  Garden Island
of Kaua'i over 30 years. She is a weekly columnist in the local
newspaper (The Garden Island News) and is a published author
of the Novella "The Scam." Order your copies below.
www.bettejodux.com

Romance

Romance is such a pretty word, don't you think?

A pretty idea. Almost lost in the 21st century. Where did it go?

I think it's another of those wonderful healthy human traits. We can all indulge in a romantic spirit or sentiment, in a romantic aura. Don't you just love 'aura' ? To indulge in fanciful stories or day dreams? I think there's a time for that. I think we should all make time for that.

We don't have to go overboard or get lost in romantic pastimes, but to prop yourself in the shade of a comforting tree and find romance in every moment is good for everything that ails you. Birds, I think, are filled with romance. A friend of mind said, "Birds are pure spirits." I like that, too, and I must remind Duke, my favorite Macaw, when he starts to swear-I didn't teach him-or turn the air blue, green and purple with screeches to which this entire valley is subject.

I love Duke, he is pure spirit, but he has a Mephistophelean streak as broad as all outdoors. Maybe he envies the sweet romantic bird twitters that ring through the trees in my jungle. But, isn't it true? We could not enjoy romance if we didn't have reckless twaddle as balance. Everything must balance.

Balance romantic strawberry shortcake with stewed prunes lying limp in a bowl. Yuck.

I'm not great on romantic novels-they're a little too sweets for my taste-but tales of heroes and heroines and 'extraordinary or mysterious' events can be considered romantic, too. Remember Gone with the Wind and Wuthering Heights? Who in the world could ever forget Heathcliff?

I can remember when war films were not romantic. I remember fondly Romancing the Stone. Jane Wilder was a romance novelist. Such a fun wonderful romantic adventure.

Think of romantic textures. Velvet vs tweed. Silk robes vs Turkish cotton. Hats to be worn at Ascot opening day by beautiful women vs baseball caps slopped backwards.

Shalimar vs sweaty briefs.

Ginger Rogers and Fred Astair vs Madonna and chorus in ugly underwear.

Equestriennes on gorgeous steeds vs whatevers on bikes. No prejudice or intolerance intended.

I think we really need to bring back romance. Grab it by the collar. Haul it in like a trout on a line.

Voluptuate-I think I invented that word-in serious pleasant pastimes. Eat lots'a M & M's. Drink lots'a ice Chardonnay mit crackers and cheese. Unrestrained pleasure: climb a tree. Sit astride a strong limb. Grand soirees out in the carport with your neighbors and kids and dogs. Cheat and eat a hot dog in a hot dog bun slavered with mustard. And catsup.

Go back to writing with pencil and long yellow legal instead of swearing-hear Duke hear-at screwball computers with attitudes. Mine hates it when I make up words.

I gotta go. My mind is bending. Romantically. I'm getting carried away.

P.S.
Great short one minute video of a dog greiving adfter his human passes on;
http://blog.petflow.com/this-dogs-human-passed-away-what-happened-next-is-unbelievable/

Hana Hou, (Encore) Shared From Facebook

"Super Bowl XLVIII -AKA The Cannabis-Bowl..." James "Kimo" Rosen'

James “Kimo” Rosen is a retired professional photographer
living in Kapa'a with his best friend Obama Da Dog, Rosen also blogs as a hobby
.
This blog also appeared as my bi-weekly column
 in the Kaua'i Garden Island News on 01-27-14; 
Please click on the link below and hit recommend on the top right of column.
http://thegardenisland.com/news/opinion/guest/the-cannabis-bowl/article_c64c2376-8714-11e3-b54e-001a4bcf887a.html

 Super Bowl XLVIII -AKA  The Cannabis-Bowl   

The Denver Bronco's and Seattle Seahawks this years Super Bowl contenders represent the major cities in Colorado and Washington, the only states that have legalized recreational marijuana.  Some are calling this years Super Bowl the "Cannabis-Bowl and others are calling it the Bud-Bowl." People will overeat  like no other day in Super Bowl history.Pizza, chips,salsa, guacamole, sushi, sausages, BBQ,  and lots of Oreo cookies are predicted  to help  control the munchies.

The Super Bowl, a sporting event more popular than Christmas to many. It is referred to and  called "world championship" even though no foreign countries are involved. There are no Kenyans, Israeli's, Russians, Germans, Italians, Japanese, Chinese. Koreans, Croatians or buffed up Arabs from Dubai. 

Don't get me wrong, I am a huge football and Super Bowl fan, just don't believe it's a true world championship, maybe the U.S. Championship?

