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Thursday, August 15, 2013

"Never been married and here's why...‏" 'James "Kimo" Rosen' (Guest appearance by Bettejo!)

Movie Star Irene Bedard (Disney's voice of Pocahontas) and James "Kimo" Rosen
during his tenure as Publisher of Alaska People Magazine back in 1998.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Irene_Bedard


Never been married and here's why

People are often surprised when they find out I am nearing the big 6-0 and have never been married?

It's really not their business, but the first thing that comes to  most people's mind, "are you gay?" No, I am not gay.("not that there's anything wrong with that." 

"Then why does a handsome intelligent man like you not have a wife?" I thank them for calling me handsome and intelligent stressing that flattery will get them everywhere.

First let me explain, although I have never been officially married I have lived with on a long term basis of 4 years or more  with four different woman in my adult life since the age of 23 and have had numerous short term relations too.

I always thought that  two people have more buying power and that when you have a significant other, wife, or husband common sense tells you life will cost less, right?  You can buy the larger jar of peanut butter, you can split the rent or mortgage and take turns on who drives and who buys the gas.

The irony of having a partner is life becomes much more expensive than living alone. Maybe 5 times as expensive!

The next time you feel sorry for  anybody in their 40's, 50's, or 60's who has yet to tie the knot, know that they may be just fine the way they are.

If you  cannot find happiness in another person do what I did, get a dog! Need I say more?  ;D)


P.S. Now for Bettejo's counter parody perspective to this blog.When someone parodies  you, it's the ultimate compliment!
Aunty Bettejo with nephew Tommy a few years back!

People are often surprised when they find out I am nearing the big 9-0 and have only been married twice. Been 27 years without a husband.

It’s really none of their business, but the first thing that comes to most minds is, “Are you a lesbian?” No I am not, daughter is, if that’s any help.

“Then why does a beautiful intelligent octogenarian like you not have a husband?” I thank them for calling me beautiful and intelligent stressing that flattery will get them everywhere. A couple of sick silly patriarchs on the line I’ve been banned on-twice-call me narcissistic. Well, I like myself. I love my smile. I love the picture Carol Ann Davis took of me that sometimes shows up at the top of my column in The Garden Island Wellness section on Wednesday.

I still speak to my Editor on this blog even after he took -and circulated- that awful picture of me blowing out a candle.

First, though-let me explain-I have been officially married. Twice, as I said before. Disaster the first time. Two kids, a young single mother. Help! Then a love affair with my second husband for 31years. After he died lots of men-I mean lots of men-came sniffing. I was single, had some money and some land and was ripe for conquest.

My foot.

I have buying power and I sure didn't need a sex hungry, gigolo messing up my world class act. I couldn't live with them and, trust me on this one, they couldn't live with me.

I buy in bulk, paper products and stuff and learned how to handle that. In the beginning I would forget to check the pantry or the other storage sites and discover I had enough toilet paper to paper the White House.  I’ve enough bottles of Tabasco to last me the rest of my life.

But I’m learning. And I’m going it alone and loving it. I do what I please, when I please and where I please.  It’s the only way to go.

I agree about the dog, though. Only my ‘family’ consists of a horse, a dog, two cats and a macaw.

Still, maybe Kimo could adopt me? Us?

I’d make him pay for that picture in spades. All that Tabasco sauce would come in handy. In his consecrated chicken soup I whizz up on Colette, my Vitamix. A whack over the head with Macha my trusty shillelagh.

Narcissistic? You ain’t seen nothin’.



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