"Sorry, I Gotta Go..!" 'Michael A. Herr (Aloha Friday)

Renowned author Michael Herr is back guest-blogging on this awesome Aloha Friday talking about  mother nature and the need to go!  Make sure and check out Michael's website at; http://www.michaelherr.com/

ALOHA FRIDAY-"No Work 'Til Monday" 

Sorry, I gotta go!

Aloha folks.

I have an obsession with toilets. I always need to know where the nearest one is. When we go to a museum or art gallery or a shopping mall, I try to find a map of the place first. So that I can locate the toilets.

I think my obsession began when I was about five or six years old. My mother and I were taking a walk through the neighborhood, when she stopped, as she often did, to gossip with a neighbor whose house was about three houses away from ours. And she talked. And she talked. And she talked.

I got more and more restless and finally realized why. I needed to use the toilet. I started shifting from one foot to another. I started shuffling around in little circles. I began tugging on my mother's sleeve or her skirt. I started making soft little noises. Not a clue. Finally I started whining, "Mom. Mom! Gotta go! I gotta go!"
"Just a minute came her response," and she continued talking.
Finally, with tears beginning to run down my cheeks, she exasperatedly gave up on her conversation and, holding my hand, let me drag her toward our house.

Never made it. About halfway there my bladder let loose. Which wouldn't have been all that bad . . . except for the fact that I was wearing corduroy pants, with vertical ridges. Wet corduroy pants make a horrible smacking sound was you try to walk in them. And they stick to your inner thighs. I was chafed within minutes. When my mother noticed she was angry that I "couldn't just hold it another minute".

A sidelight . . . I have noticed over the years that women can hold it for hours and hours, maybe even days. Men . . . much less so.
Anyhow, from that day on I always made it a point to keep track of the nearest toilet . . . and to use that toilet even if I didn't really feel a desperate urge. In fact, I still make it a point not to get to that stage where I have a 'desperate urge'.

Another sidelight . . . because of this experience, now many years later I am a one-eyed flier. When I get on an airplane I observe everything through one eye, while with the other eye I constantly watch the toilet on the aircraft. Particularly I watch that small lighted sign that says either "Occupied" or "Vacant".
When the toilet on the aircraft that I'm on is "Vacant", it won't be for long.

So folks, here I come. Sorry, but I gotta go.
See you next week.

Hana Hou, (Encore) Shared from Facebook...



check out Michael's website at http://www.michaelherr.com/ 

The opinions, beliefs and viewpoints expressed by the various authors and forum participants on this blog site do not necessarily reflect the opinions, beliefs and viewpoints of the Publisher of Dakinetalk the blog, but they could

"The Real Heaven..."(A Yom Kippur Blog) 'Chester "Unc" Lau (Source)



Master Sgt. Chester Lau, aka "Unc" is a retired cinematographer 
living his naturist  twilight years on the island of Oahu.
"Unc" shares a lesson about heaven and   mans best friend on
this holy and spiritual day of Yom Kippur, an appropriate blog
for such a spiritual day!  Enjoy...  ;D)

 A man and his dog were walking along a road. The man was enjoying the scenery, when it suddenly occurred to him that he was dead.
   
     He remembered dying, and that the dog walking beside him had been dead  for years.. He wondered where the road was leading them.
     After a while, they came to a high, white stone wall along one side of the road. It looked like fine marble. At the top of a long hill, it was broken by a tall arch that glowed in the sunlight.
   
     When he was standing before it he saw a magnificent gate in the arch that looked like mother-of-pearl, and the street that led to the gate looked like pure gold.
     He and the dog walked toward the gate, and as he got closer, he saw a man at a desk to one side. When he was close enough, he called out, 'Excuse me, where are we?'
   
     'This is Heaven, sir,' the man answered 'Wow! Would you happen to have some water?' the man asked. Of course, sir.
     Come right in, and I'll have some ice water brought right up. 'The man gestured, and the gate began to open.
   
