|Judith Whitehead lives in Amherst New York|
( A suburb of Buffalo, N.Y.)
and has worked in the ophthalmology
field of medicine for over 30 years
|Judy and Steve, still together|
after 41 years! Mazol Tov!
My husband and I just celebrated 41 years of marriage; today I am afraid many couples won't last that long.
People told us back in the 1970's that a young couple as we were, barely 20 yrs old, would not stay married. True, living was much more affordable in the un-electronic age, but it was still bringing two
personalities that were barely formed just leaving teen hood together to compromise and blend.
I am not saying we did not have our differences but we managed to make a big effort to make it work. It was an effort worth doing.
Today many couples find it too hard to compromise and to make the effort to make marriage last.
My husband and I do not agree on everything and probably never will but there needs to be a policy where people agree to disagree in marriage. We are different in many ways but do share the same
values and see many things alike. Bringing two people raised in different families together need to mold together and make their own family values.
We have had many trials and tribulations placed before us. We have been financially up and down over the years which can break people apart but we chose to take the long haul and made it work out.
Children also place a burden on a marriage – lets face it raising kids to be responsible adults takes a lot of effort and work and parents don't always agree on decisions to be made. Raising our children was probably the most important job we have had; what and how we did it will have an impact on the rest of their lives.
|No caption necessary! ;-)|
Working in the social sciences I have seen what an unstable home life can bring to a child who grows up physically to be an adult and it is not always a pretty sight.
There has to be enough glue between two people to withstand those ups and downs people encumber during their married lives. No one knows what goes on behind closed doors and in some cases it is not all smiles.
My husband and I actually grew up together; marrying at ages 19 and 21, we had a lot of things to learn about life and had quite a struggle to support ourselves. My husband still had two years of college to finish his degree. Our rent was $179.00 a month for a two bedroom apartment and we shared one car between our jobs. That went on for several years until we had some fallback to support ourselves; no unnecessary purchases and simple living made it work out.
Today our young people are living in an age of entitlement and feel they don't want to or can't wait to make it work. Many bail on jobs and marriages because they have little patience for both if roadblocks are put in their way.
Keep in mind young couples of today; if you know and love each other and want to make an effort to stay together for better or worse, make the effort. There is great comfort in growing and sharing your life together – a companion forever is not such a bad thing.
|"Judy, Judy, Judy!"|
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