" So, What Is Polyamory..?" 'Harmony Bentosino' (Harmonic Wednesday is back!) ;-)

 Welcome back Dakinetalk's good friend 'Harmony!'   
Harmony recently completed  her Masters degree in counseling.
Harmony  resides in Kapolei, Hawaii on the island of Oahu...
Harmony is a true free spirit as seen here swimming
 with dolphins on the island of Oahu...Harmony blogs about her recent fate...

So, What Is Polyamory..?

Polyamory comes from the Greek and Latin words for many loves.  It is a romantic relationship that involves more than two people.

You mean like swinging?

No, swinging has a different focus.  Swinging is about recreational sex.  With polyamory, the focus is on deep relationships, although deep relationships can naturally lead to sex.

So you mean it’s like cheating with a girlfriend on the side?

No, with polyamory everyone involved is open and honest and has agreed to the relationship.  If you can’t invite your lover to Christmas dinner, then chances are the relationship is not polyamory.

So polyamory is for people who can’t commit?

No, just the opposite.  If you can’t commit to one person, how are you going to commit to two or more?  Many so called monogamous people actually practice something called serial monogamy which means they jump from one lover to the next while claiming to be monogamous with each one.  While no one expects every relationship to last forever, some serial monogamists believe relationships are expendable and will stay with one partner until something better comes along.  Or at the first sign of trouble, they will just bail.

Polyamory is a more ethical choice because polyamorists don’t discard an old partner when a new one comes along.  It reminds me of a song we used to sing around the campfire in Girl Scouts, “Make new friends, but keep the old.  One is silver and the other gold.”

 But if you love someone, then you shouldn't want anyone else, right? 

That’s a common idea, but it doesn't always hold up in practice. However, there are a minority of people who do successfully practice lifelong monogamy.

Many believe if you have multiple loves, then you can’t give your whole heart to one person, and that if you love more than one, your love is divided and not as deep.  But that is based on the scarcity model.  Love can behave in unpredictable ways.  It’s like the more you give, the more you have to give.  It is similar to having and loving more than one child.  

Some think if you love one person and start to love someone else, then, you really didn't love the first person, but that goes back to the scarcity model which believes that in a world of six billion people, there is only one soul mate for each person.  Not too realistic.

The best way to make polyamorous relationships work is by following the rule.  Rules?  What rules?  If you want to sleep with someone, don’t you just sleep with them?

No, it doesn't work that way.  

But of course, there are as many different varieties of polyamory as there are people. There is no one right way to practice it, although all poly relationships involve honesty, respect, and compassion.     .  

But yes, there are rules.  What kind of rules?  

There are polyfidelitous relationships which could involve a triad.  The triad could consist of two people having sex with one of the members, or it could mean all three having sex with each other.  The triad could decide it would be cheating for there to be sex outside of the triad.  Cheating is worse in polyamorous relationships because more than one person is betrayed.  

There could be relationships outside of the triad if all members agreed on the particular person and if the outside person was aware of the relationships within the triad.

Individuals can also be polyamorous.  

So isn't this all some sexist, misogynistic, male dominant, polygamist thing like that HBO show Big Love?

No, polygamy and polyamory are very different.  Polygamy involves one man married to many women.  Polyamory is not about marriage but about relationships (since group marriage is not legal).  The genders are egalitarian, and there is no one way to practice polyamory.  It could even be one woman with many partners.

Abstract artwork by Harmony!

Some people find polyamory so strange that it is easier for them to condone cheating than polyamory.  Which do you think is a better alternative?

There are many benefits to polyamory:

One can gain greater perspective, and there are more sources of support.  Also, it’s a wonderful way to add variety in your sex life!

There’s a downside:

It’s more complicated.  You need to be a good communicator on a personal level.  It’s harder for a group to come to a consensus than for just two people.

So, maybe this could actually work.  How do I get started?

There is a support group in Honolulu, which meets the second and fourth Thursdays, at 7:00 pm, at the First Unitarian Church, located at 2500 Pali Highway.  The group is called Pali-Paths.  Get the play on words?  This is not a place where you should expect to pick up a partner, but rather the group meets to discuss and offer advice on how to deal with various issues such as jealousy.  

In polyamory, there is a word, compersion, which is the opposite of jealousy.  It means feeling happy for your partner when she or he finds a new lover.  

There are many other online resources for information about polyamory, and for activities and supports groups in other parts of the country.

Harmony out demonstrating another
subject she feels passionate about!  

