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Saturday, November 1, 2014

"40 years of marriage..." 'Judith Whitehead' (Inspiration Sunday)


Judith Whitehead lives in Amherst New York and has worked in
the ophthalmology field of medicine for over 30 years.

40 years of marriage

I feel like I am in the minority these days for having been married 40 years this month; it seems that many in my age group and younger are on their second marriages or unattached.  Having gottenmarried at age 19,  I feel we have certainly beaten the odds.

  People were skeptical in the 70’s that acouple still going to college would make a go of it with so many obstacles’ in our way.   We literally hadjust enough money to put down a deposit on an economical apartment, used our wedding money to buy some furniture and were able to eat for $20.00 a week.  

Back then we shared a used car and paid about 50 cents a gallon for gas… back in the 70’s.  We had no cell phone bills to worry about, no ATM cards to deduct money with; if you ran out of money during the week you had better hit the bank before they closed or you were out of luck.  

We spent $1.50 for the cheep movies for entertainment  and spent many a night enjoying our black and white TV.  They were cheaper than color TV’s back then and weregood enough for us.  It wasn’t until the 1980’s that we bought our first color TV and it was only because we wanted our first born son to watch Sesame Street in color.  

Life was simple back then; the Internet that came along many years later was,  in a way, a mixed blessing.  It is so useful for so many things but yet I think it has made families less social than we were back in the 80’s.  

Now we go out to dinner and watch families with small children playing on their I pads instead of talking with mom and dad.  We did eat out quite a bit when the children were little, out little reward for a tough day spent.  We always traveled with a box of small toys, crayons etc to occupy them while we waited for dinner to arrive as
well as making sure they didn't annoy any other  adults at the time.  That fact has changed quite a bit as well.  Today small children seem to be allowed to run around a restaurant and annoy the other patrons; if our kids were too noisy, we took them out to the car for a little talk.  

Now as I reflect back on those growing up years, I miss them in a way. I don’t miss the meals on the run getting to baseball games and
other events.  I certainly don’t miss the teenage years for they were the most challenging, but I do miss our little family  and all the great vacations we took together.  Now our children are on two different
coasts and although they have started their own lives,  which they should have, I still do miss kidsgathering at the house and viewing the world in their young eyes.

When I say we have been married 40 years I have to pinch myself.  I thought that when my own parents were married that long, they were OLD!   They were no longer working at my age and were wintering in Florida every year.  

How times have changed; we have walked ourselves into a whole different lifestyle where the “I needs” are far greater than they ever were.  Very few “seniors”  can now retire in their early 60’s .  Far and few between are getting married at 19 yrs old and now the average age to marry seems to be closer to 30+, families are being started later and people will be working for much longer than they ever were.  Social security will be paying substantially more for someone who holds off retirement  until they reach 70.  The average life expectancy has been extended and the average age
now is 78 according to the census.  My own dad is going to turn 96 in 2015; he has definitely beaten the odds.  

 I will accept my 40th anniversary with grace and thankfulness that I have had the same reliable and caring, loving  husband since I was 19 yrs old.  We truly have held up our vows, for better or worse, through  sickness  and health and have literally grown up together.
Happy 40th Anniversary, Mazol Tov to Steve & Judy...
    
                               
Hana Hou, (Encore) Shared from Facebook...




15 comments:

KimoRosen said...

I remember gas at 25 cents a gallon, hamburgers at fast food for 15 cents and the one dollar movies... I used to cringe when my parents, said, "When I was your age... All I can say to the younger generation is, "I remember when I was your age..."

Chester "Unc" Lau said...

And attendants clean your wind shield ,check your gas & oil & hand you a Kosher sandwich -)

Anonymous said...

Yes, the days when gas station attendants pumped your gas, checked your oil and tire pressure And squeegeed your windshield and actually said thank you! All I can say ois those were the days! My parents also said that, and probably the kids growing up now will say the same thing 50 years from now, that these were the days.

Jaana Makipaa said...

Every generation always reflects on the past mostly with blind fondness, because hindsight is never 20/20. We forget that even 40 years ago our communities were far less equal, women had fewer rights or freedoms, divorce was a nasty word -which forced many abused women to remain in their marriages to avoid being shamed by their peers, back-alley abortions happened all the time, and more people died from what today is treatable.

I do feel bad that people in "normal" marriages don't try harder anymore before just filing for divorce. I guess people have gotten pretty lazy about trying to work through problems with each other, and... Well, that is a problem! We don't grow as individuals without learning how to work through problems.

As for gas stations: Hanamaulu gas station is my best friend! Although they aren't "full service" like in the old days, I really do appreciate having help pumping my gas!
I would be willing to pay a few cents more per gallon for actual full service (I'm talking about real "full service" like the old days: Check under the hood, check tires, clean windshield... Wow, that would be glorious! )

KimoRosen said...

Last time i was in Japan in 2001 they still had full service gas stations, and the barbers still give men a hot towel straight razor shave plus a woman to massage your scalp at all barber shops, did I mention too that tipping is taboo in Japan. I once left money on the table and the waitress came running after me... Taxi's no tipping, barbers and beauticians no tipping, restaurants no tipping! That's part of the Japanese culture. I loved it

Jaana Makipaa said...

The Japanese are incredibly honest & hard working & loyal people. I'm so glad to have been infused with that culture!
My big sister and me, Toyko.

KimoRosen said...

so cool, you still look like that little girl... The Japanese take pride in everything, even the McDonald's workers take pride and work like there's no tomorrow... Food is an art... Ok, enough rambling...

Chester "Unc" Lau said...

I was in the Military service for two years in Tokyo during the Korean war with my own car,love the culture,talent & courtesy of the people.especially the hot spring baths ...Ooh la la tres bien

Anonymous said...

Unc, Onsen's they called them, I loved the hot spring baths too...

Nancy Chamberland Bremer said...

Great picture...

Rosemary Pahl-Palmer said...

Happy Anniversary, again! LOL

Rosemary Pahl-Palmer said...

Very nice....

KimoRosen said...

....and.... drum rolllllllllllllllll, HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!

Chester "Unc" Lau said...

Yes ONSEN...Not only the water were clean & warm from the volcano's,male & females bathe in the same pool,were polite & respectful to each other,only separated by a single rope,can you
1see this happened in the US ? how about starting an ONSEN in Kauai ?surrounding by outdoor natural's tropical beauties eat your heart out America,learn how to live in PEACE instead of wars !!!

Francine Vitello said...

Happy Anniversary!!