"The Jewish matchmaker.." Obama Da Dog' (Source)

Obama Da Dog is a lifelong Hawaiian...
She was raised Jewish and enjoys tastefulJewish jokes.

The Jewish matchmaker.

A good  Jewish Hassidic family is most concerned that their 30-year-old son is unmarried. So, they call a marriage broker and ask him to find their son a good wife.

The matchmaker  broker comes over to their house and spends a long time asking questions of the son and his parents as to what they want in a wife/daughter-in-law.They give him a long shopping list of requirements.

The marriage broker takes a long time looking, and finally asks to visit the family again. He then tells them of a wonderful woman he has found.

He says she's just the right age for the son. She keeps a Glatt Kosher home, she regularly attends synagogue and knows the prayers by heart,and she's a wonderful cook. She loves children and wants a large family. And, to crown it all off, she's gorgeous.

After hearing all this, the family is very impressed and begins to get excited about the prospects of a wedding in the near future.

But the son pauses and asks inappropriately:'Is she any good in bed?'
The marriage broker answers, ' WELL ... SOME SAY YES, SOME SAY NO !! '

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"Hawai'i, The Ironies, Complexities and Contradictions..." 'Bettejo Dux' (Classic Wednesday)

Bettejo Dux has lived on the cosmic Garden Island of Kaua'i for over 40 years...

Bettejo is the author of the famed novellas "The Scam."

and recently published  "Children of Extinction..." 
Both books available on www.amazon.com

Hawai'i,  The Ironies, Complexities and Contradictions

Hawai'ian history. Did we 'steal' Hawai'i from the Hawai'ians? You betcha.

But remember, the indigenous Hawai'ian had no concept of private ownership of land. The King owned it all. The people were to live productively-fish, farm, fight and die- peacefully on the land. Take care they  didn't step in the King's shadow.

The first white men to arrive, with billowing sails- and TB, venereal disease, measles, mosquitoes, nails, smallpox and other civilized gifts-were Englishmen. Captain James Cook-no 'e'-and his horny crew. Cooke got eaten. Long pig.

Russians popped in.  Popped out. Then come the American missionaries with their book and outdoor walk- around night gowns. Nudity was a sin. Sex was a sin. Everything was a sin. The Hawai'ians say, "When the missionaries arrived, they had the Bibles and we had the land. Now we got the Bibles and they got the land." Religion reared its ugly head. Most of those early missionary women had a terrible case of the ugugs.

Don't forget the whalers. Fun and games when they came ashore. Hottest spot was Lahai'na. Wow, wow, wow and whoopity do.

Then commerce. Sugar. Queen Emma- a compassionate, sensible woman- looks around and sees that the pale faces controlled all the land. So she issued a decree-the Great Mahele-sign a paper, peasant, and your small piece of paradise-your kuliana- belong to you and you can -'sell' that piece of paper for a few bucks or a bottle of beer to any one who can then kick you off your land.

A personal touch, years later- the 1980s-my husband and I buy our land from Alexander and Baldwin. Where they got it, nobody knows. Or tells, anyway. We bought it. Worked for the money, used it to buy a piece of paper that says 'we own it'. I ain't given' it back to no Hawai'ians. I gave it to NTBG. John Allerton gets in the act.

Christian missionaries and American business men have a sacred economic system.  Greedy business.  Form a group, plea with Washington to become a territory-be sure you read Mark Twain. Call out the Marines. Haul Emma's ass off to home detention.   Commerce reigns.  Tourism. Development. Suburban sprawl. Money. Money. Money, honey.Religion. Capitalism. Holy shit.

Then comes the  American military  in force. Big brass US Navy muckity mucks. So racist they make Ferguson look like a luau.

 Pearl Harbor was a big deal. Excellent Naval Base. Best in the Pacific. The Massey case was a scandalous yellow journalism news blast all over the country. Hearst had a field day. There goes tourism. Matson squeals. Help. Shirley Temple sails the Lurline.  Kind'a cleans up the act. Good for business.

Then come the Japanese and Pearl Harbor. Please note, they only bombed the bases. Made a mess. Martial law. Americans  put back to work-the Great Depression goes bye bye- and the rich get richer building war ships. Kaiser builds a gated community.

If I were a Hawai'ian, I'd make 'them' clean the place up before I took it back.

P.S.
Ironically, this blog also appeared this same day 12-03-14 in the Kaua'i Garden Island Newspaper;
http://thegardenisland.com/news/opinion/guest/another-view-on-hawaiian-history/article_7a990070-7ab6-11e4-9641-cf75c2bd5b8e.html

P.S.S.
Don't forget to check out Bettejo's weekly TV show on Public access Hoike television;

Here is the video link:
http://vp.telvue.com/preview?id=T01393&video=205423

or http://www.hoike.org Arts and Entertainment

*SUPPORT LOCAL ACCESS!!*

 Hana Hou, (Encore) Shared From Facebook...

