"Channeling Andy Rooney..." 'James "Kimo" Rosen'

Channeling Andy Rooney

Andy Rooney the former sixty minutes commentator who always had the last word is my mentor. He is my favorite writer, columnist and satirist of all time. I used to watch the CBS show, Sixty minutes religiously only for the last 3 minutes with Andy Rooney. He was off the wall, always had a point and always made me laugh. I miss Andy Rooney.

 If I could  had spoke with him I might had started my conversation with his famous refrain,"Did you ever wonder." Did you ever wonder why you are actually talking to me? I would answer, because of the Prozac I slipped in your drink?

Andy Rooney was  the reason I watched "60 minutes." Most of the shows anchor's are well advanced senior citizens and without Rooney the show has pretty much sealed it's fate.

Rooney was blogging before blogging was even a word, or people knew what blogging was. I  call Rooney the original blogger, the guy who blogged before  it became a word. Mr. Rooney had the best job in the world.

 If  Mr. Rooney could write an essay from beyond it  might begin;"Did you ever wonder why they say people "pass away?" What have they passed, footballs, baseballs or maybe just a little gas? Rest in Peace Mr. Rooney, and Mahalo Nui Loa for being my mentor...

I am currently  reading a book of essays I  purchased at the Kapa'a library's annual book sale by Andy Rooney.  The book is titled,"Uncommon Sense" and only cost me  fifty cents. With that said,  I    hope to channel Andy Rooney with my own thoughts and words on the usage of the word zero. here goes; 

"Did you ever wonder why" sports commentators always announce the  score as 14-Oh, instead of 14-zero?. I was always taught as a child that  'Oh' is a letter not a number. When talking numbers one should use zero, not Oh.

I had a hard time explaining  this to my students in Japan when I was teaching English as a second language back in the day. The students always wanted to say Oh, in lieu of zero? They watch American movies, sports  and TV and often hear Oh used to represent zero.

It's never the other way around, nobody ever says, zero boy, or Zero man, it's always  Oh boy, or Oh man.

Oh is oh, and zero is zero.  With that said, others insist on saying the score is 35-zip. Zip seems better than Oh, just because Zip begins with a Z, just like zero.

Many will call the score 35- nothing. I still like nothing better than Oh, but not as much as zip when representing zero.

Zero is one of the few words in the English language that begin with Z. The only letter with less words , are words beginning with X. My pocket dictionary show only  six pages for the heading" XYZ." Why are there so few words beginning with X,Y, and Z? Since there are so few words beginning with  these letters it's important to use as many Z words as possible, zero boy, hope this makes sense.

Whether it's nothing, zip,  or oh, zero is what I was taught to use in elementary school. The teachers drilled me that Oh was not a number and when I would accidently say Oh instead of zero I was made to stand in the corner.

Thinking back on that teacher she was a big  zero , a big zip, a big nothing or should I say  a big Oh?

 Did you ever wonder why they say rest in peace?We miss you Andy, RIP. 

Hana Hou, (Encore)  Shared From Facebook...

"Lovers..." Bettejo Dux

Bettejo Dux has lived  on the Cosmic island  Garden Island
of Kaua'i over 30 years. She is a weekly columnist in the local
newspaper (The Garden Island News) and is a published author
of the Novella "The Scam." Order your copies below.
www.bettejodux.com

Lovers

I’m stuck on the love boat. The emotion is such a powerful one it can be applied to anything. For an example: I love tomato soup. I mean, I  love it. So does my digestive system. So do my taste buds. With my  lovable Vita-Mix I can build a  tomato soup that never tastes the same way twice.

Those are my taste buds talking, In my new book, Children of  the Extinction, the kids do a lot of eating and, as I sit at my computer, I get a raging case of the munchies. Good thing I enjoy non- fattening snacks.

There are loves that strike my ears, too. I love Gaite Parisienne and Joan Baez . I love  harps and  pipes and the song of the birds.  The screech of the parrot,  the thunder of a peacock’s voice.

Fragrance?  I love Shalimar. My mother always smelled of Shalimar. Her closets. Her dresser drawers. Her bathroom. Your could nose her presence a block away.

