"Making Love..." 'Obama Da Dog' (Adult Humor) (Source)

Obama Da Dog likes to tell dirty jokes, one of her favorites is the
cat fell in the mud... And of course the enclosed risque "R"-rated joke... Enjoy!

Making Love

Johnny wanted to make love with a girl in his office, But she belonged to someone else…

One day, Johnny got so frustrated that he went up to her and said, “I’ll give you a $100 if you let me make love to you. But the girl said NO.

Johnny said, “I’ll be fast. I’ll throw the money on the floor, you bend down, and I’ll be finished by the time you pick it up. ”

She thought for a moment and said that she would have to consult her boyfriend… So she called her boyfriend and told him the story.

Her boyfriend says, “Ask him for $200, pick up the money very fast, he won’t even be able to get his Pants down.”

So she agrees and accepts the proposal. Half an hour goes by, and the boyfriend is waiting for his girlfriend to call.

Finally, after 45 minutes, the boyfriend calls and asks what happened.

She responded, “The bastard used coins!”

Management lesson:
Always consider a business proposal in its entirety before agreeing to it or risk getting screwed uncountable times! 

Hana Hou, (Encore) Shared from Facebook....

"God Will Save me..!" Obama Da Dog (Source)

Obama Da Dog  is one of the best friends I have ever known.
She currently resides on the Hawai'ian Island of Kaua'i as a caregiver to her friend
James "Kimo" Rosen. (Me)
Today Obama talks about an irony, enjoy..!  ;D)

God Will Save me

There was a flood in a village. One man said to everyone, "I'll stay! God will save me!"

The flood got higher and a boat came and the man in it said "Come on mate, get in!"

"No" replied the man. God will save me!

The flood got very high now and the man had to stand on the roof of his house.

A helicopter soon came and the man offered him help."

No, God will save me!" he said

Eventually he died by drowning.

He got by the gates of heaven and he said to God "Why didn't you save me?"

God replied, "For goodness sake! I sent a boat and a helicopter. What more do you want!"

Hana Hou, (Encore) Shared From Facebook

"A PERFECT DAY..." 'Bettejo Dux' (Classic Wednesday)

Bettejo Dux has lived on the cosmic garden island

of Kaua'i over 30 years. She is an animal lover, people lover and lover of life.

Today Bettejo blogs about the perfect day for you and her... Enjoy!

You can order a copy of her Novella "The Scam "below.www.bettejodux.com

A PERFECT DAY

Create one. A special one. Just for you. Forget the guilt trip-ignore the guys who push it-enjoy enjoy, you deserve it.

And it’s healthy, too.

My sister- in- law was a hard working school- teacher. Her perfect day was Sunday. She stayed in bed all day.

I have a beautiful friend who loves to spend an entire day in her fantastic 20X20 foot closet.  More plush and perfect than any of the most elegant dress shops, it’s a dream works. Music. Air conditioned. A rose red carpet so shockingly soft she can tumble, twist and luxuriate on it surrounded by a flock of glamorous pink velvet pillows. A giant gold-framed mirror reflects and perfects everything over and over and over again. Gowns and shoes and accessories on display -over and over and over again. An enormous glass enclosed shower/steam room swallows her whole and spirits her out perfected.

She emerges the following day ready to save the earth and all the living things in it. It works for her.

Few of us can take that route, or would want to, but we can cheer her on and maybe enjoy a moment enjoying, in our dreams, her day.

That works.

Me? Well, I’m a nature freak.

“When I pass a flowering zucchini plant in a garden, my heart skips a beat.” Gwyneth Paltro said. I love her.

I love to get lost in the woods, feed my zoo and take what’s left of the day off. Do nothing. Find a tree to sit under, or in, or a mound of green to lie on, and watch shape shifting clown clouds scribble on a sea- blue canvas.

Vagrant silent breezes dance with overhead and earth bound leaves. They lift and fly and float and shimmy like a divine chorus on an infinite stage.

A bird winks a whistle. Others answer in their own way. Sometimes I think they’re talking to each other. Other times I think they’re competing. Who can make the silliest sound? The prettiest? The most cacophonous?

A lone brown hen, who looks like a piece of Kauai red dirt skips by, scuttling quiet as a mouse down an unmarked path.

Sometimes my grown up puppy, Bootsy, joins me. Even Ari, on occasion, bumbles by. They both love animal crackers. Me, too. We share a bag.

I munch on salmon, crackers and cheese, a potently deviled egg and wicked potato salad. Sip chilled Chardonnay. And let quiet, food and nature nurse me back to health.