"A Priest And A Nun..." 'Obama Da dog' (Source)

Obama Da Dog  was born and raised on the island of Kaua'i.
She can be seen around Kapa'a  town with her best friend, James "Kimo" Rosen.

A Priest And A Nun

A priest and a nun are on their way back home from a trip when their car breaks down. They are unable to get it fixed, so they decide to spend the night in a hotel. The only hotel in the town has only one room available.

Priest: Sister, I don’t think the Lord would have a problem, under the circumstances, if we spent the night together in this one room. I’ll sleep on the lounge and you have the bed.

Nun: I think that would be okay.
They prepare for bed and each one takes their agreed place in the room. Ten minutes later…

Nun: Father, I’m terribly cold.
Priest: Okay, I’ll get you a blanket. (He does) 

Ten minutes later…

Nun: Father, I’m still terribly cold.
Priest: Okay Sister, I’ll get you another blanket. (He does)

Ten minutes later…

Nun: Father, I’m still terribly cold. I don’t think the Lord would mind if we acted as man and wife just for this one night. 

Priest: You’re probably right…get up and get your own damn blanket !!

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"Social Vampires..." 'Kimo's world #46'

James “Kimo” Rosen is a retired professional photographer living in Kapa'a
 with his best friend Obama Da Dog, Rosen also blogs as a hobby...

Kimo's World #46
Social Vampires

Most people do not  want to hear about your problems. Do you want to constantly hear about other peoples problems?

When I was younger friends would call each other and say things such as, "what do you want to do?"  You might had responded, "I don't know, what do you want to do?"   Eventually you settle for a movie, bowling or round of mini golf.

 It seems nowadays when you  have a conversation with someone it can be  draining. Who needs friends that are like social vampires, draining all your positive energy?

Sure, I understand we all  have our ups and downs, but I'm referring to the chronic drama Queens and Kings. There are times we need our friends and they need us,  nobody wants a relationship where the person is a constant drain.

We all need to be more positive and considerate to not drain our friends energies. Nobody wants to be referred to as a social Dracula.

They say when you put 100 grandfather clocks in a room and all of them are ticking to a different beat within a short time they will all be in sync. Unfortunately In my case the ones ticking in sync were all negative.

Hanging out with negative people will make you negative. "Negativity breeds negativity."

I am going to try my best to be positive, how about you?

Did I mention everyone is out to get me and nobody likes me?   Just kiddin...   ;-)

This meme was used to promote this blog!

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"The Most Enjoyable Holiday of the year..." 'Judith Whitehead' (Inspiration Sunday)

Judith Whitehead lives in the suburbs of Buffalo N.Y. and has worked
in the ophthalmology field of medicine for almost 40 years.

The Most Enjoyable Holiday of the year

This long weekend that starts with Thanksgiving is one of the most enjoyable holidays of the year.  Not only do we get 4 days off in a row, but it starts the months of family gatherings, enjoyable holidays and reflecting on the thankfulness in our lives.  

We always celebrate with friends and what ever family we have close by. The wonderful smells of the holiday baking in the oven, the calls from friends and families sharing the holiday cheer and the excitement
 building in the stores adds to the joy of the holiday season.  

Today we will celebrate with friends and family and tomorrow we will bring Thanksgiving to my dad at the  nursing home to join him at this time of year. Since he is immobile and ageing it has become too difficult to bring him out so we bring all celebrations throughout the year to him. 

 I know he enjoys the great smells and wonderful food that he doesn't get a chance to eat very often and gets the whole family to see at the same time all together. 

 My message to you all  is too enjoy the holiday season and try and not focus on the commercial part of it as much as the holiday of giving and sharing of yourselves with others.  

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"Obesity gone wild, Happy Thanksgiving..!‏" 'Kimo's world #45'

James “Kimo” Rosen is a retired professional photographer living in Kapa'a
 with his best friend Obama Da Dog, Rosen also blogs as a hobby...
 http://thegardenisland.com/news/opinion/mailbag/letters-for-friday-november/article_94ea4b00-76bf-11e4-b748-bf3e6cdbebfd.html

My sister and brother-in-law visiting
me on Kauai a few years back.
This meme was also used to
 promote this blog on Facebook

Kimo's world  #45

Obesity gone wild, Happy Thanksgiving!‏

Once a week I make my weekly sojourn to Costco to purchase a Rotisserie chicken. My dog and myself eat off it all week long.