Editor's note, Dakinetalk guest bloggers do not necessarily represent the opinions of dakinetalk. Guest bloggers are given space to express their beliefs and or opinions. We feel there are many roads and like to give people space to express their thoughts,after-all that's what dakine is...Aloha, James "Kimo" Rosen, Publisher.

P.S. 

There is a series on Showtime called 'Polyamory' all about this subject.  Check out the website below for free episodes and more;

http://www.sho.com/sho/polyamory-married-and-dating/home

Hana Hou, (Encore) Shared From Facebook

"The Aloha Vet,Now Imagine an Aloha MD..." 'James "Kimo" Rosen' (Kimo's world #68)

James "Kimo" Rosen is a retired Professional photographer

 and publisher. Rosen lives on the  beautiful Garden Island of Kaua'i 

with his best friend Obama Da Dog. 

Rosen also posts the Sunrise daily on his Facebook Timeline.

This blog also appeared as a guest column in the Kaua'i
Garden Island Newspaper on 04-29-15
http://thegardenisland.com/news/opinion/guest/the-aloha-vet-now-imagine-an-aloha-md/article_705c9cda-96f7-5876-b6a9-a8d97e7451cd.html

 Kimo's world,#68    

The Aloha Vet,Now Imagine an Aloha MD   

 Dr. Scott Sims AKA The Aloha Vet tending to patients...
All photos of Scott Sims courtesy of  Nat Geo WILD.

Look out Dog Whisperer and Cesar 911. In my opinion there is now a new number one TV show on Nat Geo wild!  The show features Kaua'i veterinarian Scott Sims in his own reality TV show called the 'Aloha Vet.'

All photos of Dr. Scott Sims
courtesy of  Nat Geo WILD. 

Scott is followed by a team of cinematographers doing his daily routine without shoes. He is known as  the  barefoot vet to many and even as Dr. Dolittle to others.

Dr. Sims or as many call him Dr. Scott does it all.  He  operates on cancerous tumors,  castrates goats,reconstructs bladders, pulls horses teeth,operates on pig eyes right where they sleep, gives mouth to mouth to chickens and  also acts as the anesthesiologist to knock out the animals when they seem really hurt and need surgery

Scott fly's to Molokai, Maui , Oahu and Hawaii's Big Island on the show in an airplane he constructed from a kit to see patients and even operate in the middle of the night on his birthday.   Dr. Scott even clears and  mows his own runway before taking off.

 Above photo of Dr. Scott Sims on horseback
courtesy of Nat Geo WILD. 

 Now imagine an Aloha M.D.? Your primary care physician doing  for you what Dr.Sims does for animals.  He's the radiologist, anesthesiologist, neurosurgeon, heart specialist, oncologist, dentist, eye doctor, proctologist and every other specialist in the books.  

Seeing  Dr. Sims having fun making a prosthetic device for a dog was  poetic genius! Along with his book smarts, streets smarts and genius, all other vets seem to pale in comparison... Not only a great show but  a great man of passion in his field!

Imagine  a house call from your doctor and he decides to operate on the spot after X-raying and giving you an ultrasound right on the spot. 

Nobody ever says my doctor's the worst, everyone always says my doctor's the best, however we all know some doctor must had graduated at the bottom of his class and just got by, it's the same for Veterinarians.   However Scott Sims really is the best.

 Dr. Scott Sims swimming with sharks
courtesy of  Nat Geo WILD. 

Scott says it's all out of love and passion. When Dr. Sims works on an animal that has little chance of survival and then survives it gives him what he calls  "The warm fuzzies."I am guessing this is where the term, "Lucky Dog" comes into play!

There is a popular meme on Scott's Facebook that says it all, "People ask what I do for vacation?" Scott replies, "I live it everyday.

I feel there is much for the medical profession to learn from Veterinarian science. A phrase that comes to mind is; "They shoot horses don't they?" Putting an animal out when there is no cure to what they have and to avoid suffering is the humane thing to do. I only wish the human medical profession was as
compassionate.

Mahalo to Dr. Sims  and his assistant's Dia and Ella for being there  for Kaua'i. Now the rest of the world knows the meaning 'Aloha.' One of the many reasons, "lucky we live Kauai."

 Does anyone else besides me  get the warm fuzzies watching the show?Not only do I get the warm fuzzies, but to say the least, a star is born! 

Above photo of  Dr. Scott Sims
(Notice the bare feet!) 
courtesy of  Nat Geo WILD. 

