"Never laugh at a Chinese...." 'Chester "Unc" Lau' (Source)

Dakinetalks favorite Uncle (Chester Lau)

"Unc" is a retired cinematographer currently living 

on the Hawai'ian Island of Oahu and giving the politicians a bad time...

Never laugh at a Chinese

A Chinese man walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. He tells the loan officer that he is going to China on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000.

The bank officer tells him that the bank will need some form of security for the loan, so the Chinese man hands over the keys to a new Ferrari parked on the street in front of the bank. He produces the title and everything checks out.

The Loan officer agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan. The bank's president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at the Chinese for using a $250,000 Ferrari as collateral against a $5,000 loan.
An employee of the bank then drives the Ferrari into the bank's underground garage and parks it there. 

Two weeks later, the Chinese returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41.

The loan officer says, 'Sir, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multi-millionaire. What puzzles us is why you would bother to borrow $5,000? The Chinese replies: 'Where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there safely when I return.'

A young "Unc"

P.S. from YouTube;
  A CNN news-clip about the new way to rip of cars.
https://www.youtube.com/embed/l7OadDz3Ums

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"Fun..." 'Bettejo Dux' (Classic Wednesday)

Bettejo Dux has lived on the cosmic Garden Island of Kaua'i for over 40 years.
Bettejo is a regular columnist in the Garden Island news and is the author of the
famed novella, "The Scam." Today she blogs about FUN, FUN, FUN!!
www.bettejodux.com

Fun

Fun is a three-letter word. Easy to read. Easy to pronounce.Hurrah. Hurrah. Find it on page 734 in the trusty Third Edition of  the American Heritage dic-tion-ar-y—honest, that’s what it says on the cover—and the definition of FUN is brief. I’ll accept the first.

1. A source of enjoyment, amusement, or pleasure, often noisy activity. It does go on. Eight lines that it takes my 83-year-old eyes specs and a magnifying glass to read.

And then there’s a USAGE NOTE that chatters and clatters  on for 20 more lines!? The end of which states: “At present however, the ‘attributive’ use (whatever that is) of fun may still raises eyebrows, and writers who want to stay on the safe side are advised to avoid….”

Yeah? Well tell it to da judge. Don’t tell me you fat three- letter- word over weight dic-tion-ar-y thingie what to avoid. Anyhow, I was never comfortable on the safe side. The safe side ain’t no fun. No how. I’d rather play the playfully incorrect game. Wouldn't you?

I mean fun should be funny. Foolish. Silly. Amusing. Entertaining. Enjoyable.Have fun watching the herd-that’s the human herd-splashing at the beach. Surfing. Climbing and falling graceful- no broken limbs-out of trees. Feeding and window shopping at the malls.  Skating, biking, strolling on the scenic paths  or hiking in the hills. Young humanoids playing in a play ground.

Having fun is a very healthy  occupation. We should all indulge more.

Noisy activity? You betcha. Sing. Dance. Twang a guitar or a uke.  Enjoy a lively raucous-but peaceful-debate or conversation. Kick up your heels, it’s later than you think.

Hop, skip and jump. Clap you hands and chortle.

Watch other living things have fun. A dog chasing  a ball or its tail or just goofing around. A cat or a kitten batting a ball of string. I think birds have fun flying and dolphins and whales have fun cavorting in the sea and sleek  monk seals have fun soaking up sun on  the sand.  I think everything’s more fun when  it’s free.

‘Course it’s also fun to share a glass of wine, a bite of cheese,  a crunchy cracker. A slurpy chocolate ice cream on a stick. A cookie. A cuppa aromatic nose twitching coffee or  tea or a beer on a lanai or a porch or a garage turned into a party place when friends come calling.

At this very moment I’m having fun watching a speckled hen appear and disappear in a shady and  sun speckled  bank. The sun is out. They bask. A red necked crowing rooster follows at a distance.  They have a happy, healthy, freedom loving family. They swallow earth worms whole.

Robert Louis Stevenson, a Scott-he’s got a bar at the Hyatt, a fun place- said, “The world is so full of a number of things, I think we should all be as happy as kings.”

Maybe that should read, “The days are filled  with the funniest things, I think we should all be as funny as kings.”

Fast curtain

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"Identity theft, or not..?" 'James "Kimo" Rosen

James "Kimo"Rosen is  a retired professional photographer living in Kapa'a
with his best friend Obama da Dog. Rosen also blogs as a hobby.
This blog centers on the fastest growing crime in America, "Identity Theft."
Wait a second the guy in the photo is not Rosen?  Help Police!
Seriously folks, this is a major problem and growing by the day. Please read and pass it on...

This blog also appeared as my bi-weekly column in the Kaua'i Garden Island news
on 03-24-14 with the title " Identity theft, or not?" 
http://thegardenisland.com/news/opinion/guest/identity-theft-or-not/article_2d61f72a-b30c-11e3-9a42-0019bb2963f4.html                         "

Identity theft, or not

I like to call it  electronic pick pocketing, most call it Identity theft.  Either way it is currently the number one crime in America.

