"Alaskan Humor..." 'Marvin Gross' (Source)

"Marvin Gross is a financial consultant from Western New York. He likes to consider himself somewhat of a comedian,  I believe he succeeded with the following Alaskan Humor, enjoy..."

The day after his wife disappeared In a kayaking accident, an

Anchorage man answered his door to find two grim faced Alaska State

Troopers.

"We're sorry Mr. Wilkens, but we have some information about your

wife", said one of the troopers.

"Tell me! Did you find her?", Wilkens exclaimed.

The troopers looked at each other.

One said, "We have some bad news, some good news, and some really great news. Which would you like to hear first?"

Fearing the worst, the ashen Mr. Wilkens said, "Give me the bad News

first."

The trooper said, "I'm sorry to tell you, sir, but this morning we found your wife's  body in Kachemak Bay ."

"Oh my God!", exclaimed Wilkens.

Swallowing hard, he asked, "What's the good news?"

The trooper continued, "When we pulled her up, she had 12 twenty five-pound king crabs and 6 good-sized Dungeness crabs clinging to her, and we feel you are entitled to a share in the catch."

Stunned, Mr. Wilkens demanded, "If that's the good news, then what's the great news?"

The trooper replied, "We're going to pull her up again tomorrow.

 

The opinions, beliefs and viewpoints expressed by the various authors and forum participants on this blog site do not necessarily reflect the opinions, beliefs and viewpoints of the Publisher of Dakinetalk the blog, but they could? ;D)

If you would like to express yourself about any subject you feel passionate about, please  feel free to submit a guest blog to dakinetalk. Please limit guest blogs between 200-500 words, along with a short bio and photo of yourself. Send all blog submissions to; jrsensei@hotmail.com  who knows your blog could go viral!

"For now, enjoy your morning Joe..." 'Obama Da Dog' (Aloha Friday)

Obama Da Dog is sitting in this Aloha Friday for Michael Herr, hopefully Michael will be back next Friday!
"Many still read a hard copy of their daily newspaper, however studies show most are reading online..."This blog ran an an opinion article in the Friday May 11, 2012 edition of the Kaua'i Garden Island news titled; "The Times are indeed changing..."
http://thegardenisland.com/news/opinion/mailbag/letters-for-friday-may/article_ac8a7d34-9b43-11e1-b6ed-001a4bcf887a.html

The Garden Island newspaper recently announced they will no longer be printing a Saturday edition. Saturday has always statistically been  the least read day of most Newspapers around the globe.The Friday and Saturday's paper commencing May 4TH will be combined as a special weekend edition, however a Saturday paper will still be avail on line.

This is a  brilliant move by TGI since I believe the future of print media will go totally cyber-electric.  People now read novels electronically on their Kindles with a quick download, students do the same with their text books and most of us can read just about any newspaper across the planet with a simple click of the mouse.

The environment benefits, there are no polluting papers or inks and the business going totally electronic can save enormous amounts of capital.

Radio did not go belly-up the advent of the television, movie theatres did not go out business with the brainchild of the VCR and DVD, and although many may lose jobs, such as pressman and paper-boys, many others will gain employment in the cyber world.

For now  you can still enjoy your morning Joe with with a hard-copied 'TGI,' however to quote my friend Robert Zimmerman,  "These times they are a changin!"

http://thegardenisland.com/news/opinion/mailbag/letters-for-friday-may/article_ac8a7d34-9b43-11e1-b6ed-001a4bcf887a.html

The opinions, beliefs and viewpoints expressed by the various authors and forum participants on this blog site do not necessarily reflect the opinions, beliefs and viewpoints of the Publisher of Dakinetalk the blog, but they could? ;D)

If you would like to express yourself about any subject you feel passionate about, please  feel free to submit a guest blog to dakinetalk. Please limit guest blogs between 200-500 words, along with a short bio and photo of yourself. Send all blog submissions to; jrsensei@hotmail.com  who knows your blog could go viral!