This meme was used on Facebook to promote this blog.
Photo courtesy of Nat Geo Wild.

The above meme was used on 
Social media one day before posting
this blog.
Photo courtesy of Nat Geo Wild.

This blog also appeared as a guest column in the Kaua'i

Garden Island Newspaper on 04-29-15

http://thegardenisland.com/news/opinion/guest/the-aloha-vet-now-imagine-an-aloha-md/article_705c9cda-96f7-5876-b6a9-a8d97e7451cd.html

Updated, June 5, 2015,

The Garden Island Newspaper​ staff writer Brittany Lyte wrote a heartfelt and tear jerking article on one of  the most loved persons on Kauai, Dr  Scott Sims Aloha Vet​.  The Good news is that reality show 'The Aloha Vet' has been renewed for a second season, the other not so great news is that  Dr. Scott  has been diagnosed with what may be a fatal cancer. Everyone please  pray and send healing thoughts... Please read;
http://thegardenisland.com/news/local/i-ve-had-a-fantastic-life/article_0a9dfae7-bbcd-5fa2-94ef-855d5c46eb46.html


P.S.
Check out the YouTube promo of the Aloha vet;
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NckL5sS0Tc0

Check out Dr. Sims along with his assistant  Dia and the baby bull
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uFz6GFyRqys

P.S.S,
 You can watch full episodes of this amazing TV show by logging onto the enclosed link below;
http://channel.nationalgeographic.com/wild/aloha-vet/

Hana Hou, (Encore) Shared From Facebook...

"We shall never forget the Holocaust" 'Judith Whitehead' (Inspiration Sunday)

Judith Whitehead lives in Amherst New York.

 and has worked in the ophthalmology
 field of medicine for over 30 years

We shall never forget the Holocaust

 This past week an important movie was released based on true stories, “Woman in Gold”.  The main characters were Helen Mirren  and Ryan Reynolds.   

We went to view the movie with family and friends and coincidentally this week was  the National Remembrance week for all the Holocaust survivors and for those who perished  so many years ago.  

Yom Hashoah  was observed all over the world this week and the movie brought home what events happened to the people in Europe when the Germans started to take over the Jewish population.  All of their belongings, including famous artwork  was confiscated by the Germans in Austria and the population of Jews were led off to the concentration camps. 
A Must see heartfelt  short 2 minute YouTube of this past Yom Hashoah in Israel' (Everything stops!)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=guvGPIxa0hI
The woman,  Mrs. Altman that Helen Mirran played and her husband living in Austria escaped the Germans one night before  the family home was taken  over.  The family home and the rest of the people living there including her parents were taken away.   Ryan Reynolds played a young lawyer who went to the ends of the earth to reclaim the artwork that was worth millions, especially the painting made by an artist of her sister that was made of gold.

Through the red tape that took years to unravel, it finally came to be and the artwork was brought to NYC to be enjoyed by all.  A large sum of money was given to Helen Mirran, Mrs Altman for her donation.  Today the real person whom the movie portrayed lived to the age of 94 and just recently passed  away.

This movie was a good way to once again help those that need to remember what happened to a race of people during the 1940’s.  All of the survivors are getting very old and one by one we are losing them.

The Altman’s  who were the family that recovered the paintings along with Mr. Schoenberg  used some of the money to fund the new Holocaust  museum in L.A. that we had the privilege of visiting this summer.   He not only donated 7 million to start the museum, he is active in its operation today.

This movie should be viewed by everyone as it shows man’s inhumanity to man  and  what could actually happen again with anti-Semitism rising in our country as well as others. 

We shall never forget what happened to our ancestor’s  70 years ago. 
P.S.
Check out the YouTube movie trailer of 'Woman in Gold';
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=geJeX6iIlO0

A Must see heartfelt  short 2 minute YouTube of this past Yom Hashoah in Israel' (Everything stops!)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=guvGPIxa0hI

Sunrise therapy can be seen daily on 

James "Kimo" Rosen's
Facebook Timeline. 

Hana Hou, (Encore) Shared From Facebook...

"Surgery..." 'Robert Bitos Gandia' (Source)

Guest-blogger,Robert Bitos Gandia
.Robert is an avid cook (ono gandule rice) and always laughing!!
Robert lives in Kekaha on Kauai's west-side and loves football!!

Surgery

 An elderly man was on the operation table awaiting a very life threatening complicated surgery on him and he insisted that his son-in-law, a renowned surgeon, perform the operation.