For the eyes?  I love green plants, tall trees, red  flowers. I love blue skies, grey skies, gold skies in the morning, red skies at night. I love moon glow, star shine and rainbow glitter. Ever seen a moon rainbow? ‘They’ say you’re not an Hawaiian until you've seen one.

‘They’ say los of things.

I love ink on paper. Words. I love the English  language. I love Vonnegut and Thurber and Sandberg.

What do I love to touch the most? My horse’s thick mane, my dog’s silky ears.   I guess, today, what I love  most  are animals.  All animals. The good, the bad and the ugly. A world without animals? Horrors.

I recall a debate as to whether animals have souls. It’s an interesting idea to a devout non-believer-who does not ‘believe’ in souls, but who does know, if there is such a thing, animals have one, too.

Gary Zukov,of all people, one of the finest interpreters of frontier science, believes animals have collective souls. His Seat of the Soul is a “readable , thought provoking (work) on how our perceptions must change dramatically if we are to survive.” If you have a curious, loving mind I hope you find and read it.

What I do know from years of observation? From an open mind that can look and ask questions and not get totally lost in the god/no god thing?  Loving all animals, that’s us, too, is a good idea.. Our closest living relative  is the chimp. We can exchange blood- providing our type is the same, of course- and that, to me, a devout non believer  is a wonderful thing to think.  I love that we’re related to this incredible creature.

I hope all of you reading this will share with me this love. Will love all animals on this planet. Even us guys.

The essence is all about love. The love of life. Be thankful you’re a living thing on such a beautiful planet. Let’s hope greedy,  lesser minds do not destroy it.

Hana Hou,(Encore) Shared From Facebook...

"Hospital Visits, Think Again..." 'Judith Whitehead' (Inspiration Sunday)

Judith Whitehead pictured above with her 94 year old father, Bert.
Judith lives in Amherst New York and has worked in the ophthalmology field of
medicine for over 30 years and counting...

Hospital Visits, Think Again

If You think you are safe in the hospital and are 94…think again….

Recently my dad was hospitalized for a serious blood infection and kidney infection; he had sepsis.  Being out of sorts, feverish and out of his element he was not happy. Having difficulty finding collapsed veins and not wanting to eat a hospitalist took a look at him and made a judgement call; he’s 94, has dementia and is combative…let’s call in palliative care and hospice to talk to the family.   By no means is my dad ready to buy the farm yet.  

If he had been younger, this option  would have not even been brought to the table.  Needless to say, after my intervention, he was put on oral antibiotics and responded well to them, started eating like a horse and was released from the hospital 3 days later on my insistence.  

We better keep an eye on our elderly because snap decisions can seal their fate!


Hana Hou, (Encore) Shared From Facebook...

"The Newspaper..." 'Obama Da Dog'

Obama Da Dog enjoying the newspaper!

The Newspaper

Can you imagine your grandparents having  read the newspaper and seeing comments like,"IMHO , LOL, and WTF?" Let me start by saying that "WTF" does not stand for Wednesday,Thursday and Friday and In my honest opinion (IMHO) I have never told anyone I am Laughing out loud, (LOL)maybe a smiley face or a tehe, but LOL?

A recent survey  stated more people get their news from the Internet than from newspapers — and more ad dollars went to online outlets than to newspapers. This trend is growing  toward electronic journalism and in the near future  we may not have the luxury of choosing to read a real hard copied newspaper which in itself would be a travesty.

I have been reading the Garden Island News online for almost ten years now. I use to comment to the stories I found interesting and after a few years quit commenting because of the venomous hate from other commenters should you disagree with them. These were the commenters that preached Aloha, that's if you agreed with them, if you didn't agree with them, they were out to get you.

Two weeks ago I decided to subscribe to the Garden Island newspaper, the real thing, the hard copy. The way I read the paper as a young man and youth. I forget how wonderful reading the newspaper can be.  I was not tempted to comment to a story with the potential of being verbally abused  by another commenter that may had disagreed with me.  I do not have to worry about spilling my coffee on my computer and having an expensive repair or having a virus stop me from reading a certain article.

Just relaxing with the Garden island News with my morning coffee in my favorite recliner, dog at my side, is a comfort I had forgotten. 

Reading the hard copy, I do not see all the varied opinions expressed through the comments board. It is comforting reading the newspaper without  other readers chiming in.  I just read the paper without talking back. It's relaxing and feels wonderful to just read the paper like our ancestors did many years ago.