I have to feed the zoo dinner but sometimes I return from my house/barn and watch the sky begin to glitter. If I’ve planned it right I can watch the moon rise.

My life is so complicated it takes me a day to prepare for my perfect day but sometimes leftovers fall free into the day after.

Works for me.

Perfect a day that works for you. Make it up. We’ll enjoy it, in our minds, with you.

Bettejo with her best friend Boots

Hana Hou, (Encore) Shared From Facebook...

"Down to Business..." Obama da Dog' (Source)

Obama Da Dog get's down to business... Enjoy!

Down To Business

A young businessman had just started his own firm.

He'd rented a beautiful office and furnished it with antiques.

Sitting there, he saw a man come into the outer office.

Wishing to appear busy, the businessman picked up the phone and started to pretend he had a big deal working.

He threw huge figures around and made giant commitments.

Finally he hung up and asked the visitor, "Can I help you?"

The man said, "Sure. I've come to install the phone!"


P.S. Photographed with a drone video camera, awesome footage of Hawai'i;
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k849mCGYpMQ

Hana Hou, (Encore) An original Kimo meme...

"BEAUTY SECRETS..." 'Bettejo Dux'' (Monday surprise)

Bettejo Dux has lived on the cosmic garden island
of Kaua'i over 30 years. She is an animal lover, people lover and lover of life.

Bettejo is back on Monday by popular demand! 

She will still blog as scheduled every Wednesday.

Today Bettejo blogs about health and beauty secrets, Enjoy!

You can order a copy of her Novella "The Scam "below.www.bettejodux.com

BEAUTY SECRETS

Don’t let anyone tell you you can’t be beautiful at any age. There’s nothing more beautiful than glowing good health and, if you’re young, you can grow ‘towards it’, and, if you’re older, you can maintain and be proud of having got there. This is definitely a do-it-yourself project. Start right now, you can’t start any younger.

Also, don’t let anyone tell you that choosing to be as attractive as you can be is vain or narcissistic-which seems to be the buzzword among many women haters. I’m always amazed and bemused at these strange creatures. Their voices seem to surface as they grow older.

Not all men, mind you-I love men-just a few cranks. If we’re all a product of our past experience what do you suppose happened to them? I kind’a think if they've not had a loving experience with their mothers, their female teachers, or little girls their same age or in their classrooms, this unfortunate happenstance boils stinky toxic.

It has been my experience that they are usually- mostly, often- either over-size bullies or under size geeks. Unattractive. Over weight. Stiff, stodgy, sick and sad looking. They glare. They seem to think a smile would broke da’face(sic). All of them-all of them-with an overwhelming thumping killing machine  dimension. Odd fellows. Fortunately they are few in number. When you encounter one-wherever- always smile that glowing smile, always be sassy and shyly strut your stuff.

Oh, I am so wicked.  You can be wicked, too.

But I digress.

There is something extremely healthy about knowing you look pretty good. Classy. Smart. Attractive. You glow, from the inside out. You smile, because you can. Little kids love you. Strangers you meet, on the street, in the shops, at the Post Office, smile ‘cause they just can’t help it.

So here’s my secret for the day. You know how I push Colette- my Vitamix-and the magic stuff, Brewer’s Yeast and Wheat Germ, Vitamin C and soups and smoothies… and, of course, my teachers, Adelle Davis and Linus Pauling.

But there’s another ingredient I always push, Olive Oil. Have you noticed? I even put a shot in my smoothies. The list of benefits is almost endless. It can reduce the risk of cardiovascular diseases, ease the pain of arthritis, and lower your blood pressure. Use of it also seems to defy the aging process.

Use it instead of butter. On and in everything. Try to find and buy the best extra virgin, cold pressed, Italian grown  oil you can. It’s expensive but so is heart disease and arthritis.

Use it on your skin. One great secret: how often have you heard, “Women when who wear make up, at a certain age, always get that ‘caked’ look.” I’ve heard young girls say that. Well, splash some olive oil on your face and neck and shoulders and whatever else will show-remember your shoulders are the last to go and don’t forget behind your ears-then apply makeup. It works.

Here’s to a long, happy, healthy life. Glow, baby, glow.

Bettejo a few years back with her nephew Tommy

Bettejo proudly displays her books in the background

Hana Hou, (Encore) Shared from Facebook...

