Follow by Email

Monk Seal and Me...

Search This Blog

Wednesday, April 2, 2014

"My Dog Named Sex..." 'Chester "Unc" Lau' (Source)

Dakinetalks favorite Uncle (Chester Lau)
"Unc" is a retired cinematographer currently living 
on the Hawai'ian Island of Oahu & giving the politicians a bad time...

My Dog Named Sex

A Dog Named Sex
Everybody I know who has a dog usually calls him "Rover" , "Spot" or lady Obama, 
I call mine Sex. Now, Sex has been very embarrassing to me. When I went
to the City Hall to renew the dog's license, I told the clerk that I
would like a license for Sex. He said, "I would like to have one too!"

Then I said, "But she is a dog!" He said he didn't care what she
looked like. I said, "You don't understand.... I have had Sex since I
was nine years old." He replied, "You must have been quite a strong

When I decided to get married, I told the minister that I would like
to have Sex at the wedding. He told me to wait until after the wedding
was over. I said, "But Sex has played a big part in my life and my
whole world revolves around Sex." He said he didn't want to hear about
my personal life and would not marry us in his church. I told him
everyone would enjoy having Sex at the wedding. The next day we were
married at the Justice of the Peace. My family is barred from the
church from then on.

When my wife and I went on our honeymoon, I took the dog with me. When
we checked into the motel, I told the clerk that I wanted a room for
me and my wife and a special room for Sex. He said that every room in
the motel is a place for sex. I said, "You don't understand. Sex keeps
me awake at night." The clerk said, "Me too !"

One day I entered Sex in a contest. But before the competition began,
the dog ran away. Another contestant asked me why I was just looking
around. I told him that I was going to have Sex in the contest. He
said that I should have sold my own tickets. "You don't understand," I
said, "I hoped to have Sex on TV." He called me a show off.

When my wife and I separated, we went to court to fight for custody of
the dog. I said, "Your Honor, I had Sex before I was married but Sex
left me after I was married." The Judge said, "Me too!"

Last night Sex ran off again. I spent hours looking all over for her.
A cop came over and asked me what I was doing in the alley at 4
o'clock in the morning. I said, "I'm looking for Sex." --

My case comes up next Thursday.

Well now I've been thrown in jail, been divorced and had more troubles
with that dog than I ever foresaw. Why just the other day when I went
for my first session with the psychiatrist, she asked me, "What seems
to be the trouble?" I replied, "Sex has been my best friend all my
life but now it has left me for ever. I couldn't live any longer so
lonely." And the doctor said, "Look, mister, you should understand
that sex isn't a man's best friend, so get yourself a dog."

Hana Hou, (Encore) Shared from Facebook...


KimoRosen said...

Unc, I think maybe the dogs name was Rex and not Sex?

Chester "Unc" Lau said...

Rex or Sex,as long as you can get a smile from it

KimoRosen said...

Unc, don't forget you went looking for sex at the Humane society too! ;D)

Chester "Unc" Lau said...

Humane Society should have a society for HUMANS looking for Sex

KimoRosen said...

you mean the dog, right? ;D)