For anyone trying to save a few bucks by reading online, there is still nothing like the Sunday paper.  There are many inserts not available online that are only available with a real hard copied  newspaper that  can save you enough money to pay for the subscription because of  all the coupons to  many stores and restaurants. I  found  coupons  for  free taco's  and  two for one dinners that I never would had found reading online. I was also able to read the comic section in color on Sunday, Charlie, Lucy and Snoopy still make me laugh.

With all the political hate, and social media hoopla out there--along  locally on Kauai  with bill 2491 which has torn a community apart. It  finally  feels awesome to read a newspaper uninterrupted again without commenters ruining the  enjoyment of reading the paper.

I had forgotten the beauty and   fun of asking  others in the living room with you ,"could someone please pass me the sports section?

Hana Hou, (Encore)  Shared From Facebook... 

"Numerology..." 'Bettejo Dux' (Classic Wednesday)

Bettejo Dux has lived  on the Cosmic island  Garden Island
of Kaua'i over 30 years. She is a weekly columnist in the local
newspaper (The Garden Island News) and is a published author
of the Novella "The Scam." Order your copies below.
www.bettejodux.com

Numerology

As a devout non-believer, you'd probably be surprised to know how many 'believer friends' I have. Religious? Many and varied. Astrologers. Tarot Card readers. Spiritualists. Love them deeply. Pal with them often. None of them attempts to convert me and all are tolerant of my non belief.

I don't attempt to non convert them, either.

Was an honorary Jewess for a day at a Jewish friends' house last Passover. I love Matzos.

Do you know there are 313 religions and denominations in America? Many quite lovely. A few, certifiably insane. I'm very unfound of the fundamentalists, but that's okay, they are very unfounded of me too.  We have a mutual unfoundness.  I'm reminded time after time  immemorial, that I'm going to that hot spot. A place I don't think exists, but know to spend all eternity in their heaven with them would be he**.

I like the idea there are four Gods. A benevolent God. A distant God. A critical God and an  authoritative God.  I'd prefer a benevolent God, just haven't found one. Actually I think I'd prefer a Goddess.

So what's that to do with numerology?  In my life, for the past few weeks, I'd have managed better had I been quadruplets. Everything seemed to be happening all at the same time.  All of them priority items. Must be done. Now.

Has this ever happened to you?

It took effort, it took stamina, it took several sitting downs with myself to figure how to solve the problems. In what order? What was top priority today would be on the bottom of the list tomorrow. My new book, Children of the Extinction, ended up sadly on the bottom of the list every time. I miss them.  But I get closer every day.

Well, one of my best friends- I adore her-explained that because I was a Leo-a sensitive and Mars was in retrograde whaatever that is- I was in for a roller coaster ride. Big time.

Retrograde turned out to be a  real astronomical observation. Mars appears to be going backward in the sky, if you're a star watcher.  I don't think that made me feel better.

She also believes in numerology. I think they go together. So we sat down and went through all the numbers I have.  SS , two checkings, one saving.  driver's license, debit card, phone, birth date, name, and when we added them all together-since it was a 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9-it complicated things,  She wouldn't let me pick a number, any number, so we added all the numbers together, factored them down, and ended up with a nine.

According to her, nine is the height of vibration frequencies? It represents success, intellectual power, inventiveness, influence over situations and things. I'm supposed to recognize my own internal attributes and extend these abilities out into the world to make a positive influential difference.

I liked that better than the Mars retrograde thing.

Being a creative writer, imaginative, fun-loving,  tolerant, I've decided to try the numerology trip for a week. Wanna join Me?

Hana Hou, (Encore) Shared From Facebook...

"Where's your chicken..?" 'James "Kimo" Rosen'

For some reason people always confuse me with this guy,(Forest) although I look
nothing like him. People will always ask me when meeting for the first time, "Where's your chicken?"