As he was about to get the anesthesia, he spoke to his son-in-law.
'Yes, Dad, What is it?'

'Don't be nervous son; do your best and just remember, if it doesn't go well and something happens to me, your mother-in-law will come and live with you'

The Surgery was a great success." ;-)

Sunrise therapy can be seen daily on 

James "Kimo" Rosen's
Facebook Timeline. 

Hana Hou, Encore) Shared From Facebook

"Belief..." 'Bettejo Dux' (Vintage Bettejo)

Bettejo Dux has lived on the cosmic Garden Island
 of Kaua'i for over 40 years. Bettejo is a regular opinion 

writer in the Garden Island news and is the author of the

famed novella, "The Scam."  Her latest fiction

 "Children of Extinction" is now  released
 and available on Amazon!

www.bettejodux.com

www.amazon.com

 Belief

Belief (bi-lef') Something believed or accepted as true, especially a tenet or body of tenets accepted by a group. According to some, the more people who believe something the more likely it is to be true. In other words, if everybody in the world-but thee and me- believed the moon was made of green cheese, the moon would be made of green cheese.

Believe (bi-liv')  on the other hand is a verb. To have firm faith, especially religious faith.

Essentially, I think, a belief is something that isn't true. If it were true, it wouldn't be a belief. One doesn't believe 2+2=4. One knows 2+2=4. One doesn't believe the sun rises in the East and sets in the West. It does.

A religious belief, I think, is one of the most pernicious mind sets anyone can have. No child is born with a religious belief, it is imposed on him.  A kid is taught the religious belief he learns at his mother's knees is the true belief. The only belief. Everything else is false. This belief is enforced by a father figure, a congregation, a speaker for the congregation-priest, pastor, minister, whoever-and immediately a conflict is ingrained. Intolerance is imposed. Superiority or inferiority. Further,  religious beliefs are always laced with myths- strange ideas and stories- no one not indoctrinated at an early age could possibly believe. Virgin births, talking snakes, original sin, a superior being- today almost always a father figure- reigning supreme, judgmental, critical, authoritarian. Also, in the Christian religion, there is a book, the Bible-the New Testament, the Old Testament-the words in which, according to many who wield power, are absolute truths. Command and obey.

"Thou shalt not consent unto him, nor hearken unto him, neither shall thine eyes pity him, neither shall thou spare, neither shall thou conceal him: But thou shall surely kill him; thine hand shall be first upon him to put him to death and afterwards the hand of all the people." (Deuteronomy 13:8-9)

These words  justify, to a fundamentalist believer, the killing of friends or family simply because they fail to change their beliefs.

Modern day Christians, introduced to Jesus Christ, a peaceful, loving man of god, son of god, was sent  to earth to die for our sins and one is seduced into this belief system by the offer of peace and love. However, Jesus isn't god. He's the son of god. Which god? Zeus? No. The god of the Old Testament.  The god who spoke the words of Deuteronomy 13:8-9 and this god is hauled out anytime the leader of the group finds an enemy he chooses to kill.

Also, Jesus had a thing against those who make his Father's house a house of merchandise.

Someone should clue him in. Today religion in America is Big Business. It's all about money.

There are four gods. The distant god. The benevolent god. The critical god and the authoritarian god.

Many of us would worship a benevolent god if we could find one.

To be be continued....

Editor's note, Dakinetalk guest bloggers do not necessarily represent the opinions of dakinetalk. Guest bloggers are given space to express their beliefs and or opinions. We feel there are many roads and like to give people space to express their thoughts,after-all that's what dakine is...Aloha, James "Kimo" Rosen, Publisher

Sunrise therapy can be seen daily on
James "Kimo" Rosen's
Facebook Timeline.

Hana Hou, (Encore) Shared from Facebook...

"Mauna Kea and the world's largest telescope..." 'Kimo's world #67' (Please comment!)

James "Kimo" Rosen is a retired Professional photographer
 and publisher. Rosen lives on the  beautiful Garden Island of Kaua'i 
with his best friend Obama Da Dog. 
Rosen also posts the Sunrise daily on his Facebook Timeline.

This blog also appeared as a opinion article in the 04-14-15 edition of The garden Island Newspaper;

http://thegardenisland.com/news/opinion/mailbag/letters-for-april/article_77cca1e6-e26f-11e4-a430-7fb3eefa3371.html

 Kimo's world,#67

Mauna Kea and the world's largest telescope


The land in Hawaii is all sacred. How do we as society ages decide which land is more sacred?

