"George W. Bush Goes to the bank..." 'Chester "Unc" Lau'

Chester "Unc" Lau a retired Cinematographer currently residing
on the Hawaiian island Oahu talks story  about ex-President George W. Bush

"W" Goes To Da Bank

Ex President George W.Bush walks into a local bank in Crawford,Texas  to cash a check. He is surrounded by Secret Service agents. As he approaches the cashier he says, "Good morning Ma'am, could you please cash this check for me?"

Cashier:
"It would be my pleasure sir. Could you please show me your ID?"

Bush:
"Truthfully, I did not bring my ID with me as I didn't think there was any need to. I am  George W.Bush, the former President of the United States of AMERICA !!!!"

Cashier:
"Yes sir, I know who you are, but with all the regulations and monitoring of the banks because of9/11, impostors, forgers, money laundering, and bad mortgage underwriting not to mention requirements of the Dodd/Frank legislation, etc., I must insist on seeing ID."

Bush:
“Just ask anyone here at the bank who I am and they will tell you. Everybody knows who I am."

Cashier:
"I am sorry Mr. President but these are the bank rules and I must follow them."

Bush:
"I am urging you, please, to cash this check. I need to buy a gift for Laura for Valentine’s Day"

Cashier:
"Look Mr. President, here is an example of what we can do. One day, Tiger Woods came into one of our bank branches without ID. To prove he was Tiger Woods he pulled out his putter and made a beautiful shot across the bank into a coffee cup. With that shot we knew him to be Tiger Woods and cashed his check.”
“Another time, Andre Agassi came into the same place without ID. He pulled out his tennis racket and made a fabulous shot whereas the tennis ball landed in a coffee cup. With that shot we cashed his check.
So, Mr. President, what can you do to prove that it is you, and only you, as the President of the United States?"

Bush stands there thinking, and thinking, and finally says, "Honestly, my mind is a total blank...there is nothing that comes to my mind. I can't think of a single thing. I have absolutely no idea what to do and I don’t have a clue. except starting a few more wars ”

Cashier:
"Will that be large or small bills, Mr. President?"

Hana Hou, (Encore) Shared from Facebook...

My favorite joke from the Whitehouse Correspondence Dinner;
“Second term, you need a burst of new energy, try some new things. And my team and I talked about it. We were willing to try anything. So we borrowed one of Michelle’s tricks.” —President Obama at the 04-27-13 White House Correspondents’ Dinner: http://wh.gov/tzf5

"A World Without Books..." 'Bettejo Dux' (Classic Thursday)

Bettejo  has lived on Kaua'i over 30 years and is a people lover,
animal lover, lover of life and strikes a dashing yoga pose...
Today she talks  about her love of books! Enjoy...

www.bettejodux.com

                               

A World Without Books


Chris Hedges indicated in his book Death of the Liberal Class, if we didn't find a way to change things-'rebel don't revolt'-  we will end up in  a world in which we would  not want to live. I agree.

I could not live, I would not want to live, in a world without books. I am surrounded by books. On just about every subject: History, Nutrition, Psychology, Math, Fiction, Poetry. You name it. There is very little I need to know about the world that I can't find in a book here somewhere.

I don't read books. I consume them. I turn down the pages, write in the margins, fight with the authors on a variety of different subjects. I can go back to this very same book, sitting on a dusty shelf, sneeze, open it up and peruse the margins. The arguments. I can actually see how I've grown, or  changed, or gone down a different path.

Books are my friends. I've-I should say my family-has  carried them about in our travels for years. Fifty. Sixty. Books beloved in my childhood. Alice in Wonderland. The Jungle Book.  My husband was n love with Kipling's poetry. I was in love with Rikki Tikki Tavi.  Shere Khan. Mowgli.

I took an acid trip-one-in the sixties and went down Alice's rabbit hole. One of the most beautiful. mind-blowing-experiences in my life. So beautiful I never took another, Thinking: what if it were as bad as this one was good? Actually, I don't think my mind would send me on a bad one and, maybe, like Timothy Leary- the father of LSD-I'll go out on one.

I'll set the scene. Out in my jungle, under a blazing blanket  of stars, a setting moon, overwhelmed by the scent of Sanseseria and Plumeria, sung to by a whisper soft breeze, a cricket  song, surrounded by my beloved animals-my horse, I'll aways have one- my dog. Maybe Duke, my macaw-who will outlive me- standing vigilant  guard, a silent winged guide. I'll clutch in my hand my favorite book, maybe the battered and tattered  Thurber Carnival. Sip  slowly a glass of cold Chardonnay- how will that go with acid, I wonder-and hele on.

But I digress.