I find  it ironic that Superbowl numbers  are always written in Roman numeric values, yet most football fans have no idea how to read Roman numerals. This year is Superbowl 48, which translates to Super Bowl XLVIII. 

The  playoffs leading up to the Super Bowl are usually more exciting games than the Superbowl itself. Super Bowl is pure insanity. You have people watching and attending Super Bowl parties that have no idea of what a first down, field goal or touchdown are. They do know for the first ever an opera singer named Renee Fleming will sing the national anthem and Bruno Mars and the Red hot chili peppers are  the half time show of which no real football fan really cares, but maybe they do?

There are those who go to Super Bowl parties to watch the commercials and shish everyone during the commercial breaks. Then there are those like myself who like to Super Bowl partay.(a party without alcohol or drugs according to the urban dictionary))

Ads for this years Super Bowl will cost 4 million for a 30 second spot. It is not only a  super day of sports, but a super day for the major corporations that reveal their latest  in creative advertising.

 Tickets for the Super Bowl at Met-Life Stadium in New Jersey on Feb. 2 will cost upward of an arm and a leg.
The lowest ticket price found on Stub-Hub.com last Wednesday was $2,605 for upper end zone seating. 

For those with money to burn, "level 3 suites" cost (yikes) approximately $525,000!
Meanwhile, lower end zone ticket prices were in the ball park of  $110,000. Ticket scalpers can easily double and triple those costs.

Imagine a family of 5  attending the Superbowl, it would put them out over 500,000 to sit in the lower end zone for an afternoon of watching football. No thank you. I will stay home and  watch for the cost of cable in the comfort of my own recliner and remote, and not worry about traffic with  the potential of New Jersey Governor Chris Christie closing the George Washington bridge.

Every member of the losing team will receive $46,000 and every member of the winning team will receive $92,000 
 along with a Superbowl gold and diamond ring worth approximately $50,000, even more when hocked on Ebay. 

Spousal abuse runs at an all time high every Super Bowl Sunday. Pizza  parlors always say Superbowl Sunday is their busiest day all year for delivery. It is the second-largest day for U.S. food consumption after Thanksgiving

Every year it happens: Super Bowl Sunday approaches and super-sized things are said about the enormous impact on America by the football spectacular. Like, the water systems of major cities are in peril of collapsing due to a thunderous amount of simultaneous toilet flushing at halftime. 

This year Kraft Foods, announced a Velveeta cheese shortage a month before the Super Bowl. Just about every social media outlet, newspaper, television station, magazine and my column picked up the story. A crafty ploy by Kraft Foods to make people believe they need Velveeta for the Super Bowl.

The Super Bowl is the biggest party (partay) day in America with alcohol and food consumption in staggering numbers. The day following Superbowl Sunday should be promoted and billed as---wait,are you ready?  Drum roll.  Super-Bowel Monday. Fast curtain.

Go Hawks, Go Broncos!

http://thegardenisland.com/news/opinion/guest/the-cannabis-bowl/article_c64c2376-8714-11e3-b54e-001a4bcf887a.html

P.S. This may be the best pre-Super Bowl commercial ever! It's worth 60 seconds of your time!
http://wncy.com/blogs/charlis-angles/119/this-may-be-the-best-commercialeverway-to-go-footlocker/
P.S.S.
Hearing-impaired little girl writes awesome letter to deaf NFL Seattle Seahawks player;
http://msn.foxsports.com/buzzer/story/hearing-impaired-fan-s-letter-to-derrick-coleman-is-awesome-012114

Hana Hou, (Encore) Shared From Facebook...

"The Value of a Greeting Card..." 'Judith Whitehead' (Inspiration Sunday)

Judith Whitehead  lives in Amherst, N.Y. and has
worked in the ophthalmology field of medicine for
over 30 years. Today she talks about the good ole greeting card!.

Enjoy!

The Value of a Greeting Card

It seems the greeting card business has declined over the last few years; with the cost of postage rising, this weekend, in fact, many people have gone to sending e-cards over the Internet. 

WE now have a huge forum for greeting people over the electronic waves. Through Facebook and other venues we no longer have to send a REAL paper card for occasions, so many people think, I for one, still enjoy choosing a card for birthdays, holidays etc and personally mailing it to the person.  It still gives pleasure to open up a mailed card and feel and read it.  

My late mother in law always loved getting mail from us; there is a certain brand of card made by Papyrus that have very intricate covers to their cards and she so enjoyed studying them and collecting them.  We found that out when we had to clear out her apartment after she passed and found all the cards we had ever sent her collected and displayed. 

