"My 300th blog..!"

This being my three hundredth (300Th) blog, it's now time to reflect on the previous 299.

I can see from my blogs administration page how many people read my blogs. The stats are staggering, it itemizes how many people access through the different social medias, such as facebook and twitter and also lets you know stats on how many people in other countries are reading your blogs.

There are folks from Australia, Malaysia, Russia, Canada, Switzerland, S. Korea, Germany, Nepal, Slovenia, Hungary,Belize,China, Thailand, Japan, Israel and almost every state in the union has logged into my blog at one time or another.

Blogging is therapy and if someone reads my blog and enjoys it, I feel accomplished, on the other hand if you don't enjoy today's blog, check back tomorrow since you never know where blog therapy may take us. It may take us to laughter or sadness, you may agree or dis-agree, however one things for sure, it  sure beats a visit to the doctors office.

Hope you enjoy the next 300!

"Hawaiian fused..."

(Editor's note, an attempt at more local humor...More 'Spam' (Spam is a canned mix of animal by products, the stuff hot-dogs are made of and worse) is consumed in Hawaii than anywhere else in the world, "Ono" means delicious, tree is pidgin for three, da is the...)

Restaurants all have their speciality these days, it's hard to make it without something new and exotic.

There are now Mexican restaurants fused with Hawaiian, there's Italian cuisine fused with a local touch.

These all sound mouth watering and delicious, however truth be told I have found 'local touch' and 'Hawaiian cuisine' to mean mixed with Hawaii's favorite meat.

Yes ,Spam is the secret ingredient for the incredible fusion and local touch, tree cheers for da spam kine dat man kine tinks is ono!

"Let's go surfing now..!"

The song says, "Lets go surfin now, every-one's working now..."

Surfing is a passion, something that just came natural to me, I try to surf on a daily basis. Surfing has introduced me to many new friends and I always am amazed by how much I learn each new time I surf.

There are many ways one can learn to surf, I am self taught, it's good to have a clear mind and no distractions while surfing.

Do not surf if you are extremely tired, or have been drinking. Surfing should be taken serious and there is so much to learn, balance, good eyes, and a good brain are mandatory when it comes time to surf.

Please join me in surfing, you can start by visiting this blog http://www.dakinetalk.blogspot.com/  on a daily basis, from there feel free to engage yourself fully in the Internet, who knows where you'll wind up. You may even wind up surfing into a website on how to surf.

Let's go surfin on the Internet NOW! C'mon and join e-harmony with me..!

Isn't Kauai awesome! Fiction are non-fiction?

(editors note, the enclosed  piece is  my attempt at local fictional humor, this is a parody on many local events and laws...)

Barking dogs on ancient Hawaiian burial grounds awaiting the arrival of the super-ferry ...

The flood flights are on so the super-ferry can see where they're going as shear-water seabirds take their final kamikaze dive into the lights.

We disembark from the super-ferry and make a call from our car and get arrested for talking on our cell phones while driving as we find out our children are in juvie for playing cops and robbers with their toy guns.

We are now in the back of the patrol car on route to the police station and the officer gives us two more tickets, one for not wearing my seat-belt and another for smoking. I put my garbage in a plastic bag and get another ticket, since plastic bags have become illegal in "PARADISE" too...

My girl-friend looks at me and says she is glad the gays now have civil unions and hopes to get home soon and smoke some medical marijuana and tell me she's gay.

To relax we decide to go Larson's beach and lay out in our birthday suits and disturb nobody, as we hear a man in the distance yelling, "HAOLE'S GO HOME!" . Isn't Kaua'i awesome!

"Hope you make it..!"

None of us are getting any younger. Everyday we are all on day closer to what lies ahead.

Some believe in Heaven and Hell, others believe in re-incarnation and there are are those that believe in nothingness.

Orthodox Jews believe your soul lives on and will keep living in another human until such time as your G-dly mission is accomplished on earth.

Everyone believes something different about the afterlife, however anyone can experience heaven on earth especially those over 55.

Whatever your belief, since life is short, it's important when you get on in years to always go places and do things that offer a senior discount.

Here's how one can experience heaven on earth. Half price bus rides are available to seniors, discounted movie and concert tickets, plus many restaurants offer a senior menu, along with early bird specials.

The wait for heaven is over if you make it to 55! Hope you make it!

"Everyones been abused..."

The talk shows all interview celebrities with new books, it seems every celebrity who writes a book suddenly remembers some sort of sexual abuse while growing up, whether by a parent, sibling, uncle, cousin, or gym teacher.

They say in most cases sexual abuse is somebody the victim knows. A baby-sitter, a baseball coach, scout leader even the clergy are many times perpetrators of the such.

Thinking back on my childhood I can remember many instances that in these days may be construed as sexual abuse, but were in actuality just part of growing and being part of the human race.

My parents and many of your parents would be guilty in this day in age of child abuse if we were currently children.

If parents yell at their children, they are accused of verbal abuse, if they spank their children they are accused of physical abuse, and sometimes a simple hug may be interpreted as sexual abuse.

How many in my generation were spanked in public, or had the belt for punishment from their fathers? How many played doctor with their neighbors, "I'll show you mine if you show me yours?" How many played spin the bottle?

I remember my sister at age 16 going out with men in their 20's, of course with my parents approval.

Times were different back when, nowadays a teacher cannot even hug a student with fears the child will tell their parents and the parents interpret it as abuse and may ruin the teachers career.

Everyone is a victim these days, especially celebrities when it comes time to pitch their new books!

We have all either been physically, verbally or sexually abused. Next time you write a book, write a song or even blog, mention any kind of abuse and you are sure to prosper! I am hoping this blog  has many readers for the sheer reason it's about abuse.  ;D)

If all the abuses fail, you can always make up an addiction...

"Some good sh-t..."

My doctor told me he needed a stool sample to follow up on some blood work to see if some positive results are really positive.

 A sample of poop is the only true way to confirm. He proceeds to write the paper work and gives me a container to take to the diagnostic lab close to my home.

I collect a stool sample in an awkward urine sample container, it wasn't easy but I figured out how to do it, which I do not even want to write about.

The next day I walk to the diagnostic lab and couldn't wait to tell the technician behind the counter, "man have I got some good sh-t for you!" Back in the day that phrase was meant to mean marijuana, however in this case it really was sh-t.

I go to my backpack to find the container and realize I left it at home, I was freaking out. The woman tech calmed me down and said no worries, just leave your underwear. Of course she was joking, but I found it quite amusing in my hour of stress.