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Monday, November 10, 2014

"We all have demons of our own" 'Kimo's world #42'

James “Kimo” Rosen is a retired professional photographer living in Kapa'a
 with his best friend Obama Da Dog, Rosen also blogs as a hobby... 

Throwback photo of Rosen in front of his
 Alaskan photo studio 
back in 1983




Kimo's world #42

We all have demons of our own

We all have our problems.  I have discovered  a way to  feel better is to talk about anything but your problems. Talk about a  movie, TV show, sports event, an upcoming holiday, or even the price of tea in China.

Most places I frequent even with people who barely know me, will spill their inner demons to me. (WHY?)

One person tells me she's having a party, is overwhelmed and wants to cancel. I say yes, cancel, then she goes on for another fifteen minutes while she has me cornered in a booth at a local fast food franchise. (HELP!)

Another person is always telling me how hard they have it. I look at them and think, my Lord you don't know what hard times are. (OY VEY!)

Believe it or not I have been in therapy before and the therapist starts telling me her problems, I think to myself, hold on Doc, I am the one paying, your suppose to listen to me?

Even on Facebook there are people I barely know telling me inner most secrets, why?

To top of it, when I was a kid of eight years old, my parents confided  their problems to me, telling me to not tell the other parent what they just told me. (JEEZ...)

I guess it's somewhat of a compliment that so many people put their trust in me, or is it that I just look like a sucker?

I have learned after 5:00 P.M. and on the Sabbath to take my phone of the hook  and try to not look at Facebook, otherwise I get overwhelmed with everyone else's problems.

People always think their problems  are so rough, but don't realize others too have demons of their own. We're all victims of many battles. I find having a friend to talk with about anything besides the thing that is bothering  you is instrumental to one's mental health.

They say, " Be kind for everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about."

Have you ever noticed...one of the greatest things you can lend someone...is a sympathetic ear? 

I only  wish I had become a shrink, at least I would be paid for listening to everyone's demons.(OH WELL...)

P.S.
These are the meme's used all week to promote this blog on Facebook;



Hana Hou, (Encore) Shared From Facebook...




A little birdie told me so...

36 comments:

Harmony Bentosino said...

While getting my counseling degree, I learned it is a big no no for the counselor to tell the client their problems. The only rare exception would be if the counselor judged that a certain amount of self- disclosure was genuinely in the best interest of the client.

KimoRosen said...

??? Must had been the case?

Harmony Bentosino said...

Was it? Only you would know if it helped.

KimoRosen said...

I guess now that you mention it. I was talking about about the stress of noisy construction and she started talking about her own construction in her condo that was very maddening and frustrating... I guess she was thinking misery o was company?

Harmony Bentosino said...

So long as she didn't talk about it to the point where you ceased to be the main focus of the session

KimoRosen said...

Your smarter than her! Mahalos Doc.

Rick Comstock said...

I enjoy talking with others, but there is a thereshold of comfort that remains my own demons.

The old saying of men don't talk to men like women relate to other women is true and understandable. At times you conduct a conversation with another male only to feel like "this guy thinks I'm gay!" Women think of him as being sensitive and caring.

Just about all of us can say, "thanks Dad, the demon was you till I learned to forget how you raised me."

At 62 I'm finally learning to reach out and receive and to listen and not judge. I relate to learn something, like falling into a pit and finding others sharing the bottom. Realizing solutions can be found in numbers. It's just that being trapped in a pit or trapped in a booth if you listen it just might be information you can use to give to the next pit / booth bond individual. Something Dad couldn't relate to.

Jaana Makipaa said...

Harmony is correct. But that doesn't mean it doesn't happen (and far too often)!

Parents sharing their problems with children is so wrong. Especially when then expecting the child to keep it a secret from the other parent. This happened in my own family & I made it a point to never do the same to my son. Kids don't need to know adult problems.

Otherwise, I like lending an ear to friends. It helps me take my mind off my own problems, even when my own problems are much greater than the person confiding in me. But that doesn't invalidate their problems!
It's not fair to compare "who has it worse." Pain is pain.
Unless the person confiding in you is suffering from a broken nail or some petty issue like that, in which I reserve the right to mock them.