The roads in Wailua near the bridge are all sacred, does this mean we should not drive there? Imagine no traffic, that would be nice, but not a reality.

This meme was used on
Social media to promote this blog.
The title was changed to
Mauna Kea and the world's largest telescope.

Political activists and many people not only in Hawaii but all over the world have been holding vigils and demonstrations objecting to what authorities are calling the world's largest telescope to ever be  erected on top of the 13,796 ft Mauna Kea mountain on Hawaii's Big island.

 The protesters believe the mountain is sacred and that the 180 foot telescope threatens sacred shrines, burials and the islands water supply?  

This is  somewhat paradoxical  since the mountain already hosts 13 other telescopes. Activists are saying that 14 was just the breaking point .

Scientists say,"the location is ideal because of its dark skies, good astronomical seeing, low humidity and position above most of the water vapor in the atmosphere, clean air, good weather and almost equatorial location."

Right when you think there is no more our islands can say no to, a thirty meter telescope comes into play.

No ferries, no dairies, no GMO's, no gluten, no plastic bags, no new roads, no Walmart super center, no smart meters, no barbecues and now the icing on the cake, no telescopes.

You know what's so ironic about the TMT (Thirty Meter Telescope) protests? It's being broadcast and shared around the world via social media and broadcast news in part to the research gathered by high tech telescopes!

Stay tuned to what's next on the list of A’ole,(NO!)

My dream is no traffic, no hurricanes and no more racism. 

This blog also appeared as a opinion article in the 04-14-15 edition of The garden Island Newspaper;
http://thegardenisland.com/news/opinion/mailbag/letters-for-april/article_77cca1e6-e26f-11e4-a430-7fb3eefa3371.html

This meme was used on Facebook  to
promote this blog!  ;-)

Check out a great blog on the same subject form the Farmers daughter (Joni Kamiya Rose)
"Hawaii is Not the A’ole State”
http://hawaiifarmersdaughter.com/2015/04/09/hawaii-is-not-the-aole-state/?hc_location=ufi

Read what the Huffington Post has to say!
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/04/07/thirty-meter-telescope-construction-paused_n_7021268.html

A NATIVE HAWAIIAN ASTROPHYSICIST'S MANA‘O ON THE 30 METER TELESCOPE
http://www.welivemana.com/articles/native-hawaiian-astrophysicists-mana%E2%80%98o-thirty-meter-telescope

KHON news in Honolulu has some great coverage too;
http://khon2.com/2015/04/08/debate-over-planned-telescope-project-on-mauna-kea-goes-national-

2/
Hawaii News Now, UH system wide walkout planned;
http://www.hawaiinewsnow.com/story/28788432/uh-system-wide-walkout-planned-in-protest-of-thirty-meter-telescope-project

KHON, The latest news as of 04-13-15-UH says TMT will be last project, plans to decommission telescopes
http://khon2.com/2015/04/13/uh-says-tmt-will-be-last-project-plans-to-decommission-telescopes/

Sunrise therapy can be seen daily on
James "Kimo" Rosen's
Facebook Timeline.

Hana Hou, (Encore) Shared From Facebook...

"Be tolerant of those in the service industry..." 'Judith Whitehead' (Inspiration Sunday)

Judith Whitehead lives in Amherst New York.

 and has worked in the ophthalmology
 field of medicine for over 30 years

Be tolerant of those in the service industry

It's amazing how rude people can be...

We frequent Parana's chain of breakfast and salads and quick service during the week where you order at a counter and they call you when your food is done.  The little sweet woman at the front counter repeatedly tells me how rude the customers can be; they are demanding, short tempered and talk to her as if she were their servant.  

There are many jobs that serve the people, even in the medical field we have to put up with rude demanding people all day long... asking such questions such as "how much longer will I have to wait" after it had only been 10 minutes.  Or, even though you don't take my insurance, you should see me anyway for free.  They argue about the waiting room seating, too noisy, too hot or cold...there always seems a reason for people to complain.  

People....look around, nothing is perfect, everyone deserves respect whether they are a service worker or medical workers.  They are giving you their time and effort every day; why not make it easier on them and just go along and get along.  We are here to serve you and will give you a smile if you will be tolerant because we are pushed to the edge every day waiting on you. 

A smile goes a very long way...and can turn an entire day around for workers.  ;-)

Sunrise therapy can be seen daily on 

James "Kimo" Rosen's
Facebook Timeline. 

Hana Hou, (Encore) Shared from Facebook...