"Love this Doctor... 'Chester "Unc" Lau' (Source)

Chester "Unc" Lau is a retired cinematographer living his golden years on Oahu. "Unc" was a Master sergeant in the Korean war and enjoys the naturist lifestyle. Hope you enjoy 'Uncs" medical advice!

: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can
prolong life. Is this true?A: Heart only good for so many beats, and that it... Don't
waste on exercise. Everything wear out eventually. Speeding
up heart not make you live longer; it like saying you extend
life of car by driving faster. Want to live longer? Take nap.

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: Oh no. Wine made from fruit. Brandy distilled wine, that
mean they take water out of fruity bit so you get even more
of goodness that way. Beer also made of grain. Bottom up!Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?A: Well, if you have body and you have fat, your ratio one
to one. If you have two body, your ratio two to one.Q: What are some of the advantages of participating
in a regular exercise program?A: Can't think of single one, sorry. My philosophy: No
pain...good!

Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU NOT LISTENING! Food fried in vegetable oil.
How getting more vegetable be bad?

Q : Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little
soft around the middle?A: Oh no! When you exercise muscle, it get bigger. You
should only be doing sit-up if you want bigger stomach. Q: Is chocolate bad for me? A: You crazy?!? HEL-LO-O!! Cocoa bean! Another
vegetable! It best feel-good food around!Q: Is swimming good for your figure? A: If swimming good for figure, explain whale to me.Q: Is getting in shape important for my lifestyle? A: Hey! 'Round' is shape!

Well... I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have
had about food and diets.

And remember: Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving
safely in an attractive and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in
sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body
thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO-HOO, what a ride!!"

AND.....

For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition
and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies.

1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans...

5. The Germans drink a lot of beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer
fewer heart attacks than Americans.


CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.

Editor's note, Dakinetalk guest bloggers do not necessarily represent the opinions of dakinetalk. Guest bloggers are given space to express their beliefs and or opinions. We feel there are many roads and like to give people space to express their thoughts,after-all that's what dakine is...Aloha, James "Kimo" Rosen, Publisher.

"What I learned in Afghanistan..." Charles Djou (Special Guest-blogger)

Charles Djou at Camp Bullis Afghanistan, Charles Djou is running for Congress in 2012 and in my mind is a true patriot and hero. Imagine if all our political leaders served in war zones?  Charles Djou is an American hero and dakinetalks guest-blogger today! (photos courtesy, Team Djou)

Charles Djou represented Hawaii’s 1st Congressional District from 2010 to 2011 and was a member of the House Armed Services Committee. He deployed with the 3rd Brigade Combat Team, 10Th Mountain Division (Light Infantry) at Forward Operating Base Pasab from 2011 to 2012.

Enclosed is my letter asking the Congressman for permission to publish the enclosed  essay along with his personal response and his heartfelt essay... James "kimo" Rosen, Publisher dakinetalk


Aloha Congressman Djou,

 Mahalo Nui Loa for your service to our great country. You are the real thing, a politician that's been on the front line, I wish all politicians did what you did. You are a hero! Imagine if each presidential candidate was required to experience war, a different world it would truly be, again from my heart, Mahalo!

 I am emailing you to ask permission to run the enclosed as a guest-blog within my daily blog titled ,"dakinetalk."

The congressman's response...Aloha Kimo, sorry for the long delay in responding. Certainly go ahead and
run the blog. I also deeply appreciate your kind words and support. But,
if there is any true hero it is my wife who had to manage the home front
by herself while I was deployed in Afghanistan. Best wishes, Charles


What I learned in Afghanistan- Charles Djou

Serving with the U.S. Army on a forward operating base in a violent combat zone in Afghanistan taught me many things. I have a new found appreciation for basics like running water. I treasure, more than ever, time with my family. But mostly, I have a renewed respect and appreciation for the men and women who place themselves in harm’s way to answer our country’s call.


