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The time frame between the scan and when you find out the news seems like years. The radiologist cannot legally tell you the results, you need a medical doctor.
My scan was done on a Friday, my follow up visit with my good doctor was on a Tuesday, four long days. During that time thoughts of all sorts are rummaging through my brain. (what happens if it's cancer, how will my life change?) How long do i have, will the chemo and radiation hurt, will i get tired and nausea?)
The drive to the doctors was deliberately slow. They call me into the doctors office. I am waiting for the doctor and I see the folder and CT scan results on top of my file. Should i sneak a peak or wait for the doctor? My heart is pounding, I will wait for the doctor, OK I won't wait for the doctor... I couldn't stand the tension, I took a look, and as I am reading it says, noted is a 2.5 cm non-calcified module, I am thinking the worst, until the last sentence that said, the nodule has not changed since 2007 and is currently stable, no further CT examinations.
I can feel my blood pressure going down and a love of G-d and life infiltrate me. I start thinking about all the small stuff that gets me upset, and now I am just thankful for being alive and a happy ending to my CT scan.
Ironically all this happening in the midst of the birthday of creation, the birthday of Adam and Eve, The Jewish new year, Rosh Hashanah, the head of the new year. A time for renewal and forgiveness, to ask the Lord to enter you into the book of life and pray you are granted another year on planet earth.
There are no guarantee's in life, but somehow I feel this is going to be one good year. "Remember to not sweat the Small stuff."
Happy Jewish New year, La shana Tova, (may you all be entered into the book of life!)