The chickens are fully cooked and are the size of a small turkey.  Cost is only $4.99! That is a deal anywhere especially on the overpriced island of Kaua'i where a raw chicken alone  can cost you double, even triple that. For me and many families every week is Thanksgiving.

I do not go out much. I am like the little old lady who only drives to church on Sunday. I am the old guy that just drives to Costco once a week. I am also an avid people watcher and have noticed an obesity epidemic . I am 20 lbs over weight myself, yet feel like slim Jim (Kimo)compared to the masses when out shopping.

America has gotten so fat, even the homeless are fat. Look at the free soup kitchens, the people dishing out the food are  slimmer than the house-less people.

Thanksgiving has become a holiday  that is no longer needed. People eat like gluttons all year.

You've heard of "girls gone wild," Thanksgiving has become the holiday of "Obesity gone wild."

So on Thanksgiving everyone lift up your shirts and show that pot belly that America has so proudly produced!

How about making Thanksgiving a day of  fresh salads, fresh fruits and Tofu! At least you may stay alive another year to be Thankful!
On second thought,someone, please pass the gravy!

Happy Turkey day!

P.S.
This blog also appeared as an opinion column in the Kaua'i Garden Island news on November 28, 2014;
http://thegardenisland.com/news/opinion/mailbag/letters-for-friday-november/article_94ea4b00-76bf-11e4-b748-bf3e6cdbebfd.html

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"Bettejo’s Cat House..." 'Bettejo Dux' (Classic Wednesday)

Bettejo Dux has lived on the cosmic Garden Island of Kaua'i for over 40 years...

Bettejo is the author of the famed novellas "The Scam."

and recently published  "Children of Extinction..." 
Both books available on www.amazon.com

Bettejo’s Cat House

Cat’s are really getting a bad rap. Not only on Kauai-the largest and most infamous extermination island in Hawaii-where we want to extinct parakeets, feral chickens- ‘specially crowing roosters-coqui frogs, cats and other living things. (Not tourists, or rich guys in gated communities, or military personnel who shoot off rockets and stuff at Barking Sands.} But lately, cat surfing around, I’ve discovered they don’t make  good pets. Too independent, won’t come when called, hate to be petted, undomesticated, night prowling predators, and-for goodness sake- a health hazard.

Cat poop causes dread disease and possible death! Horrors!! Why didn’t somebody tell me? I’ve been around cats and cat poop for 84 years. My first cat, Helen, a yellow tiger, slept with me in my crib. When she and I outgrew the  crib, she slept in an overhead light fixture in my bedroom and once I put her in a flour bin, which startled my mother when she opened it to bake a cake and a white flash of angry feline fur flew out in her face. My mother screamed. My father, busy chopping the head off a fat rooster in the back yard, yelled, “What now?”

“Helen just jumped out of the flour bin.”

“How’d she get in there?”

Neither Helen nor I ever told. When Helen went to cat heaven, my father bought me a Siamese cat.  At that time we lived in an apartment in San Francisco  and she walked around a six-story ledge every night-rain or shine- red eyes scaring the neighbors. We named her Wishee.  We also had a Collie, named Lady,  who chased cable cars. My next cat was a black cat named Moses, who lived with us in Montclair, then Pleasanton, then Marin County. Mose would only enter the house on Wolf’s Grade through a living room window, and exit from my parents bedroom in the middle of the night. He’d put a paw under their closed-door and shake it.  It had a wrought iron handle that rattled down the hallway like an angry wraith. I don’t know that it awakened the dead, but it certainly wakened me and my parents. I guarantee you, one of us got out of bed and let the cat out.

Someone, in the cat bad- rapping scene, asked when and why we domesticated the damn things to begin with and, indeed, it is somewhat of a mystery.

What we know is by the Middle Egyptian Empire the cat as a fisher, hunter, and ratter was known and appreciated. Later on it was worshipped as a god.

So? Well, my two new kittens, Reba and Rosa, love to be petted. Come when called. Purr in harmony. Live in a three-story cat palace that probably cost more than most kid’s cribs. My house is a cat house. They romp in the rafters. Climb the walls. Jump up and down on counters and tables. Sleep in a lump in my water-bed. Eat like horses.

And, dare I ask? Why do you think they call it pussy?

This meme appeared on Facebook to promote this blog!

P.S.
Don't forget to check out Bettejo's weekly TV show on Public access Hoike television;

Here is the video link:
http://vp.telvue.com/preview?id=T01393&video=205423

or http://www.hoike.org Arts and Entertainment

*SUPPORT LOCAL ACCESS!!*

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