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Thursday, October 31, 2013

"Channeling Andy Rooney..." 'James "Kimo" Rosen'



Channeling Andy Rooney

Andy Rooney the former sixty minutes commentator who always had the last word is my mentor. He is my favorite writer, columnist and satirist of all time. I used to watch the CBS show, Sixty minutes religiously only for the last 3 minutes with Andy Rooney. He was off the wall, always had a point and always made me laugh. I miss Andy Rooney.

 If I could  had spoke with him I might had started my conversation with his famous refrain,"Did you ever wonder." Did you ever wonder why you are actually talking to me? I would answer, because of the Prozac I slipped in your drink?

Andy Rooney was  the reason I watched "60 minutes." Most of the shows anchor's are well advanced senior citizens and without Rooney the show has pretty much sealed it's fate.

Rooney was blogging before blogging was even a word, or people knew what blogging was. I  call Rooney the original blogger, the guy who blogged before  it became a word. Mr. Rooney had the best job in the world.

 If  Mr. Rooney could write an essay from beyond it  might begin;"Did you ever wonder why they say people "pass away?" What have they passed, footballs, baseballs or maybe just a little gas? Rest in Peace Mr. Rooney, and Mahalo Nui Loa for being my mentor...

I am currently  reading a book of essays I  purchased at the Kapa'a library's annual book sale by Andy Rooney.  The book is titled,"Uncommon Sense" and only cost me  fifty cents. With that said,  I    hope to channel Andy Rooney with my own thoughts and words on the usage of the word zero. here goes; 

"Did you ever wonder why" sports commentators always announce the  score as 14-Oh, instead of 14-zero?. I was always taught as a child that  'Oh' is a letter not a number. When talking numbers one should use zero, not Oh.

I had a hard time explaining  this to my students in Japan when I was teaching English as a second language back in the day. The students always wanted to say Oh, in lieu of zero? They watch American movies, sports  and TV and often hear Oh used to represent zero.

It's never the other way around, nobody ever says, zero boy, or Zero man, it's always  Oh boy, or Oh man.

Oh is oh, and zero is zero.  With that said, others insist on saying the score is 35-zip. Zip seems better than Oh, just because Zip begins with a Z, just like zero.

Many will call the score 35- nothing. I still like nothing better than Oh, but not as much as zip when representing zero.

Zero is one of the few words in the English language that begin with Z. The only letter with less words , are words beginning with X. My pocket dictionary show only  six pages for the heading" XYZ." Why are there so few words beginning with X,Y, and Z? Since there are so few words beginning with  these letters it's important to use as many Z words as possible, zero boy, hope this makes sense.

Whether it's nothing, zip,  or oh, zero is what I was taught to use in elementary school. The teachers drilled me that Oh was not a number and when I would accidently say Oh instead of zero I was made to stand in the corner.

Thinking back on that teacher she was a big  zero , a big zip, a big nothing or should I say  a big Oh?

 Did you ever wonder why they say rest in peace?We miss you Andy, RIP. 

Hana Hou, (Encore)  Shared From Facebook...