     'Can my friend,' gesturing toward his dog, 'come in, too?' the traveller asked.
   
     'I'm sorry, sir, but we don't accept pets.'
   
    The man thought a moment and then turned back toward the road and continued the way he had been going with his dog.
     After another long walk, and at the top of another long hill, he came to a dirt road leading through a farm gate that looked as if it had never been closed. There was no fence.
   
     As he approached the gate, he saw a man inside, leaning against a tree and reading a book.
     'Excuse me!' he called to the man. 'Do you have any water?'
     'Yeah, sure, there's a pump over there, come on in.'
     'How about my friend here?' the traveller gestured to the dog.
   
     'There should be a bowl by the pump.'
     They went through the gate, and sure enough, there was an old-fashioned hand pump with a bowl beside it..
   
     The traveller filled the water bowl and took a long drink himself, then he gave some to the dog.
   
     When they were full, he and the dog walked back toward the man who was standing by the tree.
     'What do you call this place?' the traveller asked..
   
     'This is Heaven,' he answered.
     'Well, that's confusing,' the traveller said.. 'The man down the road said that was Heaven, too.'
   
     'Oh, you mean the place with the gold street and pearly gates? Nope. That's hell.'

     'Doesn't it make you mad for them to use your name like that?'
   
     'No, we're just happy that they screen out the folks who would leave their best friends behind.'

          Soooo...
   
     Sometimes, we wonder why friends keep forwarding jokes or posting them in their blogs without writing a word.  Maybe this will explain.
   
     When you are very busy, but still want to keep in touch, guess what you do? You forward jokes.
   
     When you have nothing to say, but still want to keep contact, you forward jokes.
   
     When you have something to say, but don't know what, and don't know how, you forward jokes.
   
     Also to let you know that you are still remembered, you are still important, you are still loved, you are still cared for, guess what you get?
   
     A forwarded joke.
   
     So, next time if you get a joke, don't think that you've been sent just another forwarded joke, but that you've been thought of today and your friend on the other end of your computer wanted to send you a smile..
   
    You are welcome @ my water bowl anytime!  Chester "Unc" Lau

Unc, also wants to share this amazing Youtube of a guy flying in a wing suit over New Zealand, Amazing!
Youtube- (Alexander Polli, Tracksuit, Wingsuit Flying: Reality Of Human Flight, this is amazing, please watch!) Chester "Unc" Lau, Source
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RsV3bGPMTXo

Hana Hou, (Encore) Shared from Facebook...

"The Carrot song..." 'Bettejo Dux' (Classic Wednesday)

Guest-blogger Bettejo Dux is one of Kauai's most delightful  people, she has lived on the cosmic island of Kaua'i for over 40 years... She is an animal lover, people lover and enjoys life to the fullest.
Today she talks about our animal friends...      
 www.bettejodux.com

THE CARROT SONG

This goes along with the theory that we are all products of our past. My relationship with animals has been long and very special. I have vivid memories of my first pets, a black dog named Lady and a cat named Helen. Helen loved to curl up in a glass light fixture on the ceiling and once I dropped her in the flour bin. Remember flour bins? My mother’s face when a floured white animal jumped out of the container  when she opened it is one I’ll never forget.

My father raised exotic poultry, I was not allowed to play with these. He kept them in big beautiful cages which always fascinated a wide-eyed kid. These were not song birds. They crowed and clucked and peeped. Once my father cut the head off a rooster  and warm red blood spurted. I watched it run around with its head chopped off and thought it an interesting phenomenon. I can’t remember his name but, roasted, he made a tasty dish.

As a young adult with four little kids visiting my father’s farm was always an interesting experience for me and the kids. He raised exotic birds, African Greys, peafowl, macaws and, once, a pair of turkeys named Arabella and Rudolph. Arabella was always an invited guest who joined us on his spacious deck in the evenings after dinner.  She would lie under my mother’s chaise and purr like a cat. Rudolph ended up on a savoury platter  one  Thanksgiving. He had a habit of always attacking my mother. She wasn't much bigger than he was so we decided  love not hate motivated him.  Either way my poor mother couldn't stroll the garden without carrying a stick and checking behind every tall bush.