I have  in my reference library a MCMLXX MCMLXXV (my computer does not even recognize this) copy of Funk and Wagnalls New Encyclopedia in which in volume P, there are ten pages about Palestine and a beautiful picture of Dorothy Rothschild,  better known as Dorothy Parker, (1893-1967). Maybe I'll take that, too.

Dorothy's dead and gone.   Once I had a very nasty generals wife tell me there was not, nor had there ever been, a country named Palestine. She lied through her teeth.However, I do have a recent copy of one of the silly modern paperbacks-The Far East for Dummies,whatever-that never even mentions it. An entire country down the memory hole.

Goebbels said, "...if you lie big enough and keep repeating it, people will eventually believe it."

Aldous Huxley said, "Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored."

Understandable why Hitler burned books.

Maybe I'll have a Viking's Funeral with my books as tinder.

Hell no. I'll leave them behind for dumbed down brown-shirted Americans to roast what's left of their empty brains in.

A world without books? No thanks.

Hana Hou, (Encore) Shared from Facebook...

"My One Thousandth Blathering Blog..." 'James "Kimo" Rosen'

One of the things I am most proud of on Kaua'i was leading the
Pro-Superferry Rallies...This started my interest in blogging, politics and blathering...

My 1,000TH Blathering Blog

I continue on my daily blathering blog sojourn, through the blogosphere of the cyber-wold, anticipating the day I reach blog #1,000. That day is today!

First, I wish to thank all of the people who have guest-blogged over the years and most important the readers. We have gone from 15-20 hits a day to an average of 300 hits a day, somewhere between 200 and 400 depending on how the stars align.

I was going to quit and retire as a blogger at 1,000 but was encouraged by many fans of the blog to carry on.  I have also become addicted to blogging, it is an adrenaline rush having a daily blog and is one of the main things I look forward to on a daily basis.

The main question I am asked, "is a daily blog hard to commit to?" Not really because many times I write 5 or more blogs a day and on my administration page I am always 14-20 blogs ahead. The blogs are scheduled to run automatically, even If I die Dakinetalk blog will continue for a few weeks even after I am gone there will be one blog born to carry on, carry on...  

... And now that I have  reached my historic one thousandth blog I will do an edit to make a book out of the best of the best  blogs  I penned that have appeared over the last 4 years.

My first idea for a name is the Blathering blogger..?  Any suggestions?

 Ten years ago if you would had told me I would have been publishing a daily blog, I would had replied, "What's a blog..?" 

Ten years from now if you tell me my blog book is on the N.Y. Times best seller list, I will know I have died and gone to heaven.

"What's next..?"

Hana Hou,(Encore) Shared from Facebook...

"Three Kick Rule..." 'Chester "Unc" Lau' (Source)

Dakinetalks favorite Uncle (Chester Lau)

Unc talks  about a very special lawyer!

"Unc" is a retired cinematographer currently living 

on the Hawai'ian Island of Oahu & giving the politicians a bad time...

A New York lawyer went duck hunting in Truro . He shot and dropped a
 bird, but it fell into a farmer's field on the other side of a fence.

 As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing. The litigator responded, "I shot a duck and it fell in this field, and now I'm going to retrieve it."

 The old farmer Peter replied, "This is my property, and you are not
 coming over here."

The indignant lawyer said, "I am one of the best trial lawyers in
not only New York but the whole world and, if you don't let me get that duck, I'll sue you and take everything you own."

 The old farmer smiled and said, "Apparently, you don't know how we settle disputes in Arkansas. We settle small disagreements like this with the 'Three Kick Rule.'

The lawyer asked, "What is the 'Three Kick Rule'?"
The Farmer replied, "Well, because the dispute occurs on my land, I get to go first.

I kick you three times and then you kick me three times and so on back and forth until someone gives up."

The lawyer quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that he could easily take the old codger. He agreed to abide by the local custom.
 The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the attorney.

His first kick planted the toe of his heavy steel-toed work boot into
 the lawyer's groin and dropped him to his knees !
 His second kick to the midriff sent the lawyer's last meal gushing from his mouth.

 The lawyer was on all fours when the farmer's third kick to his rear
 end, sent him face-first into a fresh cow pie.
 Summoning every bit of his will and remaining strength the lawyer very slowly managed to get to his feet.

Wiping his face with the arm of his jacket, he said, "Okay, you old
 fart Now it's my turn."
(I love this part)

THE OLD FARMER SMILED AND SAID, "NAH, I GIVE UP. YOU CAN HAVE THE DUCK."

When you are educated, you'll believe only half of what you hear.
 When you're intelligent, you know which half.
Ha ha ha   I give up  !!!

Hana Hou, (Encore) Shared from Facebook...

