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Thursday, March 27, 2014

"Never laugh at a Chinese...." 'Chester "Unc" Lau' (Source)

Dakinetalks favorite Uncle (Chester Lau)
"Unc" is a retired cinematographer currently living 
on the Hawai'ian Island of Oahu and giving the politicians a bad time...

Never laugh at a Chinese

A Chinese man walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. He tells the loan officer that he is going to China on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000.

The bank officer tells him that the bank will need some form of security for the loan, so the Chinese man hands over the keys to a new Ferrari parked on the street in front of the bank. He produces the title and everything checks out.

The Loan officer agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan. The bank's president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at the Chinese for using a $250,000 Ferrari as collateral against a $5,000 loan.
An employee of the bank then drives the Ferrari into the bank's underground garage and parks it there. 

Two weeks later, the Chinese returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41.

The loan officer says, 'Sir, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multi-millionaire. What puzzles us is why you would bother to borrow $5,000? The Chinese replies: 'Where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there safely when I return.'


A young "Unc"


P.S. from YouTube;
  A CNN news-clip about the new way to rip of cars.
https://www.youtube.com/embed/l7OadDz3Ums

Hana Hou, (Encore) Shared from Facebook...












31 comments:

KimoRosen said...

Unc, the Chinese business man was very smart. I would do the same if I was rich!

KimoRosen said...

Unc, Bettejo loves your post, I am hoping she makes it here to tell you herself!

Mitchel J. Schapira said...

JKR: If I were a rich man, da dada dada da da da -- "when you're rich they think you really know!"

Mitchel J. Schapira said...

The joke about the Chinese business man is a good one. I have heard it told with a Jew and a Blonde. I don't know enough about race relations on the Islands to know how this joke plays there, but it is a completely different joke when told about a Jew vs. a blonde. For the Jew, it re-inforces negative stereotypes of being cheap and crafty. For the blonde, it counters a stereotype -- she outwits the bankers. Funny how that works, huh? But, as they say, if you have to explain it, it's not funny.

KimoRosen said...

If I were a rich man,
Yubby dibby dibby dibby dibby dibby dibby dum.
All day long I'd biddy biddy bum.
If I were a wealthy man. http://www.stlyrics.com/.../fiddleron.../ifiwerearichman.htm
I wouldn't have to work hard.
Ya ha deedle deedle, bubba bubba deedle deedle dum.
If I were a biddy biddy rich,
Idle-diddle-daidle-daidle man.

If I Were a Rich Man Lyrics — Fiddler on the Roof Cast | from "Fiddler on the Roof"
www.stlyrics.com

KimoRosen said...

Mitchel, either way it's a very funny joke with truth, that's why it works!

Annie Sims said...

YouTube reply;

Thanks James it's shared

KimoRosen said...

YouTube reply;

Cars are now like computers, so it no longer takes blue collar tools, it takes hackers with computer minds and computer tools!

Rick Comstock said...

YouTube reply;
soooo Jimbo this advice gives Kauai a heads up.....we move so slow here and think we could not possible be mainlandish it will be at least 5 years out before we need to worry..... ;D)

Steven Eayrs said...

YouTube reply;

Would think car thefts are at a min on the island? A black market would be hard to hide.??

KimoRosen said...

YouTube reply;

so many transplants on Kauai, the person coming here would know tourism is at an all time high and visitors leave camera's and other expensive things in their rental cars. I actually think Kauai is prime... and ironically many criminal minds know nothing of this until CNN reports on it, which in essence gets the criminal mind thinking...

Steven Eayrs said...

YouTube reply;

So its the contents thieves go after, and not the car. I bet, the car itself likely ends up being found later after a joyride, and its trashed..

KimoRosen said...

YouTube reply;

Yes, did you watch the youtube? Definitely the contents here on the islands and where the video was shot.

Steven Eayrs said...

YouTube reply;

ok.... no I didn't look at, or even notice the youtube... was just curious and asking questions,.......which evidently would be been answered in the utube......ok.....I'm the prez... lol

KimoRosen said...

YouTube reply;

Steve, it's a CNN video free of any virus, less than two minutes, just click on URL at top of this thread...

Rick Comstock said...

YouTube reply;

@ Steve .... when I next make it to Homer (on my bucket list) I'll be sure to arrive with my little hand held to borrow your poles and tackle from your truck to fish .... ..... I bet there has been some fish bate or chum with the wise guy that gets caught up there.....

Harmony Bentosino said...

To Mitchel about racial stereotypes in Hawaii: The Chinese are considered to be like the Jews of Hawaii as far as being crafty about money. But it is meant more in fun and not considered negative or mean spirited.

Mitchel J. Schapira said...

Thank you for that Harmony. (People who tell anti-Semitic jokes claim that it is meant in fun and not mean-spirited. Who am I to look into their hearts?)

Harmony Bentosino said...

It is easier to tell ethnic jokes in Hawaii because every ethnic group is a minority.

KimoRosen said...

It's easy to tell an ethnic joke if your the ethnicity being joked about. For instance I'm Jewish like Harmony and Mitchel. I can tell a Jewish joke but don't like hearing them from non Jews... In the same essence a black person can call another black the N-word and get away with it, whereas a white person (Haole) wouldn't. Take it one step further, I would not had published "Unc's" joke if he wasn't Chinese. Funny the way we are?

Mitchel J. Schapira said...

My Dad wrote a book about Chinese Jews. I wonder how they would tell the joke.

KimoRosen said...

That's probably why Jews eat Chinese food on Christmas! ;D)

Mitchel J. Schapira said...

Do you remember that moment during the Elana Kagan at her confirmation hearings? Sen. Lindsey Graham asked her if she knew where she was when she heard about the Underwear Bomber's thwarted act of terrorism. It was a seemingly off the wall question. But as it turns out the Underwear Bomber was captured on Christmas. At first Justice Kagan gave a wan smile, but then it turned icy cold as she looked at Graham and said, "I suppose as a good Jew, I was probably eating Chinese food." I have despised Graham ever since, because it appears to me that his question was intended for one purpose: to underscore to his constituents that Kagan wasn't one of them. On the other hand, I loves me some Chinese food. Fun fact: my dad (him again) and Elana Kagan's dad were close friends.

KimoRosen said...

What's the title of your dad book? Is it online? Can I Google it?

Mitchel J. Schapira said...

It never got published. Yet. By the way, here's the Kagen testimony:

www.youtube.com/embed/Tku61sKhPGo

Steven Eayrs said...

YouTube reply;

Rick, Your welcome to chum along with the rest of us up here. (-:

KimoRosen said...

YouTube reply;

As in Chum salmon, AKA- stinky pinkies... ;D)

Steven Eayrs said...

YouTube reply;
And possibly chumming as in feeding the fish, etc.., hanging over the side of a rocking boat. ha!

KimoRosen said...

YouTube reply;

If I remember from my sourdough days we called the tourists 'Pukers,' since they all go on expensive charters of a lifetime and wind up loosing their insides on Alaska waters. Ha!

Steven Eayrs said...

YouTube reply;

"A bigger boat in bigger waves I might still do that, but not on my boat w/ fairly decent weather. I just don't go out when its rough....just occasionally need to find my way back home."

KimoRosen said...

YouTube reply;

That's why I always liked fishing for salmon from rivers and my favorite way to catch halibut was the time Steve Charves and i tied line between 2 dungeoness crab pots at low tied, waited for the next low tide, then check our pots and low and behold we caught two 30 lb halibut without going out on a boat! Ha!