"Mashed Potatoes..." 'Bettejo Dux' (Classic Wednesday)

Bettejo Dux has lived on the cosmic Garden Island of Kaua'i for over 40 years.
Bettejo is a regular columnist in the Garden Island news and is the author of the
famed novella, "The Scam."
www.bettejodux.com

Above photo; Bettejo Dux on far right holds a sign that says, "Live in Harmony," at the recent Martin Luther King Day celebration at Kuku'i Grove center in Lihu'e.

Mashed Potatoes

"When I was a little girl," I said, "the serving ladies at school called me 'mashed potatoes'. 'Get ready here comes  mashed potatoes,' was the cry down  line.

"I loved mashed potatoes and, I guess,  'cause I was little and skinny, they decided to fatten me up. I'd leave the counter with a tray almost too heavy for a runt to carry."

"Oh gawd, it's gonna be a story."

"Shut up and munch."

"Ten to one she'll divulge a recipe," he munched.

"You're on," another muncher munched. "Good thing. They're delicious."

'When was the last time you baked anything?"

"That's why I brought  this beautiful lady."

His beautiful lady rolled her eyes. "That and uncorking the wine and making the bed and cleaning  house. I like red better

than white with these things. Can I call a Cab?"

"Of course. Potatoes go good with red. It's a color thing. I love potatoes. They're versatile. Thank you Walter Raleigh and mother earth. Think of the versatility! You can make potato soup, potato salad, casseroles. You can roast'em, bake'em, slice and dice'em in omelets or fritatas. Hash'em. You can dress 'em up, dress 'em down, disguise 'em and you can eat'em for breakfast, lunch, dinner, snacks , happy hour. Soirees. They're vegetable. Remember them? A staple. They keep well. They're abundant. Easy to grow.  Not that expensive. They're  also very nourishing and  they're not fattening. A medium size baked potato, grown in rich soil, contains about a hundred calories, 2 grams of protein, 22 grams of carbohydrate, .5  grams of fiber, a trace of fat, no saturated fat,  3 mg iron, 60 mg. of calcium, 180 grams of potassium, 420 mg of sodium,   a trace of B1 and B 2, 3.2 mg of Niacin, 15 mg. of C."

"Did anybody get that down?"

"I recorded it. She likes to hear her own voice."

"I like'er better when she does the Alice B Toklas thing. When do we get to the hash?"

"Alice B Who?"

"Peasant."

"This ignorant younger generation."

"Alice  did fudge. Not potatoes. Don't get this one  riled or you'll get that shillelagh on your noggin."

"I never turn my back on'er when she's got that shillelagh in her hand."

"Do you want the recipe or not? There's also a beauty secret exposed here."

'I love beauty secrets."

"It isn't original - the beauty part is- use russet potatoes cut into 1/2 inch size. Extra virgin olive oil. Always. Don't peel. The skin's most nutritious.  Salt. Pepper. Oh, yeah, heat the oven to 450F first.

Soak the potatoes in ice water for about 15 or 20 minutes. Stick'em in a non stick tray in the oven. Bake for 15 or 20 minutes. Turn and bake for another 20 minutes, turning once in a while or until they're crisp and golden.That's  tricky.  Little more salt and pepper.  Serve fast. You can also toss 'em in Parmesan cheese. Minced garlic.  Chopped parsley."

"The beauty?"

" Snowden. State secret divulged."

"All that olive oil on your hands.? Don't wipe it off, rub it on your face."

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