One day she put down the law. “Either he goes. Or I go,” she said and I think she had Arabella on her side. Neither the kids nor I could watch that head chop and at the dinner table the kids pled in snuffy voices, “Please pass some more Rudolph.”  He dressed out at 22 pounds. Best tasting turkey I ever ate.

My father also had a cat who ‘raised’ mice. She kept them in a feed bin in the storage house. Fat and healthy little critters, she would select one, pick it up like a mother cat picks up a fragile kitten, take one in the grass,  play with it ,and then put it back. It seemed a happy arrangement.

The most interesting animals, I always thought, were the  American Show Shetlands. They lived in the Pony House. My oldest daughter drove them in Fine Harness in  many Honolulu Horse Shows. Flash the Grand National Champion stud lived to be 41, a ripe old age. He had a good life. He’s buried here with my Leopard Appaloosa, Beauregard,  which get us finally to the Carrot Song part of this animal digression.

My father taught me never to chase boys or horses. I didn't have to worry about the boys, boys chased me. But he taught me the carrot song. “Who wants a carrot? Who wants a carrot?” Which I sang in a low sexy, whispery voice. No matter how far away, they heard me. They always came. it never failed.

Hana Hou, (Encore)  Shared from Facebook...

Bettejo  also  publishes her own blog column.
You can check it out at ;  http://www.bettejo.wordpress.com .   Besides her blog she recently published and authored the humorous fiction book, "The Scam," check it out at(www.bettejodux.com) or  on Amazon.

http://www.bettejodux.com/

"Are You Better Off Today..?" 'Douglas Dunn'

Guest blogger Douglas Dunn  is a regular commenter and guest-blogger on dakinetalk... Doug runs a small publishing consulting business in San Diego county and is a  certified American sign language (ASL) interpreter (for Deaf people),  last but not least he has been a Democratic Party media spokesperson and has had  the good fortune to work with Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama. Doug also drives a Nissan Leaf !
Doug purchased a Nissan Leaf electric car last year doing his part to help save the planet along with
saving quite a few dollars by never ever having to purchase gas.

Doug with President Obama back in
2007 at the California Democratic Convention

Are you better off today than you were on January 20, 2009?

• If you have stocks, bonds IRAs or a 401(k) ---- you are better off.
• If you were laid off, but have one of the 4 million jobs created to replace the Bush job losses ---- you are better off.
• If you have a child with pre-existing conditions ---- you are better off.
• If you had nothing to do with the decision to come here, to the only country you have ever known, as an infant ---- you are better off.
• If you were going to be redeployed to Iraq ---- you are better off.
• If you work in any business related to the automotive industry ---- you are better off.
• If you are a woman who wants equal pay for equal work and the right to control your own medical choices ---- you are better off.

The job is not finished and much work remains ahead, but we, as a nation, are better off than we were four years ago.
However, if you are Osama bin Laden or a terrorist or Somali pirate, then no, you are not better off.

This blog recently appeared an an opinion article in the "North County Times," serving N. San Diego, and S. Riverside counties...
http://www.nctimes.com/news/opinion/letters/are-you-better-off-today/article_eadaa114-e317-5bf1-b9ab-49f722feb6ad.html

Hana Hou, (Encore)  Shared from Facebook...

Hana Hou #2 the Mission Impossible Squirrel! Check it out, it's pretty cool! ;D)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DsuVLsDyln4 

" Women & Heart Attacks..." 'Judith Whitehead' (Inspiration Monday)

"Guest-blogger Judith Whitehead lives in Amherst N.Y. and has worked in the ophthalmology field of medicine for over 30 years..." Today she talks about  some warning signs of heart of attack that  everyone needs to be aware of! ;D) Enjoy...