It was an honor to serve with soldiers who gave selflessly, not for fame or fortune but to defend the cause of freedom and security for all Americans. Again and again, I witnessed true sacrifice in action.

I served with a West Point lieutenant, age 24, who stopped his platoon on patrol at a bridge over the Arghandab River. Though intelligence said the bridge was clear, the lieutenant had a “funny” feeling. So he approached the bridge alone to investigate. A Taliban insurgent, using a command wire, detonated an improvised explosive device that killed him, slicing his body in two and throwing the pieces 20 feet in the air. Because of the lieutenant’s actions, he most likely saved the lives of his platoon. He left behind a young wife and 1-year-old daughter.

I served with a staff sergeant who was leading a squad of 10 soldiers when radio traffic picked up Taliban insurgents massing to ambush his men. The sergeant, knowing the need to find cover quickly and get his soldiers protection, went alone into a nearby ditch, which had not been cleared for mines. He wanted to be sure that his men could take cover safely. He stepped on an IED. He lived but went home missing both legs.
But even as I learned something about our service members’ heroism and sacrifice, I also learned something about the enemy we face.


I oversaw detainee operations for my brigade. It was my responsibility to vet every enemy insurgent captured. I processed more than 100 enemy Taliban captured by U.S. and coalition forces in the Zharay District of Kandahar province, the most violent district in one of Afghanistan’s most violent provinces.

The insurgents I helped lock up included a Taliban who murdered local Afghans simply because they worked with Americans. After killing his victims, he would throw their bodies at the doorstep of the local mosque, with a note nailed into their forehead, threatening that he would “get” any other local nationals who dared to try to find work with coalition forces.

Another insurgent we captured gave hand grenades to young children, saying these “firecrackers” only worked if you threw them at U.S. soldiers.

Back home, things are understandably bleak. Our economic recovery is sluggish and fragile and our political system is dysfunctional and broken.
But having served in Afghanistan, I know that the problems and issues facing our country can be fixed through solid leadership that will put the best interests of our nation first. And by each and every one of us coming together to do our part.

Let’s agree that no matter how bitter the partisan gridlock in Washington, we are not enemies. I've looked into the eyes of radical Taliban insurgents. I know what it means to have a real enemy. Let’s agree that with the right leadership and hard work, we are capable of overcoming our nation’s major challenges and seemingly insurmountable obstacles.

Instead of focusing on the issues that divide, we need elected representatives who can unite, inspire and lead. If we can come together around the common cause of preserving what is great about America for the next generation, our best days are ahead of us.

For more on Charles go to;
http://www.djou.com/
http://www.politico.com/news/stories/0312/74070.html

Early life, education and career

Born in Los Angeles, California, to a Chinese-American father and a Thai-American mother, Djou grew up in Hawaii. He graduated from the same high school as President Barack Obama, Punahou School, and earned a Bachelor of Arts in political science and a Bachelor of Science in finance from the Wharton School of Finance of the University of Pennsylvania graduating magna cum laude. He earned his law degree at the University of Southern California Law School.

Editor's note, Dakinetalk guest bloggers do not necessarily represent the opinions of dakinetalk. Guest bloggers are given space to express their beliefs and or opinions. We feel there are many roads and like to give people space to express their thoughts,after-all that's what dakine is...Aloha, James "Kimo" Rosen, Publisher.

"To Keep the Penny or not…that is the question..?" 'Judith Whitehead' (Inspiration Monday)

"Guest-blogger Judith Whitehead lives in Amherst N.Y. and has worked in the ophthalmology field of medicine for over 30 years..." She talks about the days when a penny was actually worth something... Enjoy.

                                            To Keep the Penny or not?

It seems that our government is leaning towards the decision of discontinuing the use of the penny; I never thought I’d see that day come to be.  I was raised on the importance of the penny. 

The penny taught us all how to save money when we were young; it represented the value of saving for something big.  Our pennies would quickly add up to a large amount of currency in those days. 