This blog also appeared in the Kaua'i Garden Island News in my column called,"Kimo's world."
(10-21-13) Garden Island News, "Where's Your Chicken?" 
http://thegardenisland.com/news/opinion/guest/where-s-your-chicken/article_2c66ab46-39fd-11e3-a790-001a4bcf887a.html

Where's your chicken

The first question people usually ask  upon meeting me for the first time is, "where's your chicken?"   Many people confuse me  with my friend, "The Chicken Whisperer,"  named Forest. Forest is known for pedaling his bicycle around Kapa'a town with his foul  feathered friends hanging out  on his handlebars.  Although I look nothing like Forest, most people still believe I am him. Most everyone believes me to be the chicken man since I also pedal a bicycle around town with my dog. I have decided to go with the flow and channel  some words of wisdom on the beauty of Kauai's infamous foul creatures, the wild chickens of the "Cosmic  Garden island."

Chickens are the one animal that we need more than any other for survival, and Kaua'i has thousands of wild chickens, making it the wild chicken capital of the world.

The alleged reason for so many wild chickens on Kaua'i is during  hurricane Iniki in 1992 many chickens from local farms broke away during the catastrophic damages of the  storm. The wild  chickens breed like rabbits and are therefore everywhere, from personal residences, to every outdoor dining restaurant and points between.

Chicken can be prepared in numerous ways, from deep fried, to barbecued, to a nice saute in wine sauce, to many different Chinese, Japanese, Italian and Mexican dishes. If you include the egg as a chicken, then chicken is also an active ingredient in almost everything we eat, from bread, cakes, protein drinks and thousands of baked goods to the old standby breakfast omelets, scrambled eggs, over easy, poached, boiled and microwaved. There are egg salad sandwiches and chicken salad sandwiches. Chicken is the essence of the food chain.

The word "chicken" itself is used to describe someone who is afraid, and there is a good reason -- chickens are usually running from humans. The word is out that we use them as an ingredient in almost everything we eat.

The chicken is also an alarm clock, with the rooster crowing at the crack of dawn and all other regular intervals to manage time without a clock.Many visitors  get a kick out of Kauai’s wild chickens  even if they suffer from a 'Cock A Doodle Doo'-induced insomnia.

The infamous feathered creatures have a huge appetite for bugs, including the mean and nasty Hawaiian centipedes that can give you a paralyzing  painful bite.

We name many things after the chicken, we have the disease of chicken pox. We have expressions like, "your no spring chicken," don't count your chickens before they're hatched,"  to my favorite idiom of, "running around like a chicken with its head cut off."

Chicken soup is a healing serum used for colds, coughs and flu's. My ancestors called chicken soup "Jewish Penicillin."

"The Chicken Whisperer,"  when not pedaling his loyal feathered friends on his bicycle is often seen with crowds of people surrounding him and his wild  chickens as they take photos, tweet, and make Youtube video's right on the spot. 

The chicken also will act as a garbage disposal. When camping out, I see the chickens eating everything imaginable, even the unimaginable.

A rooster and a hen are the one pair of animals you would want if stranded on a deserted island.

Next time you see a wild Kaua'i chicken, stop and say, "Eerrrr eeeer eeeeer eeeeer, just don't ask me "where's your chicken?"

Chickens even hang out at the local library...

Hana Hou, (Encore) Shared From Youtube, a Youtube I filmed in 2008 of the Chicken man!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P9fm8ep8Fck

"There are still nice people out there.." 'Judith Whitehead' (Inspiration Sunday)

Judith Whitehead  lives in Amherst, N.Y. and has
worked in the ophthalmology field of medicine for
over 30 years. Today she talks about you, the nice people!.

Enjoy!

There are still nice people out there

This morning our waitress shared a heart warming story that needs to be passed along...

  Last week her 3 dogs brought home a dirty and mangy dog to her front porch  The dog had been out in the rain and seemed lost with no tag on her.  Being a dog lover, our friend the waitress took the dog in and called the dog warden to see if a dog had been reported missing.  In fact, he told her this dog had been reported missing a week ago and belonged to a blind little girl, it was a trained dog. 

The parents rushed over with a $500.00 reward and our friend  whole hearted declined the offer.  She felt she was meant to be the one to find the dog and was a dog lover and could not accept any reward.  The little girl was so happy to see the dog; that was reward enough.  The family  ended up giving her a \Petco gift card to use for her dogs.

There are still good people out there; still honest and kind people which renews our faith in human nature.    

Hana Hou, (Encore) Shared from Facebook...