I will be one of the hold outs when it comes to mailing cards; it is still good etiquette to show someone you care and remind someone you still appreciate them.  The Internet will be with us for ever more and hopefully so will the greeting card business. 

Hana Hou, (Encore) Shared From Facebook...

"The good ole days..." 'James "Kimo" Rosen'

Waiting for da bus Hawaiian style at Keali'a bus stop,
sure beats waiting  for a bus anywhere else in the world.

James “Kimo” Rosen is a retired professional photographer living
 in Kapa'a with his best friend Obama Da Dog, Rosen also blogs as a hobby...

The good ole days

There is a frequently asked question in Hawaii, "How long have you lived here?" I use to despise that question since it is usually asked in an arrogant way. I was always under the influence that  a person who actually moves her on their own free will  is actually  here by choice, whereas a person born here that never left is only her because because their parents conceived them here.

Fast forward 15 years later and I am now asking the question myself. I am also cussing the "F " and "H" words behind my breath every-time I am in traffic caused by visitors and an overflow of rental cars causing a traffic jam.(even though I am "F-H" person myself )

I recently made the rounds on the Kaua'i bus to my doctor and  run a few errands. I have not used the bus much the fast few years and to my dismay the buses are  overcrowded. Like the airlines, seats are closer together giving you no personal head space between you and the people sitting in front, behind you and next to you. As my luck would have  it, the person in the seat behind me was a chronic cougher who do not cover her mouth.

My Doctors office was filled with out of town walk-ins causing a 90 minute wait. This used to be a small ma and pa doctors office used by  the community, now with tourism at an all time high I cannot even go to my doctors office without tourists and large crowds.

The public pool is no longer like cheers bar where it used to be a place where everyone knew your name and  they were glad you came. No longer are there the friendly hello's, head nods and small talk. Everyone is waiting for a lane to swim laps, and yes most lanes are now occupied by visitors.

I no longer recognize as any people  at the grocery store and the wait at the checkout lane is out of control.

Restaurants are charging an arm and leg and the quality of  food does not reflect the high prices being charged. The restaurants make money off visitors  with no worries about return business. Most restaurants after 7:00 P.M cater  primarily to   visitors. There is no incentive for our restaurants or food trucks to pass on reasonably priced meals since tourism is peaking and every night there will be new people, here today gone tomorrow. No need  for restaurants to be concerned with repeat business, since  new visitors come everyday replacing the ones from the day before.

Real estate is out of control. many locals living 2 and  generations in a small home. A fixer upper home in Hanamaulu on Kauai can cost upwards of 500,000 with no garage or basement. Hanamaulu is no resort, more a working class neighborhood.

The only thing that hasn't changed I cannot write about or talk about, since soon it will be discovered by the masses and I will be neglected for a more wealthy looking visitor.

I understand why locals are disturbed, I have only been here 15 years and can hardly believe my eyes on the changes and overcrowding.

Times are a changing, it's time for more roads, more hiking trails,  more franchise restaurants like Olive garden, Red Lobster,  Red Robin, In and out Burgers and some good cheap buffets. For now I'd settle for a nice Wendy's with a salad bar.

Things will never be what they were, everything changes for the good and the bad.For  many reading this,  these are the good ole days,  for me and the people of my generation the good ole days are gone. I sure miss them

Hana Hou, (Encore) Shared From Facebook...

"Blind Date..." 'Obama Da Dog' ( Source)

Obama Da dog wishes to share this joke about blind dates.
Obama just wants to make you laugh, hopefully out loud!  ;D)

Blind Date

Joe took his blind date to the carnival. "What would you like to do first, Kim?" asked Joe.

"I want to get weighed," she said. They walked over to the weight guesser, and he guessed 120 pounds. She got on the scale. It read 117, so she won a prize.

The couple then went on the Ferris wheel. When the ride was over, Joe again asked Kim what she would like to do.

"I want to get weighed," she said.

Since they had been there before, the weight guesser guessed her correct weight, and Joe lost his dollar.

The couple walked around the carnival and again he asked where to next. "I want to get weighed," she responded.

Joe decided Kim was weird and took her home early, dropping her off with a handshake.

Her roommate, Laura, asked her about the blind date, "How'd it go?"

Kim responded, "Oh, Waura, it was wousy."

Hana Hou, (Encore) Shared From Facebook...

