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Wednesday, August 3, 2011

" The Next President..." 'Marvin Gross' (Facetious Thursday's)

Our guest blogger for this 'Facetious Thursdays' is my brother-in-law 'Marvin Gross,' he is a Financial adviser who lives in the suburbs of Western N.Y.
Migrant workers tending the garden... Not really, that's Yoshi and Kimo enjoying their hobby of gardening...


'My Fellow Americans: As you all know, the defeat of the Iraq regime has been completed.Since Congress does not want to spend any more money on this war, our mission in Iraq is complete.

This morning I gave the order for a complete removal of all American forces from Iraq . This action will be complete within 30 days. It is now time to begin the reckoning.

Before me, I have two lists. One list contains the names of countries which have stood by our side during the Iraq conflict. This list is short. The United Kingdom , Spain , Bulgaria , Australia , and Poland are some of the countries listed there.

The other list contains every one not on the first list. Most of the world's nations are on that list. My press secretary will be distributing copies of both lists later this evening.

Let me start by saying that effective immediately, foreign aid to those nations on List 2 ceases indefinitely. The money saved during the first year alone will pretty much pay for the costs of the Iraqi war.


The American people are no longer going to pour money into third world Hell holes and watch those government leaders grow fat on corruption.

Need help with a famine? Wrestling with an epidemic? Call France ...

In the future, together with Congress, I will work to redirect this money toward solving the vexing social  problems we still have at home. On that note, a word to terrorist organizations. Screw with us and we will hunt you down and eliminate you and all your friends from the face of the earth.

Thirsting for a gutsy country to terrorize? Try France or maybe China .

I am ordering the immediate severing of diplomatic relations with France , and Russia . Thanks for all your help, comrades. We are retiring from NATO as well.

I have instructed the Mayor of New York City to begin towing the many UN diplomatic vehicles located in Manhattan with more than two unpaid parking tickets to sites where those vehicles will be stripped, shredded and crushed. I don't care ab out whatever treaty pertains to this. You creeps have tens of thousands of unpaid tickets.. Pay those tickets tomorrow or watch your precious Benzes, Beamers and limos be turned over to some of the finest chop shops in the world. I love New York.

A special note to our neighbors: Canada is on List 2. Since we are likely to be seeing a lot more of each other, you folks might want to try not ticking us off for a change.

Mexico is also on List 2. Its president and his entire corrupt government really need an attitude adjustment.

I will have a couple thousand extra tanks and infantry divisions sitting around. Guess where I am going to
put 'em? Yep, border security.Oh, by the way, the United States is abrogating the NAFTA treaty - starting now.

We are tired of the one-way highway. Immediately, we'll be drilling for oil in Alaska -which will take care of this country's oil needs for decades to come. If you're an environmentalist who opposes this decision, I refer you to List 2 above: pick a country and move there.

It is time for America to focus on its own welfare and its own citizens. Some will accuse us of isolationism. I answer them by saying, 'darn tootin.'

Nearly a century of trying to help folks live a decent life around the world has only earned us the undying enmity of just about everyone on the planet. It is time to eliminate hunger in America . It is time to eliminate homelessness in America .

To the nations on List 1.a final thought. Thank you guys. We owe you and we won't forget.

To the nations on List 2, a final thought: You might want to learn to speak Arabic.

God bless America ..!

Let's get this to every USA computer!)

Re-elect Nobody!


Anonymous said...

via facebook;"Judith Whitehead and Daverlene Richards like this."

Douglas Dunn said...

via Facebook;" I would like to respectfully dissent, and speak up in support of this nation’s longest-standing and truest allies, the French.

FRANCE was our 1st ally, that made possible our Revolution.
FRANCE was our ally in World War I.
FRANCE was our ally ...in World War II.
FRANCE was our ally in Indochina (that became Vietnam).
FRANCE was our ally in the First Gulf War.
FRANCE is and has been our ally in Afghanistan (and as of 2011 still has 3,500 troops there with us today).

Yes, it is true that they refused to follow blindly as Bush lied us into a war of aggression in Iraq.
But the bottom line is that, in Iraq, THE FRENCH WERE RIGHT.

Now pass those Freedom Fries...."

James "Kimo" Rosen said...

Doug, I totally agree, These blogs are to initiate thought and I am happy since more and more people are leaving comments, they say only 1% of people who read leave comments and or press the like button.I appreciate all your input and hope yop continue to comment on a regualkar basis. note, If the blogs are writeen by me or my dog they are my opinion, guest blogs are the opinions of the guest blogger and do not neccessarily reflect those of the gut who publishes the blog. Looking forward to your blog and your guest blog, your proposal is actually a good prelude into your blog to come, if you want I can run your proposal as a blog. Send me a photo of yourself with a short bio, so ican introduce you to the readers.

Harmony said...

via Facebook;Harmony wrote: "I have to disagree with the part where the writer tells environmentalists who don't believe we should drill in Alaska to move to a hostile country. The beauty of our country is we can agree to disagree & all live here in peace."

Douglas Dunn said...

via Facebook;"I agree, Harmony. We can seek clean energy sources that don't depend on destroying the pristine beauty of our shared environment (shared among those of our species as well as other creatures on this fragile blue planet)."