"Mahalo-Until we meet again...‏" 'James "Kimo" Rosen'

This sign is the sign you see upon leaving Kaua'i's main airport in Lihu'e.
It reads, Mahalo, Until we meet again. The sign should read. A Hui Hou, (Until we meet again)

Mahalo-Until we meet again...‏

There is a sign upon approaching the Kauai airport that reads in big bold Type, "Mahalo, and underneath it reads , "until we meet again."

This is confusing since Mahalo translates to Thank you and Until we meet again translates to A Hui Hou.

This  reminds me of the visitor that thinks Mahalo translates to garbage can, since they see Mahalo written on most rubbish containers.

The signage   makes our Visitors Bureau and County  look like  they think 'Mahalo' translates to, 'Until We Meet Again." The sign should be  replaced with "A Hui Hou, Until we meet again."

May I say to everyone reading this Aloha, Thank you very much.

Hana Hou, (Encore) Shared from Facebook...



One day a little boy woke up and sat down at the table expecting breakfast. However, his mother says, "You don't get any breakfast until you do your chores."

---

A little pissed off, the boy goes out to do his chores. When he goes to milk the cow, he kicks it. When he goes to get eggs he kicks a chicken, and when he goes to feed the pigs, he kicks a pig.

When the little boy sits down his mother gives him a bowl of dry cereal. "Where is the bacon, eggs and milk?" asks the little boy. His mother replies, "I saw you kick the cow, so you don't get any milk; I saw you kick a chicken so you don't get eggs; and I saw you kick a pig so you don't get any bacon!"

Just as she finishes saying this, the boy's father comes down the stairs and kicks the cat. The little boy looks up at his mother and asks, "Do you want to tell him, or should I?"

" The Modern Age of Airline Courtesy..." 'Judith Whitehead' (Inspiration Sunday)

"Guest-blogger Judith Whitehead lives in Amherst N.Y. and has worked in the

 ophthalmology field of medicine for over 30 years...
Today she talks about f;lying the unfriendly skies 
and how flying ain't what it used to be.
   Enjoy...  ;D)

The Modern Age of Airline Courtesy

I am old enough to remember the way flying the friendly skies used to be; recently taking a trip out west, flying on Southwest...the no frills flight, we came upon a very unfriendly flight crew both coming and going to California.  What are the chances to have the same crew both ways?  

Years ago flying used to be a very enjoyable experience. The flight crews fed you a nice meal with choices, played games with you on the flights, cards, etc and the pilots were more than happy to show you the cockpit and give you a pair of flight wings for a memento...

  The stewardess which is what they were called back then, were friendly and well kept and more than happy to serve you.  today...a different story, the days of the hot towel to freshen up are long gone. Now you enter the plane  with  a heard of people, hopefully you got an A list seat or its the back of the plane for you, you get little to eat, just a few snacks, and many of the flight attendants make it clear they are just doing their job.  Many don't even crack a smile and are almost rude when asked a question.  The days of full service are a thing of the past but one thing remains the same....the high price of flying.  

There are some deals out there but you better make it your full time job to search then out.  The prices change daily for the same flights and better pack light ..there is a fee for suitcases on board now for all airlines except Southwest.  Suitcase too heavy?? extra fee for that too.  Flying is essential at times so welcome to the year 2013; the days of full service and friendly skies are over.

Hana Hou, (Encore) Shared from Facebook...

"Kauai Bus Testimony For County Council..." 'James "Kimo" Rosen'

The Kaua'i Bus is a great alternative, with gas at almost $5.00 a gallon
and traffic at all time stress levels, it's time for all of  us  to ride Da Bus!

Aloha  Kaua'i County Council, Let this act as my public  testimony in favor of free bus rides not just for County council members, county employee's and the Mayor, but for the community at large!

 County council members  can ride the bus for free and still  receive from  us (The taxpayer) $500 a month car allowance along with a very generous $58,000 salary, great health Insurance  for what is deemed a part time job.   

Councilwoman Yukimura in her recent TGI article asked for testimony concerning Kauai Bus. 

 Here's my testimony;
 We  should all be granted the perk  of riding  the bus for free, why  are the ones with generous salaries allowed to ride the bus for free while others on limited budgets and those  working 2 and 3 jobs must pay?

 There is a solution for more revenues and allowing every citizen to ride the bus for free.

The bus could  sell advertising, in essence the bus becomes a traveling billboard  with large ads on the outside and smaller ads on the inside. This way everyone could ride for  free, or option #2, Kamaaina  with local ID ride for free while visitors pay.

 Many periodicals do the same thing, they give the magazines and newspapers away free since  they rely on advertising verses subscription revenue. 

 Please allow this blog to act as my public testimony as a way to generate more revenues which in turn will allow for  more bus routes and more buses.  

I am proud yet humbled to say I lobbied for the recently added bus stop at the fruit stand in Moloaa, it took a few years of letter writing but eventually became a reality.


Hana Hou, (Encore)  Shared From Facebook...