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Saturday, August 27, 2011

"Water, water and more water..."Bible saleman..." ' (Not so serious Sunday)Chester Lau'

Many thanks to guest blogger Chester Lau for all his contributions to dakinetalk, Chester you are dakine! :D)


The following will probably amaze and startle you.

One glass of water shuts down midnight hunger pangs for almost 100% of the dieters studied in a University study: Lack of water is the #1 trigger of daytime fatigue.

Preliminary research indicates that 8-10 glasses of water a day could significantly ease back and joint pain for up to 80% of sufferers.

A mere 2% drop in body water can trigger fuzzy short-term memory, trouble with basic math, and difficulty focusing on the computer screen.

Drinking 5 glasses of water daily decreases the risk of colon cancer by 45%, plus it can slash the risk of breast cancer by 79%, and one is 50% less likely to develop bladder cancer.

Are you drinking the amount of water you should every day? (No kidding, all of the above are true....)
Of course, too much water may have strange side effects......

Don't get carried away! Now that I have your attention, go get another glass of water!
BUT BE VERY, VERY CAREFUL!!!

Laugh often, long and loud... Laugh until you gasp for breath. And if you have friends who make you laugh, spend lots of time with them.



THE BIBLE SALESMEN-----A Great Way to Sell Bibles...If this doesn't
make you laugh, just go ahead and close your casket!)
A pastor concluded that his church was getting into very serious financial troubles. While checking the church storeroom, he discovered several cartons
of new Bibles that had never been opened and distributed.
So at his Sunday sermon, he asked for three
volunteers from the congregation who would be
willing to sell the Bibles door-to-door for $10
each to raise the desperately needed money for
the church.
Jack, Paul and Louie all raised their hands to
volunteer for the task.
The minister knew that Jack and Paul earned
their living as salesmen and were likely capable
of selling some Bibles. But he had serious
doubts about Louie who was a local farmer,
who had always kept to himself because he was
embarrassed by his speech impediment.
Poor Louie stuttered badly. But, NOT WANTING
TO discourage Louie, the minister decided to
let him try anyway.
He sent the three of them away with the back
seat of their cars stacked with Bibles. He asked
them to meet with him and report the results
of their door-to-door selling efforts the following Sunday.
Anxious to find out how successful they were,
the minister immediately asked Jack, "Well, Jack,
how did you make out selling our Bibles last week?"
Proudly handing the reverend an envelope,
Jack replied, "Using my sales prowess, I was
able to sell 20 Bibles, and here's the $200 I
collected on behalf of the church."
"Fine job, Jack!" The minister said, vigorously
shaking his hand..."You are indeed a fine salesman
and the church is indebted to you.."
Turning to Paul, "And Paul, how many Bibles
did you sell for the church last week?"
Paul, smiling and sticking out his chest, confidently replied, 'I am a professional salesman. I sold 28
Bibles on behalf of the church, and here's
$280 I collected.'
The minister responded, "That's absolutely
splendid, Paul. You are truly a professional
salesman and the church is indebted to you."
Apprehensively, the minister turned to Louie
and said, "And Louie, did you manage to sell
any Bibles last week?" Louie silently offered the minister a large envelope. The minister opened it
and counted the contents. "What is this?" the
minister exclaimed. "Louie, there's $3,200 in
here! Are you suggesting that you sold 320
Bibles for the church, door-to-door, in just one week?"
Louie just nodded.
"That's impossible!" both Jack and Paul said in
unison. "We are professional salesmen, yet you claim to have sold 10 times as many Bibles as we could."
"Yes, this does seem unlikely," the minister
agreed. "I think you'd better explain how you
managed to accomplish this, Louie."
Louie shrugged.."I-I-I re-re-really do-do-don't
kn-kn-know f-f-f-for sh-sh-sh-sure," he stammered.
Impatiently, Peter interrupted. "For crying out loud, Louie, just tell us what you said to them when they answered the door!"
"A-a-a-all I-I-I s-s-said wa-wa-was," Louis replied,
"W-w-w-w-would y-y-y-you l-l-l-l-l-like t-t-to
b-b-b-buy th-th-th-this B-B-B-B-Bible f-f-for
t-t-ten b-b-b-bucks---o-o-o-or--- wo-wo-would
yo-you j-j-j-just like m-m-me t-t-to st-st-stand
h-h-here and r-r-r-r-r-read it t-to y-y-you?"
 
 
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8 comments:

Davis "3-D" Danizier said...

via Facebook;"Hilarious and thought provoking.
I'll drink to that (and, after reading a few of those Bibles that got sold, I read about Jesus turning water into wine so, if you don't mind, I'd prefer to drink by 8-10 glasses that way)."

Davis "3-D" Danizier said...

via Facebook;"And also loved the Kimo for Kounty Kouncil sign.I'll have to vote absentee (shhh, don't tell 'em I'm in California)"

James "Kimo" Rosen said...

Dave, I won't say a ting!

Anonymous said...

via Facebook;"You, Douglas Dunn, Davis D. Danizier and Debbie Eayrs like this."

Douglas Dunn said...

via Facebook;"Hey Dave, you bring the water, have your friend Jesus do his magic, and I'll join you in putting away those 6-8 glasses a day! And knowing that your friend was "perfect," I'm sure he can conjure me up a good vintage!

And I'll vote for Kimo (from California) too!
I think, actually, Kimo has a good following from the Golden State but, heck, we are some of the strongest supporters of the Kauai tourist trade!"

James "Kimo" Rosen said...

Doug and Dave, maybe I'll move to San Diego county and run for council there instead?

Davis "3-D" Danizier said...

via Facebook;"No, I think we'd be happier living in the paradisaical beauty of the amazing Garden Island!"

Anonymous said...

via facebook;"You, Harmony Bentosino, Douglas Dunn and 2 others like this."