The joke goes, "It's true what they say about identity theft being on the increase. I woke up this morning and didn't know who I was."

Seriously, there was a salesman making the rounds in the retirement community where I reside. He was allegedly selling some sort of cellular phone service. He knocked on my door and before he  finished his spiel I said, "not interested."He left cussing me loudly behind his breath, as I pondered if I may had been a little short with him?

I peeked out the curtain as old people like to do and saw my female neighbor mesmerized, talking story with this slick young good looking salesman in her yard.

After the salesman left I called that neighbor and inquired if she bought into his deal and if she had given him any debit or credit card numbers? She said she hadn't, I was relieved she had not bought anything from this man since  I received some really bad energies from him.

... However the salesman before departing her place asked her if he could take a photo of her drivers license, she obliged with letting him take a photo of her Hawai'i  state issued ID. I was besides myself, I was going postal on my neighbor, I was freaking out.

How can anyone let a total stranger come into  their home and allow them to try and sell you something, then when you don't buy anything  they ask for your ID to take a photo of it, and you oblige  them?

I was furious, after-all there all no soliciting signs all over this 55 and over retirement community and second I was outraged this man was preying on seniors. You read about identity theft all the time but never think it will happen to you, your neighbors or your loved ones.

I was hot, I called as many of my neighbors as I had phone numbers on and gave them the heads up and to beware of a man on the prowl.

Finally after contemplating the situation I called the police. I never call the police, I hate calling the police, however in this case I felt justified. I felt my neighbors and  friends were being preyed upon  about by a thief. This man was taking advantage of vulnerable people that sometimes just  need someone to talk to.

The police arrived and detained and questioned the salesman. The police agreed with me that there was something fishy going on, however get this; the neighbor whose ID he photographed did not care to press any charges.  The police then told my neighbor she can not complain in 2 or 3 months from now if there are unwarranted charges on her bank statements for items she never ordered or fake ID issued with her name.

The police agreed with me, my neighbor didn't. Just wish the police would had found enough evidence to stop this man before he finds you. 

Identity theft  is the fastest growing crime in America. The number of identity theft incidents has reached 9.9 million a year, according to the Federal Trade commission.

Be vigilant and report any suspicious phone solicitations, emails asking for personal information, or door to door salespeople demanding identification. These are the modern day Bonny and Clyde's, they must be stopped!

This is me 1982, Rocky River Alaska!

http://thegardenisland.com/news/opinion/guest/identity-theft-or-not/article_2d61f72a-b30c-11e3-9a42-0019bb2963f4.html

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"Renew, refresh and schmooze ..." 'Judith Whitehead' (Inspiration Sunday)

Judith Whitehead lives in Amherst New York and has worked in

the ophthalmology field of medicine for over 30 years.

Renew, refresh and schmooze 

This week Friday will be not only a TGIF day but the annual Ophthalmology seminar that I will attend in Rochester at Strong Hospital.

 It's a time to renew, refresh and schmooze with all my colleagues that attend from the East Coast.  It is always well attended and brings a new prospective to my profession.  Good food, good company and new knowledge...a winning combination..and...it's supposed to NOT snow on Friday.

Thank you  Spring Gods.

P.S. Check out this YouTube!
How can anyone on Kaua'i not want a dairy farm? They say be kind to udders!

https://www.youtube-nocookie.com/embed/lXKDu6cdXLI?rel=0

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"Beer or face creme... " 'Obama Da Dog' (Source) (From Facebook)

Obama Da Dog lives in Kapa'a Hawai'i with her best friend
James "Kimo" Rosen. Obama is a regular contributor to dakinetalk, although at times
she is constipated too...   ;D)

Beer or face creme

A husband and wife are shopping in their local Wal-Mart. The husband picks up a ...case of Miller Lite and puts it in their cart.

'What do you think you're doing?' asks the wife. 'They're on sale, only $10 for 24 cans', he replies. 'Put them back, it's a waste of money', demands the wife, and so he does and they carry on shopping.

A few aisles further on along, the woman picks up a $20 jar of ...face cream and puts it in the basket.

What do you think you're doing?' asks the husband... "It's my face cream. It makes me look beautiful,' replies the wife.

Her husband retorts: 'So does 24 cans of Miller Lite and it's half the price....'

HUSBAND DOWN, AISLE 7 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Just Say Yes..!" 'James "Kimo" Rosen'

Dats Me!  James "Kimo" Rosen. This blog also appeared as an opinion
article in the 03-18-14 edition of the Honolulu Staradvertiser.
http://staradvertiser.newspaperdirect.com/epaper/viewer.aspx

Just Say Yes!

No to the Superferry, no to plastic bags, No to GMO's, no to more roads, no to  a Walmart super center and currently no to a dairy. There is a group on Kauai we refer to as the Anti's, formerly known as the contrarians.