KimoRosen said...

again, it's a compliment that so many confide in me, but it get's weird when woman start coomplaining to me about their boyfriends, like I am a woman or a gay friend, that never feels right....

Anonymous said...

THIS IS WHY THE EARTH IS IN CRISIS - men like you talk about anything but SOLUTIONS… and show the same old same old photos - then make sure
everyone knows your JEWISH

Harmony Bentosino said...

Maybe, you could try telling them you don't know how to help.

Jaana Makipaa said...

Sometimes women think it would help to hear a man's perspective on things. But, I'm pretty sure it's more often the case that they're just looking for sympathy.

KimoRosen said...

My experiencing is they are just venting, not listening and not wanting feedback. Just, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah...

KimoRosen said...

Harmony, why don't you set up a private practice? Do you need a special license for a private practice?

Harmony Bentosino said...

That's the problem, Kimo. I would need a license which would be harder to obtain than my degree. I'm still figuring out what I want to do & hoping the play therapy course will help.

KimoRosen said...

That's a bummer, what's it take money or time or both? Private practice would be awesome.

Harmony Bentosino said...

It takes mostly time of working full time for 2 years under supervision which I would have to pay for even as I got paid for the job. Also a difficult exam which for me would be easier than the work experience. Private practice is a huge responsibility with lots of liability issues. If I worked for an agency & got in over my head, I would just have to ask my supervisor what to do. I have issues about working for agencies based on negative experiences during my internships.

KimoRosen said...

I hear you about liabilities. I am working a blog for next week about living in sue happy society. everyone looking for a big pay day at the expense of others....

KimoRosen said...

I hear you about liabilities. I am working a blog for next week about living in sue happy society. everyone looking for a big pay day at the expense of others....

Jaana Makipaa said...

I thought that unlicensed people could run private practices as a counselor of some sort. Either that, or I knew of someone doing that illegally. 😕
Harmony, are you a licensed counselor or therapist? Where do you work? (If you prefer not to reveal here, feel free to private message me that info.)

Harmony Bentosino said...

Unlicensed counselors can only work under other licensed counselors. Or maybe they could work for themselves but not call themselves a counselor. Maybe call themselves a life coach although that profession has its own credentialing. i am not licensed, nor am i working in the field now. I am taking a post-graduate course in play therapy & learning to work with children.

KimoRosen said...

hairdressers, barbers and bartenders are the cheapest therapy...

Jaana Makipaa said...

LOL! Facebook is pretty cheap therapy too.
Harmony, best of luck to you! (And thanks for the clarification)

Harmony Bentosino said...

I agree. FB is one of the best therapies there is for me!

Anonymous said...

Jaana or Harmony, how about guest-blogging about "Facebook therapy?" I have blogged about the evils of social media, how about the good!?

Harmony Bentosino said...

If I find time which is scarce now.

KimoRosen said...

H & J, your both always welcome with open arms to guest-blog, you know that!

Jaana Makipaa said...

LOL! I need to settle down first. Here I am now in Lihue checking FB when I should be driving to my next destination. I'm procrastinating, as always.... Waking is very hard today for some reason.

KimoRosen said...

Jaana, lucky you, I need to be seated at my computer, I still never got an eye phone or cell phone. I am on my way to Lihu'e too after I post this, so no more posting until this evening for me.... Aloha

Jaana Makipaa said...

See u in Lihue!

KimoRosen said...

Missed you, just got back from Costco, I go to Costco every Monday if you ever want to meet for lunch?!

Jaana Makipaa said...

I was stuck in Home Depot the entire time. I will never go back in there again! (Nor Costco.) I just hate those huge stores so much... But, yes, let's meet up for lunch next time for sure!

KimoRosen said...

next time Bettejo and I have lunch, it's always on a Monday, usually somewhere in the food court at Kukui grove. I know Bettejo would love to meet you!

Jaana Makipaa said...

Ooh! If Bettejo will be there, I will even make an extra-hard effort to meet up! I'd love to meet her too!

Deborah said...

Are you telling your problem us
us?! LOL!

Anonymous said...

via Facebook;
" Kimo, are you telling your problem to us in your story!?"