"Hump Day..." 'Judith Whitehead' (Inspiration Sunday)

"Guest-blogger Judith Whitehead lives in Amherst N.Y. and has worked in the ophthalmology field of medicine for over 30 years...We take a  much needed break from the controversy of GMO's and a Racially based court trial in Hawai'i to guest-blogger Judith Whitehead's take onWednesday's (Hump Day!)! Enjoy Inspiration Sunday! ;D)

Hump Day

I always look forward to Wednesdays...they are hump day, the middle of the week to get over so the weekend is that much closer...even better this week. I'm taking an r/r day off for Friday; hang with my son and chill.  Before we know it, he'll be winging his way back to the West coast. 

The weeks seem to move along so quickly  also summer is moving at warp speed. Once mid August hits, We begin to see a hint of Fall in the air, the flowers don't bloom as much and the trees start to loose their leaves; Fall is a nice time on the east coast; I never was much for the humid weather anyways.

Fall brings much to look forward to, birthday celebrations, religious holidays to celebrate with friends and family and a host of other merry occasions.  These are the things that make our lives full and rich and worth living.  

Enjoy the last hints of summer everyone...Fall is in the air.

Hana Hou, (Encore)  Shared from Facebook...

"Never been married and here's why...‏" 'James "Kimo" Rosen' (Guest appearance by Bettejo!)

Movie Star Irene Bedard (Disney's voice of Pocahontas) and James "Kimo" Rosen
during his tenure as Publisher of Alaska People Magazine back in 1998.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Irene_Bedard

Never been married and here's why

People are often surprised when they find out I am nearing the big 6-0 and have never been married?

It's really not their business, but the first thing that comes to  most people's mind, "are you gay?" No, I am not gay.("not that there's anything wrong with that." 

"Then why does a handsome intelligent man like you not have a wife?" I thank them for calling me handsome and intelligent stressing that flattery will get them everywhere.

First let me explain, although I have never been officially married I have lived with on a long term basis of 4 years or more  with four different woman in my adult life since the age of 23 and have had numerous short term relations too.

I always thought that  two people have more buying power and that when you have a significant other, wife, or husband common sense tells you life will cost less, right?  You can buy the larger jar of peanut butter, you can split the rent or mortgage and take turns on who drives and who buys the gas.

The irony of having a partner is life becomes much more expensive than living alone. Maybe 5 times as expensive!

The next time you feel sorry for  anybody in their 40's, 50's, or 60's who has yet to tie the knot, know that they may be just fine the way they are.

If you  cannot find happiness in another person do what I did, get a dog! Need I say more?  ;D)

P.S. Now for Bettejo's counter parody perspective to this blog.When someone parodies  you, it's the ultimate compliment!

Aunty Bettejo with nephew Tommy a few years back!

People are often surprised when they find out I am nearing the big 9-0 and have only been married twice. Been 27 years without a husband.

It’s really none of their business, but the first thing that comes to most minds is, “Are you a lesbian?” No I am not, daughter is, if that’s any help.

“Then why does a beautiful intelligent octogenarian like you not have a husband?” I thank them for calling me beautiful and intelligent stressing that flattery will get them everywhere. A couple of sick silly patriarchs on the line I’ve been banned on-twice-call me narcissistic. Well, I like myself. I love my smile. I love the picture Carol Ann Davis took of me that sometimes shows up at the top of my column in The Garden Island Wellness section on Wednesday.

I still speak to my Editor on this blog even after he took -and circulated- that awful picture of me blowing out a candle.

First, though-let me explain-I have been officially married. Twice, as I said before. Disaster the first time. Two kids, a young single mother. Help! Then a love affair with my second husband for 31years. After he died lots of men-I mean lots of men-came sniffing. I was single, had some money and some land and was ripe for conquest.

My foot.

I have buying power and I sure didn't need a sex hungry, gigolo messing up my world class act. I couldn't live with them and, trust me on this one, they couldn't live with me.

I buy in bulk, paper products and stuff and learned how to handle that. In the beginning I would forget to check the pantry or the other storage sites and discover I had enough toilet paper to paper the White House.  I’ve enough bottles of Tabasco to last me the rest of my life.

But I’m learning. And I’m going it alone and loving it. I do what I please, when I please and where I please.  It’s the only way to go.

I agree about the dog, though. Only my ‘family’ consists of a horse, a dog, two cats and a macaw.

Still, maybe Kimo could adopt me? Us?

I’d make him pay for that picture in spades. All that Tabasco sauce would come in handy. In his consecrated chicken soup I whizz up on Colette, my Vitamix. A whack over the head with Macha my trusty shillelagh.

Narcissistic? You ain’t seen nothin’.

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