Anti's are basically against anything that   could help civilization progress into the 21st century. Most anti's are transplants from the mainland USA, most are liberal.  The anti's are usually active in politics and one of the first things they do upon relocating to a new community is register to vote.

Many  local people  have given up on the political process, and for good reason. The dilemma lies in that there is a large number of born and raised local that wanted a ferry system, that wanted a Walmart super center, wanted more roads and want the Rainbow papaya industry to continue.  

Everyone needs to vote, we may not have the best choices and more times than not we vote for the better of the two evils.

It's time to say yes! Please everyone, register to vote, and then don't forget to vote. Yes is not a dirty word! 


P.S.
This blog also appeared a an opinion article in the 03-18-14 edition of The Honolulu Staradvertiser.

Aloha, check out my  opinion article in  the 03-18-14 edition of the  Honolulu Staradvertiser. Since they have a paywall and most of you are not subscribers I have therefore copy and pasted it below;

Kauai’s ‘antis’ intimidate locals 

No to the Superferry, no to plastic bags, no to GMOs, no to more roads, no to a Walmart super center. There is a group on Kauai we refer to as the “antis,” formerly known as the contrarians.

Antis are basically against anything that could help civilization progress. Most antis are transplants from the mainland, most are liberal. The antis are usually active in politics and one of the first things they do upon relocating to a new community is register to vote.

Many local people have given up on the political process, and for good reason. There is a large number of born-and-raised locals who want progress but are afraid to speak.

It’s time to say yes. Please everyone, register to vote, and don’t forget to vote. Yes is not a dirty word.

James “Kimo” Rosen
Kapaa, Kauai
http://staradvertiser.newspaperdirect.com/epaper/viewer.aspx

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" Movie Stars and stuff " 'Bettejo Dux (Classic Wednesday)

Bettejo Dux has lived on the cosmic Garden Island of Kaua'i for over 40 years.Bettejo is a regular columnist in the Garden Island news and is the author of the
famed novella, "The Scam."
www.bettejodux.com
Please note; Bettejo is writing about this since there was a recent call for extras for the upcoming filming of the fourth movie in the blockbuster dinosaur franchise.
 'Jurassic Park' set to begin filming on Kaua'i this Spring. 
http://thegardenisland.com/news/local/a-jurassic-audition/article_888b20ca-ad91-11e3-a863-0019bb2963f4.html?_dc=921306638745.5911

 Movie Stars and stuff 

“I was a movie star once.”

“Ignore her. She’s trying out for a part in Jurassic World.”

“The oldest lady dinosaur in the flock?”

“Did dinosaurs come in flocks?”

“They came in herds-herbivores- or packs-carnivores. I’m surrounded by idiots. Shut up and eat your cracker. This is my story.”

“Pass the dip.”

“It was a hundred years ago. We were beautiful then.”

“This cracker is stale and the dip’s icky.”

“Columbia Pictures had blocked pesos in the Philippines, so they sent a flock of Hollywood types, a director, a darling starlit, a handsome guy who wore makeup in the day time and a couple of really weird scripts. I was a darling on the stage of the Manila Theater Guild and all guild members tried out for parts. I was cast as a singer.

Our set was a dive on the waterfront. I wore a black lace terno. Fitted to the knees and then flared, I loved it. Gorgeous sleeves. It was beautiful. It was me. It was mine.”

“Major production. Bring your own costume.”

“Yeah? Well, the night of first filming was big time.The entire  block around the joint was cordoned off. Yellow ribbons, cops galore. We arrived on the set in long black limousines. Glorious stars on a red carpet.  It was a dance hall and a bar, while bright white whirligig lights-the rage of olden days-spun and spattered as extras danced the night away on a cold hard solid concrete floor.

I think it must have taken twenty shots to get me through my big scene. I’m a terrible singer. But between takes I sat at a round table with the handsome Hollywood actor drinking coca cola laced with rum. My performance kept getting better and better. So I was told.

Between sacred move star land there was a  bar where commoners were corralled   behind a four-foot high concrete wall. But it wasn’t long before a tipsy scruffy groundling clambered over the wall and walked a crooked mile to our star-studded table.”

“I know who you are,” he blubbered  and began at the top of a list of famous names in the movie business. I shook my head. At the end of the list he slobbered in nasty anger, “Then who are you?”

“I’m Bettejo Dux,”I responded hiccuping with great dignity.

“Never heard of’ya,” he stumbled his way back to the wall and disappeared head first, ass over tea kettle, on there other side. I hoped he landed on his head.

“Isn't that  pain in the neck?” My handsome companion said, continuing to rub my foot. Standing for hours holding up a mike does make your feet hurt. “Being accosted by creeps like that is part of the price we pay for fame.

“The price is too high.” I wobbled from the table took center stage and did a perfect take. All the extras  applauded. They could rest their feet.


I don’t like making movies. Being yelled at by a director with a bull horn is not healthy.

Movie star, Bettejo Dux
(Pronounce Dukes) on far right---Fast curtain...

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