WOMEN AND HEART ATTACKS

Recently my husband and myself  were out at our favorite breakfast spot on Thursday morning when our waitress who we know fairly well did not look well. We asked her what the problem was and she told us about neck pain, back pain and jaw pain. Instantly we told her she may be having a heart event and needed to be seen right away.

Not more than 10 minutes later, she was on the floor in pain. Luckily the cook was her husband and called 911 immediately.

 Women don’t present with the same symptoms for heart attack as men do. A shout out to all women out there…if you are having neck pain, jaw pain, back pain head pain or chest pain…don’t wait. Take care of it.

 This woman was lucky; she made it to the ER just in time to have her heart attack and was having heart surgery only 2 hrs later. One of her arteries were totally blocked. She was one of the lucky ones; let’s take care of ourselves ladies.

Hana Hou, (Encore)  Shared from Facebook...

"Ralph and Edna..." 'Obama Da Dog' (Source)

 This is a beautiful story of love.   Please read and share with your friends...  Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have. Ralph and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool , Ralph suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there. Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled him out. When the Head Nurse Director became aware of Edna's heroic act she immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as she now considered her to be mentally stable. When she went to tell Edna the news she said, 'Edna, I have good news and bad news. The good news is you're being discharged, since you were able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of the person you love... I have concluded that your act displays sound mindedness. The bad news is, Ralph hung himself in the bathroom with his bathrobe belt right after you saved him. I am so sorry, but he's dead.' Edna replied, 'He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry.. How soon can I go home?' Happy Mental Health Day!

You can do your bit by remembering to send this blog to a friend...

Done my part!!! 

 Hana Hou, (Encore) Shared from Facebook...

 

"The other 47%..." 'James "Kimo" Rosen

"The real abusers of free stuff are politicians themselves!"

Ironically if Mitt Romney does become President (which he won't) he would be part of the 47% he so despises, since he would be living in public housing (the white house) (all paid by taxpaying dollars!)

Aloha check out my opinion article in the Saturday October 13, 2012 edition of the Kaua'i Garden Island news, " Politicians abuse taxpayers?" 
 http://thegardenisland.com/news/opinion/mailbag/letters-for-saturday-october/article_efe58282-14c8-11e2-8eb5-0019bb2963f4.html

The Republican party seems to have reached an all time low with it's disconnect to the American people.

The Republicans main objective is not to repair the budget, or put America back to work or to get out of Afghanistan but rather to make life hard for a President that has a different skin color than most of them.

Willard Romney talks about the 47% that live off  some  aspect of government assistance, be it social security, HUD housing, EBT Food stamps, etc.

Everyone  in one way or another is part of the so called "47%." Who hasn't used government funded stuff with the likes of the public libraries, public schools, highways, parks, hiking trails, bike paths, calling 911, social security, unemployment. etc?

I have a question for Mr. Willard Romney. What happens Governor Romney  if you become President ( God help America if you do)
You will live in the white house, which is public housing, you will have a white house chef preparing all your meals and you will have secret service men assigned to you even after you  are no longer in office. You will fly in Air force one in lieu of commercial airlines even for family events.  All this as taxpayer expenses.

 Politicians are the biggest abusers of public taxpaying monies, so next time you hear Governor Romney or his repulbiCON  (sic)associates talk about the other 47%, know they are talking about the biggest leaches of society, 'Politicians.'
Hana Hou, (Encore) Shared from Facebook...

"Ironically if Mitt does become President (which he won't) he would be part of the 47% he so despises, since he would be living in public housing (the white house) (all paid by taxpaying dollars!)" 

 James "Kimo" Rosen

P.S.
Aloha check out my opinion article in the Saturday October 13, 2012 edition of the Kaua'i Garden Island news, " Politicians abuse taxpayers?"  http://thegardenisland.com/news/opinion/mailbag/letters-for-saturday-october/article_efe58282-14c8-11e2-8eb5-0019bb2963f4.html