Isn't Kauai awesome! Fiction are non-fiction?

(editors note, the enclosed  piece is  my attempt at local fictional humor, this is a parody on many local events and laws...)

Barking dogs on ancient Hawaiian burial grounds awaiting the arrival of the super-ferry ...

The flood flights are on so the super-ferry can see where they're going as shear-water seabirds take their final kamikaze dive into the lights.

We disembark from the super-ferry and make a call from our car and get arrested for talking on our cell phones while driving as we find out our children are in juvie for playing cops and robbers with their toy guns.

We are now in the back of the patrol car on route to the police station and the officer gives us two more tickets, one for not wearing my seat-belt and another for smoking. I put my garbage in a plastic bag and get another ticket, since plastic bags have become illegal in "PARADISE" too...

My girl-friend looks at me and says she is glad the gays now have civil unions and hopes to get home soon and smoke some medical marijuana and tell me she's gay.

To relax we decide to go Larson's beach and lay out in our birthday suits and disturb nobody, as we hear a man in the distance yelling, "HAOLE'S GO HOME!" . Isn't Kaua'i awesome!