"Let's go surfing now..!"

The song says, "Lets go surfin now, every-one's working now..."

Surfing is a passion, something that just came natural to me, I try to surf on a daily basis. Surfing has introduced me to many new friends and I always am amazed by how much I learn each new time I surf.

There are many ways one can learn to surf, I am self taught, it's good to have a clear mind and no distractions while surfing.

Do not surf if you are extremely tired, or have been drinking. Surfing should be taken serious and there is so much to learn, balance, good eyes, and a good brain are mandatory when it comes time to surf.

Please join me in surfing, you can start by visiting this blog http://www.dakinetalk.blogspot.com/  on a daily basis, from there feel free to engage yourself fully in the Internet, who knows where you'll wind up. You may even wind up surfing into a website on how to surf.

Let's go surfin on the Internet NOW! C'mon and join e-harmony with me..!

Isn't Kauai awesome! Fiction are non-fiction?

(editors note, the enclosed  piece is  my attempt at local fictional humor, this is a parody on many local events and laws...)

Barking dogs on ancient Hawaiian burial grounds awaiting the arrival of the super-ferry ...

The flood flights are on so the super-ferry can see where they're going as shear-water seabirds take their final kamikaze dive into the lights.

We disembark from the super-ferry and make a call from our car and get arrested for talking on our cell phones while driving as we find out our children are in juvie for playing cops and robbers with their toy guns.

We are now in the back of the patrol car on route to the police station and the officer gives us two more tickets, one for not wearing my seat-belt and another for smoking. I put my garbage in a plastic bag and get another ticket, since plastic bags have become illegal in "PARADISE" too...

My girl-friend looks at me and says she is glad the gays now have civil unions and hopes to get home soon and smoke some medical marijuana and tell me she's gay.

To relax we decide to go Larson's beach and lay out in our birthday suits and disturb nobody, as we hear a man in the distance yelling, "HAOLE'S GO HOME!" . Isn't Kaua'i awesome!

"Hope you make it..!"

None of us are getting any younger. Everyday we are all on day closer to what lies ahead.

Some believe in Heaven and Hell, others believe in re-incarnation and there are are those that believe in nothingness.

Orthodox Jews believe your soul lives on and will keep living in another human until such time as your G-dly mission is accomplished on earth.

Everyone believes something different about the afterlife, however anyone can experience heaven on earth especially those over 55.

Whatever your belief, since life is short, it's important when you get on in years to always go places and do things that offer a senior discount.

Here's how one can experience heaven on earth. Half price bus rides are available to seniors, discounted movie and concert tickets, plus many restaurants offer a senior menu, along with early bird specials.

The wait for heaven is over if you make it to 55! Hope you make it!

"Everyones been abused..."

The talk shows all interview celebrities with new books, it seems every celebrity who writes a book suddenly remembers some sort of sexual abuse while growing up, whether by a parent, sibling, uncle, cousin, or gym teacher.

They say in most cases sexual abuse is somebody the victim knows. A baby-sitter, a baseball coach, scout leader even the clergy are many times perpetrators of the such.

Thinking back on my childhood I can remember many instances that in these days may be construed as sexual abuse, but were in actuality just part of growing and being part of the human race.

My parents and many of your parents would be guilty in this day in age of child abuse if we were currently children.

If parents yell at their children, they are accused of verbal abuse, if they spank their children they are accused of physical abuse, and sometimes a simple hug may be interpreted as sexual abuse.

How many in my generation were spanked in public, or had the belt for punishment from their fathers? How many played doctor with their neighbors, "I'll show you mine if you show me yours?" How many played spin the bottle?

I remember my sister at age 16 going out with men in their 20's, of course with my parents approval.

Times were different back when, nowadays a teacher cannot even hug a student with fears the child will tell their parents and the parents interpret it as abuse and may ruin the teachers career.

Everyone is a victim these days, especially celebrities when it comes time to pitch their new books!

We have all either been physically, verbally or sexually abused. Next time you write a book, write a song or even blog, mention any kind of abuse and you are sure to prosper! I am hoping this blog  has many readers for the sheer reason it's about abuse.  ;D)

If all the abuses fail, you can always make up an addiction...

"Some good sh-t..."

My doctor told me he needed a stool sample to follow up on some blood work to see if some positive results are really positive.

 A sample of poop is the only true way to confirm. He proceeds to write the paper work and gives me a container to take to the diagnostic lab close to my home.

I collect a stool sample in an awkward urine sample container, it wasn't easy but I figured out how to do it, which I do not even want to write about.

The next day I walk to the diagnostic lab and couldn't wait to tell the technician behind the counter, "man have I got some good sh-t for you!" Back in the day that phrase was meant to mean marijuana, however in this case it really was sh-t.

I go to my backpack to find the container and realize I left it at home, I was freaking out. The woman tech calmed me down and said no worries, just leave your underwear. Of course she was joking, but I found it quite amusing in my hour of stress.

"Cats, cats and more cats..."

I was watching American idol and heard what sounded like many cats conversing outside my door. I went outside flashlight in hand to survey the situation and see what the cats were up to. Looking under bushes, up trees and even on my rooftop, no cats, but the constant meowing of what sounded like felines in heat.

My neighbor comes by to tell she called the humane society to come and rescue the cats. We both search for these kittens or cats and find nothing but the sounds of cats surrounding and encompassing us.

It felt like we were in the 'Twilight zone,' no feline creatures in sight, just agonizing repeated obnoxious  cries of meowing everywhere.

Upon further look, I find 4 different birds wedged in  the rafters supporting my roof. These birds looked like mice with wings. Could these tiny birds be making that noise?

I went online and googled; "Birds that sound like cats,"  sure enough there are birds that sound exactly like cats and sometimes are mistaken for crying babies. These birds are called "Cat birds." (quite an original name) ;D)
http://www.suite101.com/content/grey-catbird-call-sounds-like-cat-mewing-a187296

"Cat Birds" are not common on the island I live on, but did some research to find out they are to be found on 'Oahu' just 60 miles south of where I live.

Next time you hear a cat in heat or a crying baby, look up in the sky, 'It's a bird, it's a plane, it's not superman but rather flying mice that sound like cats."

I finally got back to American Idol with Randy Jackson screaming, "Scotty's in it to win it!" At that point I came to the realization that the cat birds were  more entertaining than American idol.

"Let's pick better enemies..."

Imagine being a man in your early twenties or late teens, at a time when your testosterone is at an all time high, on top of that being in the military and being on active combat duty makes for even a higher testosterone count. Now imagine being in Iraq or Afghanistan and being one of these men?

Compare this to the Vietnam war era, granted war sucks and testosterone is running high for numerous reasons, however when the soldiers were granted furlough they went to town and partied with good drugs and beautiful woman.

Where to our male soldiers go to release stress in the current middle east wars?

Given a furlough weekend what do they do, go to Tehran and try to pick up a beautiful woman in a Burqa?

Our men will soon wind up killing each other if we don't get out of Iraq and Afghanistan soon.

Nobody likes war but next time our country decides to fight someone, at least fight a society with good looking woman and woman who like to party. Let's pick better enemies next time around, maybe Brazil, Chile, or Italy would be good enemies!?