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Wednesday, August 17, 2011

"Who is Jack Schitt..?" 'Rema Murphy' (Facetious Thursdays)

Guest blogger Rema Murphy a former Kauai resident is now teaching elementary school in Austin Texas, she shares with us some some very important history.... Rema is pictured above with her grandson Alex.
whose da guy in da reflection?

WHO IS JACK   SCHITT?
For some time many of us have  wondered just who is Jack Schitt?

We find ourselves at a loss  when  someone says, 'You don't know Jack Schitt'!
  Well,  thanks to my genealogy efforts, you can now respond in an intellectual  way.

Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt.   Awe  Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, who married O. Schitt, the owner of  Needeep N. Schitt, Inc.
   They had one son, Jack.

In  turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt.  The deeply religious couple  produced six children: Holie Schitt, Giva Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Bull  Schitt, and the twins Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt.

Against her   parents' objections, Deep Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school  dropout. 
After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt  divorced.
Noe Schitt later married Ted Sherlock, and because her kids  were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name. She was then  known as Noe Schitt Sherlock.

Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda  Schitt, and they produced a son with a rather nervous disposition named  Chicken S chitt. Two of the other six children, Fulla Schitt and Giva  Schit t, were inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently married the  Happens brothers in a dual ceremony..
The wedding announcement in the  newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens nuptials. The Schitt-Happens  children were Dawg,  Byrd, and Horse..

Bull Schitt, the  prodigal son, left home to tour the  world.
He recently returned  from Italy    with his new Italian bride, Pisa Schitt.

Now when  someone says, 'You don't know Jack Schitt', you can correct  them.
Sincerely,
Crock O. Schitt


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