"Mashed Potatoes..." 'Bettejo Dux' (Classic Wednesday)

Bettejo Dux has lived on the cosmic Garden Island of Kaua'i for over 40 years.
Bettejo is a regular columnist in the Garden Island news and is the author of the
famed novella, "The Scam."
www.bettejodux.com

Above photo; Bettejo Dux on far right holds a sign that says, "Live in Harmony," at the recent Martin Luther King Day celebration at Kuku'i Grove center in Lihu'e.

Mashed Potatoes

"When I was a little girl," I said, "the serving ladies at school called me 'mashed potatoes'. 'Get ready here comes  mashed potatoes,' was the cry down  line.

"I loved mashed potatoes and, I guess,  'cause I was little and skinny, they decided to fatten me up. I'd leave the counter with a tray almost too heavy for a runt to carry."

"Oh gawd, it's gonna be a story."

"Shut up and munch."

"Ten to one she'll divulge a recipe," he munched.

"You're on," another muncher munched. "Good thing. They're delicious."

'When was the last time you baked anything?"

"That's why I brought  this beautiful lady."

His beautiful lady rolled her eyes. "That and uncorking the wine and making the bed and cleaning  house. I like red better

than white with these things. Can I call a Cab?"

"Of course. Potatoes go good with red. It's a color thing. I love potatoes. They're versatile. Thank you Walter Raleigh and mother earth. Think of the versatility! You can make potato soup, potato salad, casseroles. You can roast'em, bake'em, slice and dice'em in omelets or fritatas. Hash'em. You can dress 'em up, dress 'em down, disguise 'em and you can eat'em for breakfast, lunch, dinner, snacks , happy hour. Soirees. They're vegetable. Remember them? A staple. They keep well. They're abundant. Easy to grow.  Not that expensive. They're  also very nourishing and  they're not fattening. A medium size baked potato, grown in rich soil, contains about a hundred calories, 2 grams of protein, 22 grams of carbohydrate, .5  grams of fiber, a trace of fat, no saturated fat,  3 mg iron, 60 mg. of calcium, 180 grams of potassium, 420 mg of sodium,   a trace of B1 and B 2, 3.2 mg of Niacin, 15 mg. of C."

"Did anybody get that down?"

"I recorded it. She likes to hear her own voice."

"I like'er better when she does the Alice B Toklas thing. When do we get to the hash?"

"Alice B Who?"

"Peasant."

"This ignorant younger generation."

"Alice  did fudge. Not potatoes. Don't get this one  riled or you'll get that shillelagh on your noggin."

"I never turn my back on'er when she's got that shillelagh in her hand."

"Do you want the recipe or not? There's also a beauty secret exposed here."

'I love beauty secrets."

"It isn't original - the beauty part is- use russet potatoes cut into 1/2 inch size. Extra virgin olive oil. Always. Don't peel. The skin's most nutritious.  Salt. Pepper. Oh, yeah, heat the oven to 450F first.

Soak the potatoes in ice water for about 15 or 20 minutes. Stick'em in a non stick tray in the oven. Bake for 15 or 20 minutes. Turn and bake for another 20 minutes, turning once in a while or until they're crisp and golden.That's  tricky.  Little more salt and pepper.  Serve fast. You can also toss 'em in Parmesan cheese. Minced garlic.  Chopped parsley."

"The beauty?"

" Snowden. State secret divulged."

"All that olive oil on your hands.? Don't wipe it off, rub it on your face."

Hana Hou, (Encore) Shared From Facebook...

"What's the problem officer..?" 'Robert Bitos Gandia' m (Source)

 Please  welcome Dakinetalk's newest guest-blogger,Robert Bitos Gandia.
Robert is an avid cook (ono gandule rice) and always laughing!!
He works at Syngenta as a Research Associate.
Robert lives in Kekaha on Kauai's west-side and loves football!!

What's the problem officer?

A male driver is pulled over by a cop and the following conversation takes place:

Man: What's the problem officer?
...
Cop: You were going at least 75 in a 55 zone.

Man: No sir, I was going 65.

Wife: Oh Harry. You were going 80.

(Man gives his wife a dirty look.)

Cop: I'm also going to give you a ticket for your broken tail light.

Man: Broken tail light? I didn't know about a broken tail light!

Wife: Oh Harry, you've known about that tail light for weeks.

(Man gives his wife a dirty look.)

Cop: I'm also going to give you a citation for not wearing your seat belt.

Man: Oh, I just took it off when you were walking up to the car.

Wife: Oh Harry, you never wear your seat belt.

Man: Shut your mouth, woman!

Cop: Ma'am, does your husband always talk to you this way?

Wife: No, only when he's drunk.

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