 We would collect so many of them and ask the bank for rolls to put our pennies in.  Finding a penny on the ground is a symbol of good luck and if you then give that penny away, your luck will be all that more increased. 

When we would find an old penny, we would take an eraser from a pencil and shine it to look new again.  How many of us would go to the penny candy isle at the five and dime store and buy a pocket full of dots and penny candy, full of sugar and good times. 

I guess the generations that are coming up the ranks will have to collect the next best thing…..a nickel….life will never be the same.

Editor's note, Dakinetalk guest bloggers do not necessarily represent the opinions of dakinetalk. Guest bloggers are given space to express their beliefs and or opinions. We feel there are many roads and like to give people space to express their thoughts,after-all that's what dakine is...Aloha, James "Kimo" Rosen, Publisher

"The Smart Politician..." 'Obama Da Dog'

Obama Da dog believes smart meters should replace politicians, read on...

This blog was published an an opinion article in the 04-21-12 edition of the Kaua'i Garden Island News: "Smart meters not that smart..." http://thegardenisland.com/news/opinion/mailbag/letters-for-saturday-april/article_6773d694-8b50-11e1-a7dd-001a4bcf887a.html

Smart meters  seem to be the hottest topic in many newspaper  forums across the country these days. Many electric companies across the country are replacing old electric  meters with  new state of the art meters to  rage and protest from consumers.

Smart meter talk will soon be replaced with the upcoming 2012  local state and national elections.

Imagine if smart meters were actually smart and could replace what we currently have for politicians.

Imagine smart meters solving  the recession, putting an end to barking dogs, leaf blowers and all noise pollution. Now imagine they could end traffic congestion, GMOs, racial tensions and drug abuse!

Smart meters just need to be re-programmed to replace human politicians  and we would  all live happily ever after, now that would be smart!

Editor's note, Dakinetalk guest bloggers do not necessarily represent the opinions of dakinetalk. Guest bloggers are given space to express their beliefs and or opinions. We feel there are many roads and like to give people space to express their thoughts,after-all that's what dakine is...Aloha, James "Kimo" Rosen, Publisher.

"Chewdaism..." 'James "Kimo" Rosen'

"Remember to chew your food at least 25 times before swallowing if you wish to become a member of 'Chewdaism!' ;D)"

I was recently  watching on television the "View "and saw an interview with author A.J. Jacobs who recently penned a book called, " Drop dead Healthy." Jacobs lost twenty lbs by doing things like literally running errands, taking the stairs, parking far away at mall and shopping centers, and changing his diet to eating no white food, except broccoli.

The main ingredient he credits to a new movement called Chewdaism, not to be confused with Judaism. Chewdaism is where you chew your food numerous  times until you swallow.

WE are a country of under-chewers which has  health implications. If we started using our molars by chewing more before swallowing  it would not only improve our digestion but our waistlines. A recent study financed by the  American journal of Nutrition found that when people chew almonds at least 25 times they absorbed more unsaturated fat (the good kind of fat) than those who chewed 10 times or less.
 

Funny thing is people always tell me I don't look Chewish, none the less I am a full fledged convert!

Unlike Judaism, Chewdaism requires no yearly membership dues,  attending services, circumcision or tax deductible donations.

Chewdaism is free and has my vote as  another  great  health  and spiritual alternative!

FOR MORE INFORMATION GO TO; http://www.ajjacobs.com/content/home.asp

The opinions, beliefs and viewpoints expressed by the various authors and forum participants on this blog site do not necessarily reflect the opinions, beliefs and viewpoints of the Publisher of Dakinetalk the blog, but they could? ;D)

If you would like to express yourself about any subject you feel passionate about, please  feel free to submit a guest blog to dakinetalk. Please limit guest blogs between 200-500 words, along with a short bio and photo of yourself. Send all blog submissions to; jrsensei@hotmail.com  who knows your blog could go viral!